The Transformative Power of Faith and Acceptance with Uncle Jimmy

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Welcome to Transacting Value, where we talk about practical applications for personal values when dealing with each other and even within ourselves.

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Where we foster a podcast listening experience that lets you hear the power of a value system for managing burnout, establishing boundaries and finding belonging.

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My name is Josh Porthouse, I'm your host and we are your people.

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This is why values still hold value.

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This is Transacting Value.

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You know, I think I try to accept people as they are, not as I want them to be, and when I do that, my life is a lot more peaceful, a lot more joyful.

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Today on Transacting Value.

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What role does faith have in rejuvenation, peace or even starting over?

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There's so many opportunities in life to look at the wave pounding down on whatever position we're in or dragging us down deeper into whatever hole we feel like we're in, but what do you do when your own sense of self is starting to lack?

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Now, this particular conversation.

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Our next contributor is James Kuszkowski, and he's an author.

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He was an airman, more recently a member of Alcoholics Anonymous and, 15 years ago, a massive stroke victim.

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So I'm honored to have him here in this conversation and we're going to find out.

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So, without further ado, I'm Porter, I'm your host, and this is Transacting Value, Jim, how you doing.

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Doing good.

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Josh, Thanks for having me on the show today.

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Absolutely.

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I appreciate you taking some time, and you know what I'm really looking forward to hearing about your perspective, because I've only been in your shoes as it applies to military service.

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Outside of that, I have no idea what it's like to go through some of the lows and some of the high points and some of the recovery and coping mechanisms that you've had to deal with from a multitude of issues actually.

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So how about we just start here for a minute?

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Take the next couple minutes.

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Who are you?

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Let's just introduce yourself.

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Where are you from?

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You know what sort of things are shaping your perspective on life.

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My name is James Kuzikowski, a nickname called Jimmy, and a lot of the younger kids in my area call me Uncle Jimmy.

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I'm known as Uncle Jimmy in town a lot and on various shows that I get on on podcast they identify me as Uncle Jimmy.

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But I am a Roman Catholic by faith, a veteran of the United States Air Force, honorable discharge, four years of service, and a grateful, sober member of the fine fellowship of men and women who absolutely insist on enjoying life.

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That would be the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous.

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I try to remain anonymous, but it's very difficult to do so in this type of atmosphere.

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Yeah, I imagine so that like, say, if somebody is talking up AA in like the film industry, and then all of a sudden you see them somewhere, they're drinking, you know, getting drunk, and that would maybe bring a bad rap, a bad name or bad you know.

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It wouldn't be good for the fellowship picture.

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Yeah.

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Well now, on the other hand too, I think what's kind of cool about anonymity is it helps build inclusivity.

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because you're not favoring Not only that, but it also keeps a man humble.

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Yeah, absolutely.

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Believe it or not.

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I try to get off center stage as much as possible, but in trying to promote a book you have to get on center stage to be able to promote that book.

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You know, Sure what's your book called.

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It is Thy Will Be Done and the subtitle is Enjoy the Thrill of True Joy and Happiness.

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It's available on Amazon Prime.

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Selling for $12.95 is the normal retail value of a retail sale.

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I've seen it as low as $7.87.

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I've seen it the other day at $9.89.

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But it's pretty inexpensive.

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A lot of gems, a lot of good stuff, A lot of scripture quotations and quotes of the saints, and it's really about pathways of suggesting to people how they could turn their will and their life over to the understanding of God as they understand God.

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Wait, I'm sorry.

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What do you mean, as they understand God.

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Everyone has their own understanding of God, especially in the Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous.

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Some understand God as the creator.

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Some will understand God as the creator.

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Some will understand God as their provider.

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And there is, unfortunately, some people who don't believe in that God.

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I am not one of them, but I accept people as they come to me, not as I want them to be.

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You know, I think I try to accept people as they are, not as I want them to be, and when I do that, my life is a lot more peaceful, a lot more joyful I imagine it is and I come into a lot more friendships that way.

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Oh sure, yeah, attracting bees with honey, I think, is the phrase there.

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And there's a lot of cool things that I imagine you're able to experience meeting people in organizations like AA, or even just in recovery, not from alcohol necessarily, but physically.

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You mentioned, before we hit record, that you had a stroke.

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You said 15 years ago yeah, in 2009.

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My father died in June 6, 2009.

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In June 6, 2009,.

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That weekend, I had a stroke.

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Six months later, my mother passed Whoa.

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Wow, wow.

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They were older, so I'm pretty sure that they're enjoying their heavenly reward right now.

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Oh sure, sure, I imagine they are as well.

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But all of that to happen, you know, circumstantially around the same time period.

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In 2009.

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Yeah, within a year, within six months, yeah, yeah.

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How did you manage, how did you work through that?

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What worked for you?

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That's a lot.

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Yeah, I got to tell you the only way that I could have possibly worked through that is what my relationship with God, god the creator, but what I have, I just stayed close to God and I try to turn my will and my life over to God, as I understand him.

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May I say a prayer?

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please so one of the prayers that I pray, that I honestly try to adhere to, is my creator.

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I offer myself to you without any reservations or conditions and I commit myself entirely to your will for me.

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Grant me knowledge of your will for me, absolute conformity to your will for me and absolute childlike trust in your divine providence.

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Amen.

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I pray that religiously, morning, noon and night.

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And you know, our minds are a wonderful thing.

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Whatever we feed our subconscious mind is what attracts into the mind, and there's a book that I read once and I'm still reading it, called think and grow rich, by napoleon hill I'm familiar did you ever read that?

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I have yeah yeah, I tell you it's a book that I can't put down.

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I love it.

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I keep on I quote it often and I keep on going back to it, reading it and studying it, and reading it and studying it, and I don't know why I mentioned that.

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But he states that the mind is a fertile garden and whatever you put in that fertile garden is going to grow.

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And whatever you put in that fertile garden is going to grow, and negative things will grow just as surely as positive things will.

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Absolutely so I try to feed my mind with nothing but positive emotions like love, happiness, goodwill for other men.

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Jim, do you think that was always the case, or has that been in the last 15, 20 years, because people aren't normally like this?

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That has always been the case actually, really.

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Yeah, that has been always the case for me.

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You know, even in my drinking days I was called a happy-go-lucky drunk, but there came to a point in time where I just got sick and tired of being sick and tired and I wanted to get help, and so that's when I called an old friend who I met him of all places.

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It was in a bar but he was in.

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AA and he was going to meetings and you know I could tell like there was a big difference in him.

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So six, we're back on the six months thing.

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Again six months.

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I called him up and said hey, Tom, I called you from work.

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Are you still going to that thing?

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He said that thing Because I didn't want to say to him in front of people are you going to that AA?

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Still, how could I ever let other people know I was thinking about going to AA?

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Kicked me up.

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I started thinking about going to AA.

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Right, it picked me up.

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I started going.

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I just love the meetings.

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So much laughter and good things.

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There's so much fun about it all that it just keeps me going back.

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You still go, yeah, and I tell you it's just by being with people who have your same difficulty you're going to leave that meeting with a good feeling.

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Yeah, there's something to be said for surrounding yourself with like-minded people right in a lot of different circumstances and a lot of different scenarios, but I think what gets overlooked is surrounding yourself with people that have had similar struggles, that are also willing to change.

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When you're with people with the same illness, it's very therapeutic.

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All right, folks sit tight, We'll be right back on Transacting Value.

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When you're with people of the same illness, it's very therapeutic to be in the same room and same setting as people who are sharing your struggles and to be able to give you support and for you to give them support.

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You know it's a two way street.

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Well, I think that's the catch right.

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Everybody at least has to be willing to help others.

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Yeah.

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Yeah, this is not only in recovery, but we help ourselves by helping others.

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This is not only in recovery, but we help ourselves by helping others.

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I'm a firm believer that I get everything I want in life by first helping other people get what they want.

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I like that.

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I like that.

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Is that something that you think held true for you in the Air Force?

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Because in the Marine Corps I got yelled at a lot for helping other people before I took care of my own thing.

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I didn't know.

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I didn't know that I didn't.

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I didn't even have any of this stuff when I was in the air force.

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Oh no, as far as I did, I did not yet have the thing to grow rich book.

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I didn't.

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I wasn't a good Christian.

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When I was in the air force, I was.

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I was a drunk.

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I was a drinker really, yeah, a drinker really, yeah.

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I mean, I served on everybody, but I, you know, I did a lot of drinking, and when you do a lot of drinking, you do a lot of you know things that you wouldn't do when you're not drinking oh sure, well, there's that.

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But I think everybody in their 20s is kind of dumb.

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So you know, you live and learn, I suppose because you were what 18 when you joined yeah, I was 19 when I joined okay, so, yeah, right in the window, among the average, yeah, okay.

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So then, since then, what has your life been like?

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What have you done a career or you know, what did you spend your time doing?

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yeah, when I got out of the air force in 84, things were the economy of the united states wasn't very good.

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So I struggled with jobs like cutting grass and cleaning banks and you know, whatever I could get my hands on.

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So I really didn't have a quote unquote job.

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But I went to college for computer programming but everywhere I turned no experience, no experience, no experience.

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I couldn't get hired in that profession.

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So what I ended up doing is I got hired as a computer salesperson in a computer store that sold computers to the public and then I got hired by a company called Snyder Distributing which sold electronics to stores across the country.

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So I did that telemarketing job for about 15 years.

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And then that led to another position from the same family who started a Bulldog Security which was an alarm and car starter company, and so I was the international sales contact for that.

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So I started selling to places like down into Mexico and Columbia and England and you know, all over the world, and it was a lot of fun.

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But it was a lot of work and a lot of time.

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So I left that place to start my own lawn care and landscaping sort of business, and so I did that for about 10 years, up to the time of my stroke, and then when my stroke happened I couldn't work anymore.

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So I am what I consider a devout Roman Catholic.

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So I had a good friend, priest, who would visit me every day, every day, and I would go to confession.

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The sacrament of confession every day, every day, and I would go to confession, the sacrament of confession, with him, every day.

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He kept on suggesting to me you ought to write a book, because all these things you're saying to me, I, you know people got to know about this stuff.

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So I started to do that and the book took me about 10 years to get all together written.

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And the book took me about 10 years to get all together written.

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By one hand you can't really do a lot of typing, but I tell you I would write maybe a sentence or a paragraph a day and then say, okay, I'm done, and then I would go to sleep.

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Then I would think, oh, that's what I should write on that.

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I'd get up and I'd turn my computer on and then I'd go write another sentence or two, yeah, and I'd go back to bed and the same thing.

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I would start thinking, oh, yeah, I've got it.

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Yeah, I've got it.

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And that went on for about 10 years and finally I got the book published by Christian Faith Publishing.

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God bless them.

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Do you think mentally, I mean obviously, over 10 years you became a different person, you grew, you matured, your perspective especially.

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But do you think if you were able to write it within a year, or without taking so long to do it, it would have turned out the same?

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Oh, absolutely not.

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I think that God is in control, no matter how much.

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I think that I'm in control ever.

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God's got the stick and that's the way it is, and I think that he has guided me along to write this book, because I got to tell you it's really God's book, not mine.

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I would say 70% of the book is a post on sacred scripture.

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The book is a post on sacred scripture.

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Another 30% is either things I heard from someone who was, you know, spiritual or religious, or a lot of quotes from the saints.

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What role do you think and maybe this is more so, I was.

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I was raised Roman Catholic up into high school, and then we changed schools.

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We went to a Southern Baptist high school and then I ended up going to a private Catholic university.

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Now I'm curious what role do you see, I guess, sainthood having today, Because it's not revered like it was over the last hundreds of years, it's not even as widely discussed.

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In fact, I think it's more widely misunderstood.

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What role do you see?

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sainthood having today.

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I don't know.

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I have my favorite saints.

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One is St Francis of Assisi, of course one is.

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The other is St James, because my name is James, sure Namesake, and I was named after St James.

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That's why I was named James.

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Yes, yeah, okay, Okay.

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And then why St Francis?

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Oh, because I just love his prayer that Lord, grant me his serenity.

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I mean, I forget his prayer Make me an instrument of your peace.

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Where there is hatred, let me show love.

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And then he talks about let me take people as they come to me, not as I would have them be.

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Yeah, and you know, I think, just as a human at any age, that is probably one of the hardest lessons to learn to figure out a way to overcome your own biases, gain clarity on people and empathy for people.

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And I can only imagine that it's an exercise and I don't know, I've never been to AA, but I can only imagine it's an exercise that you have to work.

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One thing that I really try to do is I try to eliminate all my judgments of others, and there's a lot of things to be judgmental about.

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You know what you look like, what religion you are, what school you go to, whatever.

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You know what color hair you have or do you have any hair how old you are.

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You know I can come up with all kinds of things to judge people about.

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But if I can eliminate my judgment of others, then I'm a much more peaceful and happy person.

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How do you do that?

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You just ask God for help.

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Yeah, asking for help is a learned skill in itself, I think.

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Talk to God like it's just right there with you and you're like a normal person.

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I mean, he's not a normal person, but he is a person and you can't talk to him.

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So things I do, I just say God, you know I know this ain't right, just me thinking this way.

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So remove my judgmental thinking about this person and let me go up to him and, you know, be friendly.

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When I see someone that I don't like what he says or I don't like the way he looks, I have looks, I have a thing in my mind that I, that's a man that I got to go meet.

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Oh, interesting, and for what purpose?

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Because when I meet the people that I don't like, I find out that I pretty much like him but, I have to meet him first.

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Alrighty, folks sit tight and we'll be right back on Transacting Value.

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Alrighty folks, if you're looking for more perspective and more podcasts, you can check out Transacting Value on Reads Across America Radio.

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Listen in on iHeartRadio, odyssey and TuneIn.

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Because when I meet the people that I don't like, I find out that I pretty much like them.

00:19:37.192 --> 00:19:38.416
But I have to meet them first.

00:19:38.978 --> 00:19:42.356
Yeah, yeah, and get past some visual bias.

00:19:42.356 --> 00:19:51.296
Hmm, yeah, that's an interesting thought because that doesn't happen, or at least it's not talked about, if it does happen at all just giving people a chance.

00:19:51.296 --> 00:20:18.863
There is something that is an interesting point given your perspective that I want to talk about a little bit, though One of the things we cover on this show pretty often almost every conversation actually is, in a certain, I guess, spiritual sense, morality, but obviously a reliance on value systems and character development for the sake of, you know, self-awareness or self-worth, and you've been attributing this a lot to empathy for other people.

00:20:18.863 --> 00:20:41.461
But this idea that morality can be subjective and not explicitly rooted in the Bible or have a solid foundation in whatever religious faith people ascribe to, do you see that as possible, where morality can be subjective, or do you see it as necessary to have a stable foundation?

00:20:41.589 --> 00:20:42.291
I really do.

00:20:42.291 --> 00:20:49.940
I think down deep inside everybody that they know the difference between what is right and what is wrong, and what is good and what is bad.

00:20:50.770 --> 00:20:53.175
And what about coping mechanisms, though?

00:20:53.175 --> 00:21:02.839
I mean, obviously you have mentioned alcohol was your drug of choice a while ago In life I mean a while ago and so it's not like it was doing you any good though.

00:21:02.839 --> 00:21:05.576
So actions may be good, not good.

00:21:05.576 --> 00:21:15.078
Good and evil, good and bad, whatever, ok, but what about strategies that we decide as people, things we rely on as people to help get us through these deep spots, these dark spots?

00:21:15.078 --> 00:21:20.957
Is that also innate where, where we know better, or do you think that's something we learn as we grow?

00:21:21.690 --> 00:21:25.601
Something we learn as we grow, I think, is to cope with prayer.

00:21:25.601 --> 00:21:28.497
Prayer is a good coping skill.

00:21:28.497 --> 00:21:35.333
Prayer is what unites me to God and allows me to be guided by God's ways.

00:21:35.333 --> 00:21:38.654
Whether it's in scripture or not, you know it's.

00:21:38.654 --> 00:21:40.516
I know what is right and wrong.

00:21:40.516 --> 00:21:43.576
I know what is good and bad down deep inside my heart.

00:21:43.576 --> 00:21:45.678
I don't need no one to teach me about that.

00:21:46.419 --> 00:21:49.640
Did you pray when you were younger, as a kid or as an airman?

00:21:49.640 --> 00:21:49.839
I?

00:21:49.859 --> 00:21:50.019
did.

00:21:50.019 --> 00:21:52.761
I did with my, you know, with my mother and father.

00:21:52.761 --> 00:21:57.604
We would, before I go to bed, we would pray and we would go to being a Catholic.

00:21:57.604 --> 00:22:05.228
We would go to Mass in the morning and growing up in a Catholic grade school, we went to Mass every day.

00:22:05.228 --> 00:22:10.160
Yeah, so did we, and in the school we prayed the rosary every day.

00:22:12.750 --> 00:22:32.419
That was back in the 60s, yeah, so elementary school for me was in the early 90s, but when we were there we would go to Mass Wednesdays I think it was Wednesday mornings or Wednesday and Friday mornings, and then obviously Sundays was the normal sort of liturgical day for everybody, but yeah, and then we would have confession.

00:22:32.419 --> 00:22:42.436
We would actually all sacraments went through and sort of aligned with the school year on different holidays or different opportunities, given the curriculum and everything revolved around the church.

00:22:42.436 --> 00:22:43.921
When we were in elementary school.

00:22:44.230 --> 00:22:45.416
I just love the mass.

00:22:45.416 --> 00:22:50.494
I can't live without it.

00:22:50.494 --> 00:23:07.597
Today, after the Mass we usually have a little get-together down in the church basement or in the cafeteria or something like that, and you know, get to talk and discuss how other people are, how they're doing, and you know, a lot of laughter, and laughter is good medicine, very best.

00:23:08.119 --> 00:23:09.381
Absolutely yeah.

00:23:09.381 --> 00:23:25.018
Church, I think, or a church setting, is, you know, one of the earliest marketplaces, and so people go to worship and then, when events are over or festivities are over, whatever the circumstance, is just like people playing golf.

00:23:25.018 --> 00:23:35.175
Now you know, eventually people talk business and network and make opportunities, and then you get social sciences coming out of religion, or at least religious affairs and events.

00:23:35.175 --> 00:23:37.902
Do you see that still being as prevalent today?

00:23:38.549 --> 00:23:40.076
I see, I think I agree with you.

00:23:40.076 --> 00:23:48.557
I think that religion has a certain social instinct, social something, built into it.

00:23:48.557 --> 00:23:53.642
It doesn't have to be, but I do see that in my circumstances.

00:23:53.642 --> 00:23:59.032
I see that a lot of people have come up to me and said, oh, I bought your book, you know.

00:23:59.032 --> 00:24:03.082
Then we get talking and next thing, I know you're buying me lunch.

00:24:03.082 --> 00:24:12.875
But from from going to uh mass all the time, I've uh, my best friend has become a 92 year old female woman who's pretty healthy.

00:24:13.035 --> 00:24:26.613
She invited me over for a christmas dinner last christmas uh-huh and she was 91 at the time and she was up and serving everybody around the table and walking around and getting being busy.

00:24:26.613 --> 00:24:39.272
You know, it was just a one or two to behold, I tell you, 91 is still, still at it yeah, that is impressive, that is impressive now you are I can't imagine I'm going to be living till 90.

00:24:39.272 --> 00:24:43.702
I'm 63 now and I can't imagine me having another 30 years.

00:24:44.411 --> 00:24:49.951
Well, you know if it's any you know, when you have a stroke, you just take so much energy out of you, so much.

00:24:49.951 --> 00:24:52.574
It's not that I don't want to do anything, it's's just.

00:24:52.574 --> 00:24:55.336
It's just I don't have the energy for it anymore.

00:24:55.617 --> 00:25:07.108
Yeah, I imagine it would change you, but still saying that over the last let's call it 50 years, 55 years, maybe from what you remember, excluding, you know, being a really young kid.

00:25:07.108 --> 00:25:17.633
Obviously you've seen a lot happen in the world though, or even in the U S, I guess, like you mentioned in the eighties and then moving through into now, just schooling.

00:25:17.633 --> 00:25:19.257
Academics have changed.

00:25:19.257 --> 00:25:20.881
What we teach, how we teach, has changed.

00:25:20.881 --> 00:25:33.858
Have you seen a drastic difference in the types of people or the perspectives of people coming out of school, since religion has basically been removed from public schooling in the States?

00:25:34.540 --> 00:25:45.394
When I was a young boy, I couldn't sit at the same table with older people, with my parents, you know, with my aunts or uncles, unless I was asked.

00:25:45.394 --> 00:25:55.417
Now you know that's how much respect that you had to give your mother and father and the elder people around you.

00:25:55.417 --> 00:25:56.781
Sure, a little kid's table.

00:25:56.781 --> 00:26:04.736
I don't really see that respect anymore amongst the younger generations now Do you think it's shown differently?

00:26:05.049 --> 00:26:08.540
No, no, I don't think it's the same, even in the last 30 years that I remember.

00:26:08.540 --> 00:26:17.739
But is it maybe the same deference or degree of respect just portrayed differently, or do you think it's actually changed?

00:26:18.309 --> 00:26:20.376
I think, perhaps, that it's non-existent.

00:26:21.078 --> 00:26:24.694
Oh really, that's a strong way to put it, based on what?

00:26:26.973 --> 00:26:30.321
I don't think they're taught to respect their older people.

00:26:31.210 --> 00:26:40.365
So if schools have changed and presenting these types of ideals have changed, how do we reinvigorate that?

00:26:40.365 --> 00:26:45.441
We can't just walk around with hamburger signs and try to convince people to read them.

00:26:45.441 --> 00:26:46.542
You know, and treat people better.

00:26:47.250 --> 00:26:50.240
I think, as always, you do it in the home.

00:26:50.240 --> 00:26:54.400
That's the best place to teach children how to pray.

00:26:54.400 --> 00:26:59.162
That's the best place to teach children how they should treat their elders is in the home.

00:26:59.162 --> 00:27:00.373
It all starts in the home.

00:27:00.973 --> 00:27:01.675
I think it should.

00:27:01.675 --> 00:27:02.778
I don't know that it does.

00:27:02.778 --> 00:27:03.520
I agree with you.

00:27:03.520 --> 00:27:19.096
Yeah, now also, you know, not for nothing here, but but parents work, dual income, households, military, obviously all sorts of circumstantial reasons why people aren't as able to raise their kids like they did decades ago.

00:27:19.096 --> 00:27:29.775
Right, just, circumstances have changed over the years, things that, like your book, that happen to be in people's homes, this podcast that reaches people, or YouTube channels or whatever it is.

00:27:29.775 --> 00:27:55.872
I think we can still get messages to people through broadcast media into people's homes, in the same way that a lot of news stories have corrupted them over the decades and changed things where you know what people talk about is war and famine and politics and things that don't necessarily need to, I don't know concern kids and things that don't necessarily need to, I don't know concern kids, and along those lines the Internet is.

00:27:55.892 --> 00:27:57.353
What a blessing it has been.

00:27:57.353 --> 00:28:04.259
Or it could have been a curse too, I mean, it can be used for real good or it can be used for real bad.

00:28:04.881 --> 00:28:08.932
Yeah, yeah, but who's responsible for interpreting that?

00:28:08.932 --> 00:28:21.148
I mean, now, look at it, most kids, at least most kids, my son's generation are outpacing and outcycling me and most of my generation in terms of what the internet can do and what's out there and what's available.

00:28:21.148 --> 00:28:25.487
I learned things from him, not the other way around, and I think that's new.

00:28:25.487 --> 00:28:29.978
I think that's a new thing in human history as far as I'm aware.

00:28:30.746 --> 00:28:37.493
You can see a little six or seven-year-old boy with a cell phone and he can go through that thing like nothing.

00:28:39.807 --> 00:28:58.972
Yeah, and a lot of that is tricky now to try to figure out ways to communicate through that, because by the time I interpret how to deal with some particular issue or threat or catalyst of whatever it is digitally, he's already three pages beyond that, three steps beyond that, and he's figured out he cares or doesn't care anyway.

00:28:59.884 --> 00:29:02.555
So I used to think I'm not smart enough for a smartphone.

00:29:04.308 --> 00:29:05.854
Yeah, it is.

00:29:05.854 --> 00:29:25.230
It's interesting, you know, we've gone, like I said, just in the last 30 years alone, we've gone from thinking we had all the answers, or I guess, rather thinking we had all the questions, not knowing where to find the answers, learning to read, looking up encyclopedias, doing whatever we had to do to now theoretically having all the answers and not knowing any of the questions.

00:29:25.230 --> 00:29:26.153
Yeah.

00:29:26.924 --> 00:29:31.993
Like back when we were young, we had to go to the store to buy an album.

00:29:31.993 --> 00:29:32.675
Yeah.

00:29:32.675 --> 00:29:39.497
Now all you got to do is punch in the name of the song on Google and boom, you have it.

00:29:41.605 --> 00:29:44.154
All right, folks, sit tight and we'll be right back on Transacting Value.

00:29:50.787 --> 00:29:53.516
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00:29:53.516 --> 00:30:03.637
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00:30:21.178 --> 00:30:28.407
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00:30:31.813 --> 00:30:35.986
gov or talk with your primary care provider.

00:30:46.696 --> 00:30:50.622
Back when we were young, we had to go to the store to buy an album.

00:30:50.622 --> 00:30:51.405
Yeah.

00:30:51.405 --> 00:30:59.042
Now all you got to do is punch in the name of a song on Google and boom, you have it.

00:30:59.545 --> 00:31:03.749
Yeah, it's like little portable jukeboxes you can just scroll through and you have it.

00:31:04.431 --> 00:31:05.071
They really are.

00:31:05.512 --> 00:31:07.238
Yeah, so I'm curious.

00:31:07.238 --> 00:31:10.612
We talked about your upbringing a little bit and, obviously, how times have changed.

00:31:10.612 --> 00:31:20.111
But to dive into you a little bit more deeply, I guess answer as vulnerably as you like, but this is a segment of the show called Developing.

00:31:20.111 --> 00:31:20.612
Character.

00:31:20.612 --> 00:31:21.874
So it's two questions.

00:31:21.874 --> 00:31:32.876
Both, obviously, are entirely your perspective, as vulnerable as you want to be, but I'm curious what were some of the values that you were raised on, or at least that you remember being brought up around?

00:31:34.065 --> 00:31:36.592
values that you were raised on, or at least that you remember being brought up around.

00:31:36.592 --> 00:31:40.743
Well, being raised in a catholic atmosphere, I was raised in the uh to believe in god, god almighty.

00:31:40.743 --> 00:31:47.644
My father always used to address him as, and he made a point of letting us know that god is all good all the time.

00:31:47.644 --> 00:31:52.688
Even when you think he's not doing good, he he's good then most of the time.

00:31:52.688 --> 00:31:54.469
That's like something.

00:31:54.469 --> 00:31:59.092
When my stroke happened, I got kind of real despondent there for the first few days.

00:31:59.092 --> 00:32:16.942
The first few days of my stroke was the darkest hours of my life and God seemed at that time non-existent, and I remember sharing that with the priest that would visit me and he told me that when God seems distant and not there, that is when he is most near.

00:32:16.942 --> 00:32:24.873
I don't quite grab that all right now still, but that's what he said and I'm still trying to grab what he said there.

00:32:25.545 --> 00:32:28.471
Yeah, that's an interesting point that there's.

00:32:28.471 --> 00:32:33.334
We've had a few conversations on the show that I think are going to corroborate this point pretty well.

00:32:33.334 --> 00:32:43.769
I mean the point you just made that there are so many opportunities for us to feel like we're on our own, everything is extremely futile.

00:32:43.769 --> 00:32:46.978
We're, you know whatever lonely, depressed.

00:32:46.978 --> 00:32:54.512
We get anxious, we get maybe suicidal or really hit bottom low points maybe suicidal or really hit bottom low points.

00:32:54.532 --> 00:32:55.473
I always tell people.

00:32:55.473 --> 00:33:01.058
I always tell people when one window of opportunity shuts, two more somewhere in the world are open.

00:33:01.619 --> 00:33:03.040
That's exactly what I was getting at.

00:33:03.040 --> 00:33:17.853
Yeah, that sometimes we just need to realize that this is the first point in our lives when we're able to take us at our raw, most degraded, vulnerable selves, because we're actually ready spiritually to level up.

00:33:17.853 --> 00:33:19.958
We just didn't know it until then.

00:33:19.958 --> 00:33:35.351
And so I think what's cool and my aunt says this sometimes too, but I think what's cool to the point she just brought up is when you had your stroke for those first couple of days and I'm loosely paraphrasing what she explains but when you had your stroke for those first couple of days, you feeling like why would this happen to me?

00:33:35.351 --> 00:33:47.602
And any degree of acceptance that you totally lost in grief, that you had to process through, may have been the opportunity, the catalyst to get you to become the person you are now, because you weren't going to do it on your own.

00:33:47.602 --> 00:33:50.144
You know what I mean, and you just needed a kick to get there.

00:33:50.704 --> 00:33:52.290
Feeding off of that a little bit.

00:33:52.290 --> 00:33:52.732
Yeah.

00:33:52.732 --> 00:33:55.994
I read once that you know why does this happen to me?

00:33:55.994 --> 00:33:57.411
Why, why, why me God?

00:33:57.411 --> 00:34:11.974
I read once that if we could see all the crosses piled up at the same time, all the crosses of the whole world piled up at the same time, we would beg for the one that was already given to us.

00:34:11.974 --> 00:34:15.284
We would beg for the one that was already given to us, we would beg for the one that is ours.

00:34:15.626 --> 00:34:23.695
God chooses our crosses so selectively and carefully from eternity that he knows well what we can handle and what we can't handle.

00:34:23.695 --> 00:34:31.675
There's a saying that God will not give you more than you can handle, and sometimes I just wish he didn't have so much confidence in me.

00:34:34.565 --> 00:34:39.878
Do you think you would have become the same person that you are today had you not had your stroke?

00:34:40.744 --> 00:34:49.920
You know, it seems like to me that the stroke that I had was a part of my life, that I was just supposed to have.

00:34:49.920 --> 00:34:57.432
It's become a part of me and living, living with the effects of stroke is just as natural as breathing air.

00:34:57.432 --> 00:35:03.260
Now, after after a while you know I can't walk without a cane, but it does still.

00:35:03.260 --> 00:35:08.666
It's just like it's for me after 15 years of doing it.

00:35:08.666 --> 00:35:10.251
It's, it's natural and it just part of life.

00:35:10.251 --> 00:35:12.456
So accept it and move on.

00:35:12.844 --> 00:35:14.536
A lot of those opportunities, I think, are what define our part of life.

00:35:14.536 --> 00:35:14.550
So accept it and move on.

00:35:14.550 --> 00:35:21.496
A lot of those opportunities, I think, are what define our strength of character, or maybe what refine our strength of character over time.

00:35:21.496 --> 00:35:27.429
You know different challenges that put us on a different path than what we had intended, so to speak, and so I'm curious.

00:35:27.429 --> 00:35:44.369
My second question here for you, in this particular segment, you had mentioned some of these values that you were raised on from your father, but since then you've had decades of life experience and all sorts of things obviously thrown your way that you've had to process, and so what are some of the values that you stand on now?

00:35:45.010 --> 00:35:57.807
The most important thing for me is prayer, that I have got to have that connection with God and I have to walk with him and all my thoughts, words and ways, which I don't always do real good, but I try.

00:35:57.807 --> 00:35:59.253
That's the key word.

00:35:59.253 --> 00:36:02.068
I try as long as I'm trying.

00:36:02.068 --> 00:36:13.025
God looks at that as good, as good in that person, so he blesses him beyond what we want ourselves, how we want ourselves to be blessed.

00:36:13.025 --> 00:36:14.947
It stresses him beyond how we want ourselves to be blessed.

00:36:14.947 --> 00:36:37.800
If I let God bless me in the way that he, he or she or, I think, the male if I let God bless me the way he wants to bless me, rather than clinging on to my own limited desires, I think infinite goodness can do a lot better for me than what I want for life myself.

00:36:37.800 --> 00:36:40.043
So I try not to pray for things.

00:36:46.333 --> 00:36:48.724
I try for God, whatever your will is, let that happen to me.

00:36:48.724 --> 00:36:53.385
Have you found that to bring contentment or fulfillment, or does it bring uncertainty and confusion?

00:36:53.385 --> 00:36:54.947
Which is the bigger scale for?

00:36:54.967 --> 00:36:55.027
you.

00:36:55.027 --> 00:37:05.965
I think it brings contentment and so far that when I can begin to have a childlike trust in god's providence, that I don't have to worry about how much money I'm going to be making.

00:37:05.965 --> 00:37:10.253
You know, the money just comes when it's needed interesting.

00:37:10.833 --> 00:37:21.193
That perspective, I think, is extremely undervalued and extremely underrated, because, yeah, everybody's chasing money, everybody's their own business.

00:37:21.233 --> 00:37:32.510
Now, in addition, in addition to my religious beliefs, you know I like all kinds of spiritualities and I I'm open-minded to other philosophies, such as the law of attraction.

00:37:32.510 --> 00:37:39.952
Of course, reading the book Think and Grow Rich, he talks about that a lot and you're familiar with Wayne Dyer probably.

00:37:40.635 --> 00:37:41.257
Wayne Dyer?

00:37:41.945 --> 00:37:44.492
Yeah, he's a deceased now, Dr Wayne Dyer.

00:37:44.492 --> 00:37:45.315
I'm not.

00:37:45.925 --> 00:37:55.201
He was real high on real good at like manifesting your desires and then the manifestation area Okay, good at like manifesting your desires and then the manifestation area okay.

00:37:55.201 --> 00:37:59.596
And the power of, uh, repetition of like affirmations and stuff like this.

00:37:59.596 --> 00:38:20.159
Sure, I, I do have my own affirmations that I say on a nightly, daily basis and I do say, uh, my definite major purpose that Napoleon Hill talked about in his book, which I, you know you're supposed to read it morning, noon and night, three times a day, and I am faithful to that.

00:38:20.159 --> 00:38:24.032
But you know that's not my God, my God, god is my God.

00:38:24.032 --> 00:38:28.771
And the end result is, you know, I plan, but I don't plan the outcomes.

00:38:28.771 --> 00:38:31.413
Right, results are God's business, not mine.

00:38:32.117 --> 00:38:35.349
Sure, sure you got to steer, it's just the road happens to be paved.

00:38:35.349 --> 00:38:36.373
Yeah, I'm with you.

00:38:36.373 --> 00:38:43.773
So for the sake of time, Jim, I do have another question for you and this, I don't know, might be kind of loaded for you.

00:38:43.773 --> 00:39:11.898
But all of these experiences that you've had, from how you were raised, growing up with your parents in your household, through schooling, through the Air Force, obviously different careers, you've had adventures you followed on your own accord, your faith, all these other experiences, and then in your book and your stroke, how have all of these things actually contributed to your sense of self or instigated your own self-worth?

00:39:11.898 --> 00:39:13.061
Do you think to?

00:39:13.081 --> 00:39:14.762
your sense of self or instigated your own self-worth?

00:39:14.762 --> 00:39:15.264
Do you think?

00:39:15.264 --> 00:39:22.625
I think that you know every moment of my life has contributed to who I am today?

00:39:22.625 --> 00:39:40.436
There's a, there's a some that was right, or I heard it from someone that is everything that passed through my conscious mind and sent to my subconscious mind is stored in my, in my memory, somewhere, so, and just when we need it is when we're able to recall it and remember it.

00:39:40.436 --> 00:39:50.634
But I think that everything good things and bad things has contributed to the person that I am today, and there's two kind of people in this life.

00:39:50.634 --> 00:40:02.501
I think there are people that show us what we should do and there are people who show us what we should not do, and we should be grateful for them both, because we need them both.

00:40:03.083 --> 00:40:03.405
I like that.

00:40:03.684 --> 00:40:09.034
And both types of people has made me and has made you who we are today.

00:40:09.777 --> 00:40:11.599
Absolutely, Absolutely.

00:40:11.599 --> 00:40:21.092
I really enjoyed well, I really do enjoy your perspective on life and everything you brought to this conversation because of it.

00:40:21.092 --> 00:40:25.237
Man, I really do appreciate your time and willingness to sit down and talk for a little bit.

00:40:26.083 --> 00:40:29.733
So thank you, I'm very grateful for having met you and for being a guest on the show.

00:40:30.668 --> 00:40:31.565
But I got to be real honest.

00:40:31.565 --> 00:40:33.112
I got to be real honest right now.

00:40:33.385 --> 00:40:36.952
I know you're going to have to cut this out, but my butt is starting to hurt.

00:40:39.827 --> 00:40:40.811
I may just leave it.

00:40:42.188 --> 00:40:45.175
I'm on a wood seat, so no problem.

00:40:45.195 --> 00:40:47.130
No problem, we're wrapping this up.

00:40:47.130 --> 00:41:01.918
But, Jim, for anybody else that wants to get in touch with you for the sake of your book, follow along more with any you know maybe any commentary or reach out to you for support or just get involved in AA.

00:41:01.918 --> 00:41:04.101
Maybe that you've got insight you can help them with.

00:41:04.101 --> 00:41:05.646
How do you recommend?

00:41:05.846 --> 00:41:08.509
people with me.

00:41:08.509 --> 00:41:12.753
They could go to my website, which is www.

00:41:12.753 --> 00:41:19.585
thywillbedone all small letters by jameskuzikowski.

00:41:19.585 --> 00:41:21.992
com.

00:41:21.992 --> 00:41:30.744
Of course the correct spelling of my name has to be in, and then there they will be given an icon if they want to contact.

00:41:30.744 --> 00:41:34.123
Often they contact me through my website or they can contact me on Facebook if they want to contact me through my website.

00:41:34.123 --> 00:41:34.364
Perfect.

00:41:34.364 --> 00:41:37.333
Or they can contact me on Facebook if they look me up.

00:41:38.114 --> 00:41:41.969
Oh, okay, perfect, Depending on what player you're streaming this on.

00:41:41.969 --> 00:41:56.737
If you click see more or you click show more, a drop down of text will come underneath the player and if you scroll down, you'll be able to see links for Jim's website there, and then you'll be able to get in touch with him, his resources and, obviously, his book through there.

00:41:56.737 --> 00:42:05.793
But, Jim, for the sake of time and, I guess, your posterior chain I appreciate your time, man, and I hope the rest of your evening goes well for you.

00:42:06.405 --> 00:42:07.208
I appreciate you.

00:42:07.208 --> 00:42:08.132
Thank you very much.

00:42:08.704 --> 00:42:10.967
Absolutely, for everybody else listening to the show.

00:42:10.967 --> 00:42:14.929
Thank you guys for tuning in, staying with us, this conversation, continuing listeners.

00:42:14.929 --> 00:42:17.351
Thank you for coming back and everybody else.

00:42:17.351 --> 00:42:19.972
I hope you got as much out of this conversation as I did.

00:42:19.972 --> 00:42:21.032
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00:42:21.074 --> 00:42:22.695
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00:42:22.695 --> 00:42:28.018
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00:42:29.179 --> 00:42:31.541
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00:42:31.541 --> 00:42:37.134
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00:42:37.134 --> 00:42:43.990
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00:42:47.054 --> 00:42:51.851
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00:42:51.851 --> 00:43:00.394
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00:43:00.394 --> 00:43:02.351
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00:43:02.351 --> 00:43:04.679
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00:43:04.679 --> 00:43:13.492
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00:43:13.492 --> 00:43:15.356
That was Transacting Value.