Tracy Inscore Redefines Success Beyond the Daily Hustle

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Welcome to Transacting Value, where we talk about practical applications for personal values when dealing with each other and even within ourselves.

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Where we foster a podcast listening experience that lets you hear the power of a value system for managing burnout, establishing boundaries and finding belonging.

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My name is Josh Porthouse, I'm your host and we are your people.

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This is why values still hold value.

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This is Transacting Value.

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I've never met anyone, though, who's made it to adulthood without some sort of trauma, like even if you had the best, most well-meaning parents in the world, because it's not about the intention, it's about how it affected you.

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Today on Transacting Value Daddy.

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He said why do you work all the time?

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Well, because I have to, yeah, but why do you have to?

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Because, son, there's people out there that need my help, and if I don't do it, who will?

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If not me, who else would it be?

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Plus, I feel driven to it.

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That's honor, that's sacrifice, that's duty.

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That's what it means to be a man, son, and that's what we're talking about today on the show.

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All of these things that we get taught and exposed to as kids growing up, subconsciously we tend to adopt to a certain emotional degree.

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When we get older, we go through trials and hardship and tribulation that then, when we get older, we get into jobs and workplaces and routines that also encourage trial and hardship and tribulation and challenge.

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Eventually, though, we start to realize that maybe that's not as authentic to who we are or who we want to be, because we're doing it because of some subconscious driver, and that is what leads to burnout.

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This conversation we're talking with Tracy Inscore all about emotional freedom, therapy, and we're talking about what it means to recognize causes of burnout, potential symptoms and potential outcomes.

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We're talking about generational patterns and societal programming, subconscious fears and limiting beliefs and folks.

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If that's something that you think resonates with you or anybody else that you know, then I appreciate you stopping in to listen.

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I'm Porter, I'm your host and this is Transacting Value Tracy how you doing.

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Hi Porter, I'm doing well, Thank you.

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Good, good and again, I told you this before we hit record, but I really do appreciate your time coming in to share some of your perspectives.

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I'm sure you've got clients and you've obviously got a life to deal with.

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So, all things considered, I'm assuming this is like one more thing in your schedule.

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Am I close?

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It is, but it's also one of my absolute favorite things to do, so I'm so happy to be here, because I love talking about this topic and just wanting to bring this to as many people as possible.

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But just because you're happy about it and excited about it, doesn't that make it difficult to fit into your schedule?

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I mean, you still have other things to accomplish.

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Does that make a difference for you?

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Absolutely.

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Yeah, I am still a part-time practicing attorney, I do freelance editing work on the side and then I have this holistic energy healing practice.

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So it is a lot.

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I have always kind of been that way with with multitasking and, as I and as I'm sure I'll share in a bit, I had my own experience with pretty severe burnout from trying to do all these things.

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Fortunately, I have found a way through emotional freedom techniques, through my own healing path, through getting really clear and defined on my purpose and values, ways to manage all of these things simultaneously in a way that doesn't burn me out and drain me.

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You know I am impressed.

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Honestly I am because that's difficult to overcome and, frankly, in a lot of cases mine included just gaining that awareness was almost like a fortuitous cosmic event, like I didn't even realize I needed to, and so to discover any of this awareness or clarity.

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And so, for anybody who's new to the show, the majority of my career, the last well, 14 years now has been active duty in the Marine Corps, most of which I've spent in the infantry, and so I didn't make my schedule.

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I didn't actually have a choice in who made it, let alone what it was, and a lot of that cost me a marriage, cost me a closer relationship with my son, cost me to lose sight of who I was, and then, obviously, as a result, see degraded results.

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In whatever efforts I was putting into anything, no matter how much I thought I was pushing, I didn't get anywhere, and I'm wagering that there's a lot of you guys listening to this that may be in a similar circumstance.

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And so, Tracy, in your case, you saying that you're doing things that you enjoy, or at least doing things that you've been able to find enjoyment, helps.

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Yeah, absolutely, and so I think that one of the main causes of burnout is not only over giving, over performing, over working right, like too much energy going out, but also not enough of the right energy coming back in.

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So doing things that you enjoy, doing things that that fill you up, that light you up, you know, I find that a lot of my clients and I used to have this issue as well is a lot of trouble with receiving, whether that's receiving help or asking for help, you know, but then receiving it, receiving gifts, receiving, you know, just allowing ourselves to want what we want, to enjoy ourselves.

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So that is really like the other piece of the of the puzzle is that getting really good at receiving and allowing as well.

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Well, that also sounds like two more tasks now that I've got to overcome, or learn how to do, or figure out how to learn, right on top of.

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I'm in survival mode, Tracy, I'm surviving, not thriving right now, and all of this actualization stuff.

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I don't see how that's possible.

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Like I don't have time to think about me because I've got to worry about taking care of my family or my kids or my job and just maintaining some degree of security and shelter.

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You know what I mean.

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Mean I'm figuring out do I pay for groceries or do I pay the electric bill?

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And you're telling me I got to worry about how well I receive gifts.

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Come on, how do the two align?

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How is one possible in spite of the other?

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You're so right.

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Yeah, you're talking about like the hierarchy of needs that when you're consumed with basic survival, all of that higher stuff and self actualization and all that kind of goes out the window.

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And so in the work that I do is really bridging between the practical day to day and then the more spiritual enlightenment growth path, because I really have a foot in both worlds.

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I totally get it and for me what it really all comes down to is nervous system regulation and the power of the subconscious mind.

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And the thing is we might have very little control over any of our outside circumstances.

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Right, we can't control what other people do.

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We can't control, in many cases, our job situations.

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Think of like a first responder.

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They have no control over what they're going to show up and see or encounter that day.

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But what we can control is our responses.

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We can control where our boundaries are.

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We can increase our resilience, we can learn to soothe our own nervous systems so that we're no longer walking around in this highly reactive, hypervigilant state of fight or flight, and a lot of times because our nervous system is constantly taking cues from our subconscious and vice versa.

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Our subconscious mind is incredibly powerful.

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It controls probably about 95% of our life, of our thoughts.

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About 90 to 95% of our thoughts are not conscious.

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They're actually subconscious, and so when we can tap into that and start overriding some of the societal programming that so much so many of us are under this hustle culture?

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Maybe it's fears or limiting beliefs around money.

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Maybe a belief that we have to struggle and sacrifice in order to be worthy, that it's not allowed to be easy for us.

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Maybe it was messages from our family of origin around money or our worth or value, past trauma, whatever it might be.

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Yeah, but you got to earn it, right.

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I mean, that's the prevailing Western culture, generally speaking, at least as far as millennial parenting is concerned.

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In my opinion, Like, not everybody should get the trophy.

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You got to earn, earn it, you got to put in the effort, right?

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These, I don't know, high school coach isms right.

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So, yeah, I, I think that is.

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I guess, now that you bring it up, I think it is a cultural thing.

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But you know, you hear about these, uh, tiger moms, this, this concept, uh, helicopter parents, right, being hard on your kids to ensure they get a good education and whatever.

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But I, I think you're bringing up a pretty cool point a lot of that stuff psychologically, your parents right, being hard on your kids to ensure they get a good education and whatever.

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But I, I think you're bringing up a pretty cool point a lot of that stuff psychologically sticks in any other application as we grow up.

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And so do you think it's a societal driven or, or what's the word societally driven ism and quirk, or is it out of necessity, just because we want to, you know, make our kids do well and ensure they can become more resilient, is it?

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Is it a problem or is it a benefit?

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No, I think it's both.

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I think it's comes from the larger society and then it kind of trickles down into the family unit, where, of course, you want your kids to have a fighting chance and you want your kids to have a better life than you want your kids to have a better life than you had and to avoid the quote, unquote mistakes that you made so many of us, like in my generation.

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We're told you got to go to college and that will make sure that you get a good job.

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And then now you see all these people saddled with student loan debt.

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The job market is not what it was promised to be.

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A master's degree doesn't get you what it what it used to, and so it can be really discouraging.

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And I think a lot of those messages are very well intentioned, but they really come from a scarcity mindset and more of a fear based place than from a love and abundance mindset, which might go more like there's more than enough for everybody.

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And that by actually tapping into our, our soul's, true purpose, finding out what our unique mission is and aligning with our values and our priorities, that's how we can create a successful life, and it doesn't have to be, you know, according to this, this model, or this, this mold that everyone else's is doing and that a lot of people are, might look successful and happy on the outside and they're miserable.

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Alrighty, folks, stay tight.

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We'll be right back on Transacting Value, because lung cancer is most treatable when caught early.

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gov or talk with your primary care provider.

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Let' t scarcity the Let;s Let;s a c a c e f piece and generally it.

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character That's how we can create a successful life and it doesn't have to be, you know, according to this, this model or this, this mold that it

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Do you think that's more rooted maybe in some degree of ignorance and I don't mean that to sound disrespectful, I just mean it to sound like unaware, maybe some degree of ignorance around?

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I understand that, let's just say, in the US or in a westernized or developed culture, generally speaking, especially around capitalism, there is enough money, there's an equal opportunity that everybody has, based on inalienable rights and freedoms in the US to be able to go after whatever they want.

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Now, what is not equal is the starting point on that rat race, right, some people are just comparably disadvantaged in that compared to others, maybe, but the awareness that the opportunity exists, I think, is fairly common in the US.

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How to make that happen, how to actualize those intentions and goals, I think is not.

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And so do you think that scarcity mindset is framed more from ignorance than it is from fear?

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You know that's.

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That's a really interesting question, and I think part of it is that if there's any ignorance, it's that people don't know how freaking powerful they are.

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What do you mean?

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To create their own reality, to step into their purpose, to have the kind of life that they want, to create their own outcomes, to break free of a lot of this, this programming and these narratives that we've just kind of taken and run with and not really ever sat down and questioned.

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Is this what I want?

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Does this resonate with me?

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Is this, is this true for me?

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It sounds like that's a luxury, though, because I want to, I don't know.

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Let's.

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Let's make sure I want to be a banker.

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That's kind of vague.

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I want to be a whatever.

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I want to own a bank, let's say.

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But I can't do that.

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I'm a what am I?

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I'm a firefighter, right, like I.

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That's nice, that's the shiny object, that's the trophy, that's the dream.

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But the reality is all I know is fire science.

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So how do I do that?

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Just because I want it bad enough, doesn't actually make it happen.

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Right, that's a luxury.

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Yeah, and that's where a lot of people have trouble with this sort of like law of attraction type stuff is that, oh, this just is not realistic.

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Like this doesn't explain, then, why there's so many people, millions and millions of people in the world living in poverty, in these horrible conditions.

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Like what are you saying?

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They can just think their way out of it and believe it and manifest it, and I get that.

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That's why that's confusing and a lot of people disagree with that, and I think that it's part of a, an awakening process.

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Oh and so, as we start to wake up and we have access to this kind of information maybe this is the first time that someone is hearing even this possibility we have to start there with even considering that that's possibility to reach something higher or different, and then from there I would say, okay, what is it about owning a bank that appeals to you?

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What is the end result that you want?

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What are you actually looking for?

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You probably don't want to own a bank just for the sake of saying that you get to own a bank.

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It's like your reasons might have to do with abundance, security, providing for others, whatever it might be.

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So I would ask you or that person and say, hey, like let's get into those deeper things that you actually want.

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All, right, now, where can we start creating that in the life that you have right now as a firefighter, cause we're not telling anyone to go and quit their job tomorrow, but we're saying how can we bring those things in to the life that you already have?

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And once we start doing that because everything is energy and that's where then we can start using some of the law of attraction stuff is your life can exponentially start changing, but the energetic shift has to happen within you first.

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Main Tracy.

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You should make this your job.

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Okay, so I've got a and for anybody who missed it.

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She did so we'll get into that here in a little bit.

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Well, I've got a and for anybody who missed it.

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She did so.

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We'll get into that here in a little bit.

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But I think being able to start from somewhere and I think you called it what did you call it A burnout origin story.

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Is that what you're referring to?

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Just sort of the initial introduction between you now and the you that you could be identifying that I don't know place in space time?

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Is that what a burnout origin story means?

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Yeah.

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So when I talk about the burnout origin story, I'm usually talking about the childhood patterns, the things from your family of origin that set you up for this burnout pattern later in life, and so I can give an example just from my own story if that's helpful.

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So I grew up in the 80s and 90s.

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My parents were part of a religious cult and extremely high control, lots of restrictions on what we could or couldn't do, harsh physical discipline.

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I had a dad who was kind of a rageaholic, so grew up kind of walking on eggshells, and I was an only child, so I had to navigate that all alone and realized pretty quickly though, that academic achievement was a way to ensure kind of family peace, to ensure kind of family peace, to ensure that I got my needs met, to get approval, and so that became a really powerful reward system where my whole sense of worth and value became tied to performing, doing, achieving, fixing, helping, you name it, and so that was really the perfect storm to set the stage for burnout later in life.

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So if we think of burnout as a fire, that flame was already like smoldering within me from a very young age, and then going to law school and then having a demanding career was just like pouring gasoline on that fire.

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And so my parents divorced when I was 14.

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They eventually got out of the cult.

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I tested out of high school when I was 15.

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I started working full time and taking college classes.

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So when people talk about well, you don't understand.

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Like I have to work, no, I get it.

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I've been working my whole life.

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And so going to law school just seemed like the next logical step, like in my track record of doing really hard things to prove my, my value.

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So after I graduated, you know I was a star associate representing one of the largest companies in the world, doing really well on the outside, but inside I was miserable.

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I was self-medicating with alcohol binge drinking every weekend.

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I was severely depressed.

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I had chronic, unexplained neck pain.

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I was sick all the time and I struggled with imposter syndrome to some degree anyway.

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But then the fact that there was such a huge disconnect between my inner world and outer world really just intensified that feeling of being an imposter, like I was a fraud, because if people only knew how much I was struggling, gosh, like they wouldn't trust me with any of this.

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What are they thinking?

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So, about 10 years ago.

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You know, I left full-time practice, still continue to practice part time and I went in house for a time.

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I did editing work.

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I was a professor at a few different colleges and law schools.

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I was even a fitness instructor.

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These are all things that I really love doing.

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All these other things once I left, like the full time law practice hustle.

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But I managed to burn out again doing all of those those fun things too, because it was never really about the job or what I was doing.

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It was the energy that I brought to each of those roles and probably also the fact that I tried to do them all at the same time, like five or six part-time gigs at one time.

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But I felt like I had to be perfect.

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I felt like I could never say no to anyone and part of me liked it, like my ego thrived on being in demand and being that go-to person because it gave a sense of control, like if I could be that needed, then it felt like I was safe from being rejected or abandoned.

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So when you look at it as an overall pattern in life and for most people it does show up as a pattern, whether that's issues with overgiving and one sided relationships, being in codependent relationships over exercising, maybe extreme diets, self medicating in some way.

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It doesn't matter what you're doing, you'll find a way to overextend yourself or to be out of balance in some way, and so it all comes back to that burnout.

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Origin story of where did this start?

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All right, folks sit tight and we'll be right back on Transacting Value.

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All right, folks.

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If you're looking for more perspective and more podcasts, you can check out Transacting Value on Wreaths Across America Radio.

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Listen in on iHeartRadio Odyssey and TuneIn.

00:22:20.529 --> 00:22:25.291
And so it all comes back to that burnout origin story of where did this start?

00:22:25.951 --> 00:22:37.096
Hmm, do you have any experience or any current clients maybe, or just insight into the Department of Defense, US Department D o o of ?

00:22:37.276 --> 00:22:54.742
Defense at all and learned how effective this is to treat PTSD for combat veterans and other people who might have traumatic experiences like that.

00:22:54.742 --> 00:22:57.144
But I'm curious to hear your take.

00:22:58.144 --> 00:23:27.045
Well, I mean, I appreciate the application and not to trivialize any sort of post-traumatic stressors, but I think they all require some degree of awareness that, ok, there is an impact and at least in my experience of all the guys and people that I've worked with throughout my time in the Marine Corps and in the Navy to date and I'm just saying US service members that the awareness of that detriment or degradation maybe isn't always there.

00:23:27.045 --> 00:23:33.951
Maybe isn't always there.

00:23:33.951 --> 00:23:38.762
There's like a disconnect, I think, because over time I think the repetitiveness and the routine becomes the norm.

00:23:38.762 --> 00:23:45.719
And so you just, it's just another Tuesday, it's not another high, stressful day, it's not.

00:23:45.719 --> 00:23:47.972
You know, oh, thank you for your service.

00:23:47.972 --> 00:23:59.979
It's not think of all the things you've done and the sacrifices, it is from the recruiter in the beginning, right, it is in the commercials, like in the Marine Corps honor, courage, commitment, climb the mountain, slay the dragon pillar of fire with a sword, kind of moments.

00:23:59.979 --> 00:24:15.858
And that was pretty sweet and I think there's a bit of a truth to that metaphor, right, trial by fire, so to speak, and by fire, so to speak, and you really do accomplish quite a bit and, in my experience, derive a lot of pride from that and a lot of identity from that as well.

00:24:15.878 --> 00:24:39.251
And so when I moved into the reserves a few months ago and for a lot of guys and a lot of service members for that matter that in their contracts at four or every five to six years every four years, let's say they make it to 20 and retire, whatever it is, some people almost myself included stay in because it's safe.

00:24:39.251 --> 00:24:40.615
Getting out is scary, or even just moving into the reserves is scary.

00:24:40.615 --> 00:24:46.436
And so when you mentioned that scarcity piece, all I was told for 14 years was you sure you want to get out?

00:24:46.436 --> 00:24:46.979
Every four to six years?

00:24:46.979 --> 00:24:48.663
I had to go back and decide do I want to stay in or want to get out?

00:24:48.663 --> 00:24:49.306
Are to six years?

00:24:49.306 --> 00:24:51.771
I had to go back and decide do I want to stay into one, get out?

00:24:51.771 --> 00:25:06.133
Are you sure in the job market out there you're not be able to find work and in the infantry, come on, just because I can shoot really well, just because I can walk far with a pack, just because I can do whatever tactically I need to, and I had a you know position that worked well for me.

00:25:06.133 --> 00:25:13.836
How does that translate as a mechanic, as a banker, as an investor, as a realtor, which is what I've got now.

00:25:13.836 --> 00:25:16.005
It really didn't at face value.

00:25:16.607 --> 00:25:24.519
And so I started thinking everything was just this insurmountable thing and I wasted my life and I have nothing to translate and no way to carry anything over.

00:25:24.519 --> 00:25:40.531
And so then I started hearing stories of other people that had gotten out, retired, gotten into the news, whatever went back to school, found their place in a different job and did well at it, started their own companies and are still doing well at it Now not all right.

00:25:40.531 --> 00:25:46.784
Some don't get me wrong, nothing against the VFW but they hang out at the VFW every night and they're just trying to find work Right.

00:25:46.784 --> 00:25:55.511
Just trying to find work Right.

00:25:55.511 --> 00:25:58.279
But in my experience that was very depressing and it just caused me to stop and think for a little bit.

00:25:58.942 --> 00:25:59.904
What was I doing?

00:25:59.904 --> 00:26:00.928
What was it for?

00:26:00.928 --> 00:26:05.740
More importantly, now that I don't have it, who am I and what am I trying to accomplish without it?

00:26:05.740 --> 00:26:35.122
And this podcast actually became more my therapy, because I get to talk it out with people and I prefer to stand on a value system and some degree of character development in that process, to try to find self-worth and become more self-aware, because that guaranteed I can carry over from whatever I did to whatever I'm doing, no matter what the skill set was in application, or, you know, in the Marine Corps, in my opinion, as a service-based industry.

00:26:35.122 --> 00:26:44.673
So why do you think, all that being said, people choose these high stress jobs to begin with, when it's so difficult?

00:26:44.673 --> 00:26:51.377
Well, maybe it's because people don't know it's so difficult to shift, but why do you think people choose these positions in the first place?

00:26:51.377 --> 00:26:52.602
What's the draw, what's the appeal?

00:26:52.602 --> 00:26:57.402
In your case, obviously it was a bit different, but similar application, yeah.

00:26:58.310 --> 00:27:07.323
So I think that a big piece of this is that our subconscious mind interprets familiarity as safety.

00:27:07.323 --> 00:27:08.349
Okay.

00:27:08.830 --> 00:27:19.603
And that can be really hard to kind of wrap our minds around, because that might mean that things in our life that we don't like, feelings that we don't like feeling that way.

00:27:19.603 --> 00:27:26.005
Still our subconscious is like well, that at least feels familiar, and so I know what to do with that.

00:27:26.005 --> 00:27:31.771
Like you may have heard the saying that people will choose a familiar hell over an unfamiliar heaven.

00:27:31.771 --> 00:27:43.157
So let's say that someone is used to being in a constant state of hypervigilance Maybe that was growing up from an abusive parent or whatever.

00:27:43.157 --> 00:27:52.463
Or maybe having to be a caregiver or constantly fixing or rescuing others, even if they don't consciously want that at all.

00:27:52.463 --> 00:28:00.075
Until they become aware of that and they do the work to clear that, their subconscious just says that's safe and that's what we know.

00:28:00.075 --> 00:28:09.933
So as much as we may consciously dislike our burnout pattern and think I would never choose this for myself, I don't like feeling stressed out like this.

00:28:09.933 --> 00:28:13.220
Every day we have to ask ourselves what about?

00:28:13.220 --> 00:28:15.124
This feels familiar to me.

00:28:15.124 --> 00:28:43.202
So if someone is always the go-to person, the fixer, the helper, on some level they're very comfortable in that role and even if they feel resentful about it, it feels safe because it's predictable and maybe they're getting some sort of hidden payoff from being in that role, whether it's getting to be in control, controlling the way that others view them, getting to be viewed as helpful, you know, avoiding conflict.

00:28:44.029 --> 00:28:56.680
The other thing is that as adults we tend to seek out situations that allow us to recreate our childhood emotional experiences until we've done the work to be aware and clear that programming.

00:28:57.161 --> 00:29:08.338
So, just using myself as an example, you know the feelings and stress that I experienced as a lawyer totally matched my emotional experiences in childhood.

00:29:08.700 --> 00:29:15.538
So feeling like I wasn't allowed to make a mistake, feeling like I had to keep the peace, feeling this constant pressure.

00:29:15.538 --> 00:29:21.603
And what's interesting is that for me as a kid, there were very severe consequences if I made a mistake.

00:29:21.603 --> 00:29:40.186
So the fact that I chose a career where the stakes were super high and like millions of dollars were at stake if I messed up was a perfect match to the fact that I spent so much time as a kid trying to avoid punishment through performance and achievement.

00:29:40.186 --> 00:29:45.124
So other things that I'll hear from my clients about how they feel now as adults.

00:29:45.124 --> 00:30:13.893
So they feel trapped, they feel powerless, unappreciated, alone, overwhelmed, usually on some level matches up with the way they often felt as a child or some aspect of their family dynamics growing up, and so that can be part of why we choose a demanding, high stress profession in the first place because it feels like such a match to us on an emotional and nervous system level.

00:30:13.893 --> 00:30:16.448
So I don't know if that resonates with you at all.

00:30:17.599 --> 00:30:20.627
Actually, yeah, growing up we had.

00:30:20.627 --> 00:30:34.428
So we went to a private school down in Florida, my older brother and I, and we're pretty close in age, and so when we were in well as far back as I can barely remember, I suppose, my older brother and I were going through school.

00:30:34.428 --> 00:30:40.961
I mean, man, we would get up at 5.30 every morning and on Monday through Friday we would get up at 5.30.

00:30:40.961 --> 00:30:42.846
We'd have to be at school by seven.

00:30:42.846 --> 00:30:45.553
We'd stay there till whatever time 3, 3.30.

00:30:45.553 --> 00:30:52.509
We'd get picked up and then most days, especially in high school it was at least for me I couldn't focus on homework.

00:30:52.891 --> 00:30:55.355
It was any other number of things that was happening in my head.

00:30:55.355 --> 00:30:59.884
And so five, six hours, as soon as you get home, sit down at the dining room table till your homework's done.

00:30:59.884 --> 00:31:02.470
You're not going to eat, you're not going to get up, you're not going to do anything.

00:31:02.470 --> 00:31:18.469
Bury your head and do it or don't do it, and deal with the consequences, which meant go to bed with no dinner, and I remember getting yelled at because dinner was cold, but I didn't finish my homework, I couldn't eat it, and then it was like this sort of double jeopardy thing.

00:31:19.240 --> 00:31:28.633
Well then I enlisted and got into the infantry and I was getting yelled at all the time, getting up at 530, getting rushed around and couldn't do anything on my time.

00:31:28.633 --> 00:31:39.326
I had to do it based on somebody else's standards for how I spent my time and I never actually thought about it until just this conversation, how close that actually was.

00:31:39.326 --> 00:32:04.351
And not you know no offense, mom, I don't mean this in a negative light, but it really did parallel, I think pretty well, and you mentioned something earlier too about doing hard things to prove your value, and I think that complexity and that drive, that ambition, just the chase, was alluring and I didn't really know why.

00:32:04.351 --> 00:32:14.301
And I'm assuming that's what you mean when you say subconscious, because a half hour ago to me subconscious meant dreaming when I'm asleep, not conscious.

00:32:14.301 --> 00:32:30.215
But now what I'm thinking a bit more is just, you know, sort of this cosmic energy and influence of similarity and pattern recognition, almost without my I don't know steering towards it, Just the inevitability of it.

00:32:30.215 --> 00:32:31.517
Maybe Am I close.

00:32:39.299 --> 00:32:40.281
Yeah, it's operating 24-7,.

00:32:40.301 --> 00:32:49.795
We're awake or asleep or anything, and you know I love to bring the fact that you bring up some of your family dynamics and the fact that you know you can recognize that pattern and the thing you know.

00:32:49.815 --> 00:32:53.813
The crazy thing is I mentioned, like, some not so great things about my childhood.

00:32:53.813 --> 00:33:13.589
Sounds like you had some maybe not so great moments too, but I had good parents, like, and so many of us fall into that comparison trap of like, oh well, I didn't have childhood trauma, because I know someone who had it so much worse than I did, or I didn't have this kind of abuse going on, so I'm lucky.

00:33:13.589 --> 00:33:15.574
And that's the thing is like.

00:33:15.574 --> 00:33:24.934
I've never met anyone, though, who's made it to adulthood without some sort of trauma, like even if you had the best, most well-meaning parents in the world.

00:33:24.934 --> 00:33:57.401
Because it's not about the intention, it's about how it affected you, and a lot of it is that just recognizing that things that happened to us before about the age of seven so that's before our brain's limbic system is fully developed those get interpreted and stored in our subconscious very differently than the things that we experience as an adult, because we don't have the whole like frame of reference, logic, reasoning skills that we do as adults.

00:33:57.461 --> 00:34:25.422
So a lot of us are running on old programming that maybe is based on what, like the six-year-old version of us believed, which is kind of frightening, right exactly and so that is running 24 7 like software or an app in the background, and that's why some, so many of us feel stuck in like a loop or a pattern and it's like why do I keep creating the same thing over and over again?

00:34:25.422 --> 00:34:28.628
Why can't I get out of this when I consciously know better?

00:34:28.628 --> 00:34:29.289
Yeah.

00:34:29.289 --> 00:34:41.471
And, exactly like you said, I think that the secret is really in tapping into that subconscious aspect, and once you do that, it becomes so much easier.

00:34:43.161 --> 00:34:45.626
Alrighty, folks sit tight, We'll be right back on Transacting Value.

00:34:51.719 --> 00:34:54.284
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00:35:35.960 --> 00:35:38.849
com for more information.

00:35:47.599 --> 00:35:48.702
Exactly like you said.

00:35:48.702 --> 00:35:58.371
I think the secret is really in tapping into that subconscious aspect, is really in tapping into that subconscious aspect, and once you do that it becomes so much easier.

00:35:59.253 --> 00:36:05.748
You know, there's a comedian and I wish I could remember his name now, but I didn't intend to bring this story up until you just made the point.

00:36:05.748 --> 00:36:11.568
I found him in an Instagram reel probably dry bar comedy or some profile like that.

00:36:11.568 --> 00:36:13.521
It was a standup routine, I think.

00:36:13.521 --> 00:36:21.132
Overall, he was talking about self-awareness and he was saying, growing up, he would wait and he said it's such a foreign concept.

00:36:21.132 --> 00:36:21.351
Now.

00:36:21.992 --> 00:36:24.771
Now you scroll on your phone, you wonder why somebody's late.

00:36:24.771 --> 00:36:26.119
You try to figure out what happened.

00:36:26.119 --> 00:36:28.045
Is there a traffic jam somewhere, an accident?

00:36:28.045 --> 00:36:28.726
Did they text you?

00:36:28.726 --> 00:36:29.347
Did you miss it?

00:36:29.347 --> 00:36:30.550
Was your phone on vibrate?

00:36:30.550 --> 00:36:31.643
Was it not on vibrate?

00:36:31.643 --> 00:36:32.385
Did you not hear it?

00:36:33.487 --> 00:36:39.744
Instead, instead, 15, 20 years ago, even if somebody was late, you just stood there.

00:36:39.744 --> 00:37:00.987
It was just you with yourself thinking and that conscious or maybe I guess in this light, subconscious discovery and degree of self-awareness removed the distractions and degree of self-awareness removed the distractions, sort of quieted the noise, and now waiting, just in that sense, doesn't exist.

00:37:00.987 --> 00:37:01.987
You don't have to.

00:37:01.987 --> 00:37:20.398
You can whatever, entertain yourself, look up whatever you want, but in waiting, I think it gives us an opportunity to develop some of this self-awareness and so not to get super luddite here, but maybe there's a deficiency in the tech where we're trading some degree of awareness for convenience, maybe.

00:37:24.739 --> 00:37:26.789
And so I've got a question for you and we haven't hit this yet, and that's fine.

00:37:26.789 --> 00:37:34.530
But one of the things that you mentioned, you have an ebook on your website, an e-workbook on your website, all about this emotional freedom process, right?

00:37:34.530 --> 00:37:38.827
And so one of the points that you mentioned in there I'm just going to read this sentence real quick.

00:37:38.827 --> 00:37:47.889
It says I realized that most of us have never spent much time thinking about or clearly defining, one, our life purpose, two, our unique mission.

00:37:47.889 --> 00:37:51.550
Three, our core values and four, our priorities.

00:37:51.550 --> 00:37:59.329
Not knowing these four key things can cause us to live out of alignment with our true selves, and this leads to burnout, because inauthenticity is draining.

00:37:59.329 --> 00:38:10.365
But if I don't know those things and I don't know how to find those things, figure them out, whatever, there's not much I can do about it based on that as a counterpoint, right?

00:38:10.365 --> 00:38:11.590
So let me ask you this.

00:38:11.590 --> 00:38:15.161
This is a segment of the show called Developing.

00:38:15.201 --> 00:38:19.284
Character For anybody new to the show, and obviously Tracy, you included.

00:38:19.284 --> 00:38:20.925
This is two questions.

00:38:20.925 --> 00:38:32.152
Answer as vulnerably as you want, as in-depth as you want, totally up to you brought up around, and you mentioned a few earlier.

00:38:32.152 --> 00:38:39.536
But for the sake of consistency here, my first question is what were some of the values that you were raised on?

00:38:46.681 --> 00:38:55.420
exposed to generally often that you think maybe formed this subconscious base for you, definitely a strong work ethic, and I'm grateful for that.

00:38:55.420 --> 00:38:56.181
I still have that to this day.

00:38:56.181 --> 00:39:01.306
I would say discipline would be another very strong one that stands out to me.

00:39:01.306 --> 00:39:03.809
And then, of course, you know typical.

00:39:03.809 --> 00:39:12.356
I think the way that most people think of values is maybe more as their morals or their ethical system of behavior.

00:39:12.356 --> 00:39:19.487
So, of course, things like honesty and loyalty and integrity were always very important.

00:39:19.487 --> 00:39:59.335
But I think part of growing up in such a restrictive environment with you know the religious rules and that whole experience is, yeah, probably why freedom is now my number one value, because I kind of made a vow to myself as the younger version of me, like I will never live like this, and kind of seeing how you know when you're truly free I mean like really, really free you have no need to manipulate or control or coerce or mistreat anyone else.

00:40:01.583 --> 00:40:08.152
Yeah, we had a guy come on the show I don't remember exactly season three, but my point being his name is Scott Carley.

00:40:08.152 --> 00:40:28.648
He calls himself the Change Energizer, and one of the things that he talked about was that all majorly successful define that how you want people throughout history, and he had a list of one, no, six triggers that caused them to be successful, and one of them was I'm done, I don't want to be like this anymore.

00:40:28.648 --> 00:40:37.465
And it becomes this driving force for everything, moving forward, like in your case, with freedom and, I'm assuming, a certain degree of authenticity as well.

00:40:37.465 --> 00:40:44.405
You know to be you, not who somebody else says is or should be you, and so that leads me to my next question.

00:40:44.405 --> 00:40:46.751
What, then, are some of your values now?

00:40:47.519 --> 00:40:53.644
Yeah, so freedom definitely still comes out as the number one value, and you know these, these might change.

00:40:53.644 --> 00:41:01.630
For me, uh, my values now at 41 are not the same as they were when I was 20, so I would say freedom still number one.

00:41:01.630 --> 00:41:11.688
Second to that, as a close second, is health, and that's because I really view health as supportive of and foundational to freedom.

00:41:11.688 --> 00:41:48.534
And beyond that connection, stability is very important to me, and sovereignty, I think, which is really really related to freedom, because it's not just about doing whatever you want when you want, it's really about being self governed, and so I think, with a high degree of freedom, there's also a lot of responsibility and sacrifice, but the point is that I get to choose what those responsibilities are and what those sacrifices are, instead of those being imposed on me by someone else.

00:41:49.121 --> 00:41:52.590
That was like the preeminent theme in Spider-Man 1.

00:41:52.590 --> 00:41:56.509
Yep Soon, as Uncle Ben went down, that's exactly what happened.

00:41:56.509 --> 00:41:57.824
Spider-man was like I got the whole city.

00:41:57.824 --> 00:41:59.550
I'm like wait, wait, wait, wait.

00:41:59.550 --> 00:42:02.489
Maybe I need to be a little bit more discerning in this process.

00:42:02.489 --> 00:42:10.014
But yeah, you have theoretically recreated the entire Spider-Man story in 30 minutes.

00:42:10.014 --> 00:42:21.688
I think there's so much power in being able to develop a degree of inquiry around ourselves for the sake of awareness or discernment and, like you said, I like sovereignty, that's a solid word.

00:42:21.688 --> 00:42:28.333
I think there's a little bit more ownership and accountability than just saying freedom, to sort of parallel the concept.

00:42:28.333 --> 00:42:32.885
But you know, tracy, for the sake of time, I really just have one other question for you.

00:42:32.885 --> 00:42:45.233
Despite, or maybe in spite of all of these things that you've gone through over the last four decades of your life, how do you view those things actually contributing or instigating your own self-worth?

00:42:45.840 --> 00:43:06.927
So all of those things, every experience, was absolutely necessary to get me to the point where I am today, and not only just for my own growth and development, but to be able to relate to other people and help others who have had similar experiences, who might be feeling stuck.

00:43:06.927 --> 00:43:09.708
And so it really is true.

00:43:09.708 --> 00:43:22.641
I mean, unless you've truly been through something, even if you're an empath, even if you're very intuitive, unless you've really some through something, even if you're an empath, even if you're very you know, intuitive, unless you've really walked through something, it can be hard to guide someone else through it.

00:43:22.641 --> 00:43:27.369
And so I think that I'm a better teacher for it.

00:43:28.090 --> 00:43:39.994
And I would say, even even the earliest things, you know, the really painful religious stuff, that kind of you know, I threw my own faith into a crisis for a number of decades.

00:43:39.994 --> 00:43:46.452
Really, that experience growing up in a cult really caused me to question everything.

00:43:46.452 --> 00:44:12.282
I bet served me well, especially in recent years, that when everyone kind of goes running towards a fear based ideology or there's brainwashing going on or a lot of collective fear, because I grew up in that and kind of had to navigate that as a kid I'm able to now step back and go, oh, whoa, no, no, no, that is not.

00:44:12.282 --> 00:44:14.664
You know, that's not for me, that's not happening.

00:44:14.664 --> 00:44:18.429
So I'm grateful for all of it.

00:44:19.010 --> 00:44:22.335
Well, if nobody's told you, I certainly haven't until now.

00:44:22.335 --> 00:44:27.201
Congratulations, I'm proud of the work that you've put together and the insight that you've gained.

00:44:27.201 --> 00:44:59.005
I think it's such a phenomenal accomplishment for anybody, but especially somebody that's so young, is so unaware, to get to where you're at now and not be overly critical and not be resentful and not be, I don't know, spiteful or hateful or any of these other more derogatory emotions that you could have had that you've turned it into something productive and progressive and positive it's, it's like this, this, you know, circular David Carradine type thing you've done, which is super cool.

00:44:59.005 --> 00:45:01.652
So I'm proud of you, congratulations.

00:45:02.280 --> 00:45:03.686
Thank you, I appreciate that.

00:45:03.880 --> 00:45:13.349
Yeah, absolutely Now saying that if anybody else wants to find out about your workbook, your website, maybe even become a client, I don't know.

00:45:13.349 --> 00:45:15.101
Just get in touch with you anything.

00:45:15.101 --> 00:45:18.050
Find out more about emotional freedom, tapping and techniques.

00:45:18.050 --> 00:45:19.422
Where do they go?

00:45:19.422 --> 00:45:20.543
How do people do that?

00:45:21.186 --> 00:45:22.429
So my website is tapoutburnoutcom.

00:45:22.429 --> 00:45:22.429
com//.

00:45:22.429 --> 00:45:22.668
com/ tapoutburnout.

00:45:22.668 --> 00:45:22.668
.

00:45:22.668 --> 00:45:26.885
com and I have a lot of resources on there.

00:45:26.885 --> 00:45:38.146
You can check out my free e-workbook and define those concepts that we were just talking about, and also happy to offer your listeners a discounted session rate.

00:45:38.146 --> 00:45:45.887
So for anyone who does wanna try doing a session, I've provided that link to you and that link is also in the workbook.

00:45:45.887 --> 00:45:58.713
Also offer 30 minute burnout strategy sessions if you just wanna chat, see if we're a good fit, and I'm happy to listen and to give value, even if you decide not to book a session.

00:45:58.713 --> 00:46:09.891
I love this work and I love meeting people and, you know just sharing my heart and, you know, really passionate about just helping people through that process.

00:46:11.442 --> 00:46:19.103
You know, some of the best athletes have coaches, Some of the best parents have friends, some of the best kids have support networks.

00:46:19.103 --> 00:46:21.766
I don't think it makes a difference who you are.

00:46:21.766 --> 00:46:26.670
It's very difficult to go through life or grow through life in a vacuum.

00:46:26.670 --> 00:46:33.135
And you know, raising kids may take a village, but theoretically everybody is somebody else's kid.

00:46:33.135 --> 00:46:37.206
So I think it counts just as much to be able to get some feedback.

00:46:37.206 --> 00:46:44.380
So I appreciate the fact that there's people out there, like you, that have a degree of awareness and you know discernment and inquiry and dignity to offer people.

00:46:44.380 --> 00:46:46.947
That's how you change the world, in my opinion.

00:46:46.947 --> 00:46:53.668
Don't get me wrong, clean water is important, but you know that's where it has to start as far as the human condition is concerned.

00:46:53.668 --> 00:46:58.195
So again, tracy, I appreciate your time coming on to talk, share your perspective.

00:46:58.195 --> 00:47:07.460
In fact, the one thing I have coming out of this conversation that I wish it went differently is that we had more time to keep talking, and we don't.

00:47:07.460 --> 00:47:10.188
So if you want to come back, get in touch with our producer.

00:47:10.188 --> 00:47:15.449
I'm totally down to have you back on the show, but in the meantime, thank you for the opportunity.

00:47:15.449 --> 00:47:16.141
I appreciate it.

00:47:16.141 --> 00:47:34.746
Thank you, of course, so, to everybody that tuned in, thank you for listening, thank you for coming back to the show, supporting the show, supporting our topics and, frankly, if it weren't for you guys coming in and listening to all of these conversations and bettering the world as global ambassadors for self-worth, I'm not entirely sure where we would be.

00:47:34.746 --> 00:47:36.387
World as global ambassadors for self-worth, I'm not entirely sure where we would be.

00:47:36.387 --> 00:47:44.456
But I want to say thank you to you guys for your time, for your talent, for your emails, for your comments online and, obviously, for all of your advice along this process.

00:47:45.197 --> 00:47:52.974
To hear more about our show, you can always stop in at transactingvaluepodcastcom and listen to all of our conversations there for free.

00:47:52.974 --> 00:47:58.072
Now you can also go to jdampodcastnetworkcom.

00:47:58.072 --> 00:48:08.813
You can not only listen to our show, but also a host of other podcasts and shows that will give you an opportunity to build depth and resonance in your perspective and for other people.

00:48:08.813 --> 00:48:12.831
Why do we choose stressful positions over others?

00:48:12.831 --> 00:48:22.934
Why is it that we tend to put duty and honor and sacrifice and service over our families, sometimes more out of a seeming necessity than even a desire?

00:48:22.934 --> 00:48:37.393
That's what we talk about, and all of the shows on the podcast network cover and talk about different perspectives, different attributes, different characteristics, where you can identify with somebody and with some of them, as you go around and grow through life together.

00:48:38.097 --> 00:48:40.141
Thank you to our show partners and folks.

00:48:40.141 --> 00:48:44.913
Thank you for tuning in and appreciating our value as we all grow through life together.

00:48:44.913 --> 00:48:53.449
To check out our other conversations, merchandise or even to contribute through feedback follows time, money or talent and let us know what you think of the show.

00:48:53.449 --> 00:48:57.728
Please reach out on our website, transactingvaluepodcastcom.

00:48:57.728 --> 00:49:05.172
We stream new episodes every Monday at 9 am Eastern Standard Time through all of your favorite podcasting platforms and we'll meet you there.

00:49:05.172 --> 00:49:08.445
Until next time, that was Transacting Value.