Stitching Together a Civilian Identity Post-Military with Guest Travis Partington

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Welcome to Transacting Value, where we talk about practical applications for personal values when dealing with each other and even within ourselves.

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Where we foster a podcast listening experience that lets you hear the power of a value system for managing burnout, establishing boundaries and finding belonging.

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My name is Josh Porthouse, I'm your host and we are your people.

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This is why values still hold value.

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This is Transacting Value.

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It's easier to be comfortable in pain and suffering than to embrace the challenge of potentially feeling better, and it can become a trap real quick.

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So sometimes you have to take that step and have a little faith.

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Today on Transacting Value, what resonates with you and, more importantly, why?

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Why do you do the things that you do and why do those things give you inspiration?

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Now, there's a lot of people and a lot of perspectives around the world that are probably going to have drastically different answers, but, interestingly enough, in the US, when it comes down to the Department of Defense especially, a lot of military service members, active duty and reservists, their families, their spheres of influence and, all things considered, their military experience generally carry a lot of consistencies.

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Today, our newest contributor, Travis Partington, hosts a podcast called Oscar Mike Radio, also broadcasting on Wreaths Across America Radio, and he showcases all of those experiences and all of that resonance to share stories and raise awareness.

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So, without further ado, I'm Porter, I'm your host and this is Transacting Value.

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Doing great.

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It's great to be here and sipper gummy, but doing recording.

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It's awesome to talk with you, Josh.

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Thank you so much.

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Dude, I really appreciate it.

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I know you got a lot of things going on in your own life and, judging by your show, you're busy in your own right.

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So thanks for giving me some of your time and sharing your perspective.

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It's all good.

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We're all part of the Wreaths Cross America radio family and we got to take care of each other.

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Yeah, yeah, I hear that, you know, and it's interesting enough too, because I look at the military and I am going to get to you here, so don't get too comfortable putting in some distance but I look at the military as a subculture of American society and I think what we bring to the table throughout our careers and, like I said, active, reserve or even retired in some cases, in every case, actually is it's just different.

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You know, it's like you travel to different regions around the US.

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I'm sure you've traveled at least once or twice, let alone deployed right.

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And you see patterns, you hear biases in perspective, in thought, the way people talk, maybe it's accents, whatever it is, maybe it hits you like man that sounds uneducated, but maybe it's the best that region has to offer, man that looks sophisticated, but maybe that's just the norm and anything in between.

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And so I got a question for you real quick before we dive into you, Travis, talking to all of these people on your show.

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Over the last, I think, six, seven years you've been doing it now.

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Do you see those trends, do you see those commonalities now that maybe there is a subset of commonality and culture among the military perspective?

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I would say yes.

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The military perspective, I would say yes.

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The commonality I see one is it's not like a lot of people who go to high school, go to college or trade school and they're a welder, painter, doctor, accountant, teacher for 23 years of life.

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We get of high school, we might bounce around for a little while, go in the military, go to school for a little while, go in the military and then come out of the military and have to reinvent ourselves because you go in and you definitely have to come out.

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So whether it's four years or 20 years, you have to come out.

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So you're forced to kind of reinvent yourself because at its core, there's some jobs that we can do in the military, in the civilian world, but a lot of us those jobs don't transfer over.

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So you have to adapt to a new reality and it can feel like your life went on pause and the whole world went ahead of you.

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So there's that aspect is we have to adapt and overcome, literally in order to survive and thrive, right.

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So there's that commonality.

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The second commonality is you know, it's a true to your point, it's a true culture and subculture.

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It's a true culture and subculture, and so we find ourselves almost institutionalized to where it can be hard to adapt to being around I hesitate to say this normal people.

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So it can be difficult to reintegrate at certain times.

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So there's that aspect of it as well.

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And you know, one thing I found is people think that you know, tell me all the time.

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Well, officers have it easy, for example, and I find out real quick, officers don't have a red carpet either.

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It's difficult for them at times as well.

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So at the core answer, I would say, Josh, it's adaptation is common amongst everybody who served in the military.

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And I think with that comes a certain degree of resiliency as well, because you're not always successful.

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Yeah, for real.

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So you know what?

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Let's do this in identifying all those things and, I guess, in the spirit of reinvention, as you've transitioned through your career and just grown through life, let's start with you.

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So, for anybody new to the show, Travis and I are speaking on a video call right now, but since you're only hearing the audio, nobody can see you man, so they may not even know who you are.

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They may not even know about Oscar Mike Radio.

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I don't know who's going to hear this, any more than, frankly, you know who's going to hear this.

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So let's start at the beginning with you.

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Take a couple minutes, man.

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Who are you?

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What have have you done?

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What?

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sort of things have shaped your perspective.

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Wow, that's always a interesting question, right?

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Yeah, I'm a guy who grew up in the midwest and lived in the south for a while and from there I joined the marine corps.

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I was in the air wing.

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I was a radar operator for the surface to air missile system that called hawk.

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Really enjoyed that.

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It was a cool MOS, but it was an MOS that was going away.

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As people remember, the Marine Corps got rid of tanks and got rid of scout snipers.

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Well, they get rid of other things.

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And all of a sudden you're like, oh, wow, there's no way for me to get promoted, there's nothing I can do.

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I got hurt and then it just made sense to go my own way.

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Got out, rode my motorcycle to the Northeast, started my life and, you know, had to adapt.

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You know, did a couple jobs and the frustrating thing was I'd go for a computer services job or, you know, some kind of hardware support job and it's like, well, you worked on these radars or whatever, but you're not technical in the sense that you don't have a piece of paper saying you're technical.

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Yep, I'm like well, I have my DD 214 that says I did this, this and this.

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Well, that's not good enough.

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So I had to, you know, jump through some hoops but got some training and, you know, got that piece of paper.

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And then I got a job at a financial services firm in Boston.

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I've been working there ever since.

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I've moved around in that company.

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I started off just working on computers and redoing operating system installs and heartbreak fix stuff, and now I'm in cybersecurity.

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And that's one side of my life, right?

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I'm a father.

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I have three sons who I love very much.

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They're my best achievement in life, source of my strength, and wouldn't have it any other way.

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And about 10 years ago well, 12 years ago really life started taking a turn.

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Life started taking a change, Realized that things and people that I thought were loyal and dear to me weren't, and was going through a very hard time in my life.

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And it was at this time that I got encouraged to go to my local VA and see some real challenges.

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And you know I got a real big dose of gratitude.

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Josh, you know you're sitting there feeling sorry for yourself, and there's men and women that serve our country whose best day is some sunlight coming through their 8x10 room.

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And so it started me on this path of gratitude.

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And then the other thing that started happening was I had joined the Marine Corps League in my area.

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Me was, I had joined the Marine Corps League in my area and we would do these rituals for service members and veterans who had passed right.

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And this was right at the time I would say 2013 to 2015, where people were killing themselves at an alarming rate, Like every time you turned around, you know, somebody else had killed themselves.

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It wasn't funny, it was just I hadn't ever gone through anything like that before.

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And so I'm sitting there, we're doing this ritual and we're told, hey, this is what happened, and you do the marine corps ritual, league ritual, excuse me.

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And then you shake the hands and offer comfort to the family as you exit the service and the family members were asking us like, you know what happened, why did you all make it?

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And my son, husband, brother didn't, and I didn't have an answer.

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Josh, and you know, life was pretty bad for me.

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I wasn't having a really good time and you know I was in my valley of the shadow of death, for sure, but I was like well, you know, I never gave up hope and I got this idea.

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I'm like you know, I don't know what I'm going to do, I don't have much, but I'm going to figure out a way to show people that there's guys like you and me, men and women, who serve our country or serving our country.

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They're figuring it out and asking for help and getting resources and services to move their life forward, and they're not alone.

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They're continuing, they're fighting their way, but they're not doing it alone and they're overcoming immense challenges in their lives, stuff that you know you wouldn't even think someone would be able to deal with, but they're doing it.

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So I wanted to provide a way to tell that story in some form or fashion and hopefully affect one person.

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All right, folks, sit tight and we'll be right back on Transacting Value.

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This message is from the US Department of Veterans Affairs.

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VA disability compensation is open to veterans with a disability rating of 10% or more.

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Veterans may qualify for more than $4,000 a month.

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Those with a disability rating of 10% or more also get free or low-cost VA health care.

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If you have a disability rating, you can apply for a rating increase.

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Learn more at va.

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gov/disability.

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They're.

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They're overcoming immense challenges in their lives, stuff that you know you wouldn't even think someone would be able to deal with, but they're doing it.

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So I wanted to provide a way to tell that story in some form or fashion and hopefully, affect one person.

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And so, about eight years ago almost the day eight years ago was when I decided to start Oscar Mike Radio, and then July of 2016 is when I did my first.

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July 22nd is when I did my first show and I'm in on 400 shows and, you know, just had some amazing conversations and opportunities and things that have, you know, definitely changed my life.

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Because I'll close with this to the question is doing Oscar Mike radio in a way, forced me to look at myself and realize that, hey, I can't do certain things alone, and that I am, I can be vulnerable?

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I can say, hey, I need help.

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I'm not figuring this out.

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But also, you know, you have to put out a show every week on time, regardless of what's going on.

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If you say you're going to be with somebody at what time, okay, you might.

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The time might change like it did for our conversation.

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That's on me, but you know you gotta be super gumby, you gotta be there, you gotta be present and it allowed me to.

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You know, find myself again and, you know, embrace the value that I had.

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And you know, at the end of the day, you know, I hope that just if one person moves their life for because of conversations I've had, either with people like yourself, with my show, then it's all been worth it.

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Well, if it's any consolation, that's what pulled me in to get you on this show.

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So check your boxes, man, I think.

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All that being said, you mentioned quite a bit, and I don't know that I have the ability or competency to unpack all of it in this particular conversation, but I'm going to be back on Absolutely, and so we're going to plan further ahead next time so we can sync up.

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But yeah, I've got.

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I do have quite a few questions to pull out of that, and something that you just said at the tail end, I think is the best place to start and I'll work my way backwards.

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But you said finding yourself through the process, through podcasting over the last eight years, and I can only assume, based on some of the guests you've had, like even more recently you had a guy, Jeff Nelligan.

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You guys were talking about parenting.

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So I have a very strong feeling that in finding yourself, you've been able to well, I suppose, reinvent yourself in some of these other roles, to be a better version of you and just a better human in the process as well parenting or really any role.

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Well, I would just really quick.

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I said podcasting.

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What it forced me to do was was listen better to my kids.

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Okay, as a host or as a listener of other podcasts.

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As a host and listen to other podcasts.

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You know you have to listen to people, right?

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And so when my sons would talk to me about what's on their mind, you know this is going on, dad.

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It's time to shut down all the distractions and listen to them, and listen first and not judge.

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You know and understand that you know that child coming to you is doing it because you know and understand that you know that that child coming to you is doing it because you know they need you and they want your perspective and that's that's not the case all the time.

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So you know it really helped me in that regard to sometimes just sit there and listen to them and ask good questions and parent in that way, instead of trying to be like, you know, mr Marine Corps drill instructor all the time.

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Well, that may be the.

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Is that how you got your radio voice?

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You're a drill instructor.

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No, I wasn't no.

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No, it's been there for a while, it's always been there.

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Oh, that's your birth voice.

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That's impressive.

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I can only imagine what you sounded like when you cried as a baby.

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But I don't know, but but I imagine it was pretty awesome, but anyway.

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So so saying that it sounds like that's also a transition, though, because parenting active listening but in the military I don't really know that you have to actively listen that often or really that much at all.

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Just hear or don't just tune it out and watch where the crowd goes.

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Stand in that line, because there is a line.

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You'll probably be partly right most of the time, isn't it more, just do, yeah, it's even better.

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I'm thinking of the Charge of the Light Brigade, that poem.

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Ours is not to reason why Ours is to do or die, or something like that.

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That's the military.

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We just got to do it.

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Yeah, that's it.

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And you know what?

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I don't know why we have Oakley or Danner or Bates and not Nike more often, because that's it.

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You know what I mean?

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We, we are the poster.

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If uncle Sam had Nike's on, it'd be a revolution, I think.

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But it's basically the motto right next to honor, courage and commitment semicolon just do it.

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Yeah, that's it.

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And I think that is pivotal because for the majority of us, let's say, coming out of high school, no kids at this point, sort of stereotypical 18-year-old lost, but think you found out everything and arguably socially at least uneducated, but think you understand the world.

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And then here's a gun, five, six, seven figures worth of responsibility and accountability and, let's say, before you're 25.

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And now you've got to try to assimilate into that society, into that military culture, routine, way of life, whichever branch applies here and frankly, whichever country and whichever branch applies here, they're probably all very similar.

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But you earn that perspective, you develop that worldview, you start to process the patterns and the biases that you're growing into because your brain is still developing.

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Then let's just say you don't get medically retired early, you don't get administratively separated early and somewhere between four to what's an average 24 years.

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You get out that perspective comes with you All the emotional baggage, all the traumas, all the insight, all the responsibility, accountability, sense of self-presence is inherent in that role that you no longer have.

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But in that process, or maybe at that point, you become a parent and I think there's a lot of skills that translate.

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But, like we said, active listening I'm not entirely sure is one that gets developed early on and so a lot of people get out after one or two contracts and, I think, miss out on that opportunity to learn how to actively listen.

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And for me, podcasting became that therapy, just like you were describing.

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It's given me a better, more well-rounded perspective, structure to chaos and in your case, 400 and some people have shared stories and perspectives and influenced now the way you view the world.

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How do you see that impacting people that you may never meet, that hear your shows?

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How do you inject resonance to reach as wide an audience as possible with some of these values, some of this perspective, some of this?

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resiliency.

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I will say first that I try very hard to make sure that the time is not about me, that I'm not injecting myself into my guest's story.

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I might add some context or perspective based on my experience, but I really focus on who's in front of me and what they're offering.

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There was a guest who was like number 117 or 121.

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I think it was 121.

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I was talking to an Army National Guard veteran who was a contractor.

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And this is way back when, when I was still trying to figure myself out, and we did the show in a Dunkin' Donuts, that's all I had.

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I had a recorder, two microphones and me and I'm like, hey, this is what we can do, this is how we do it.

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And so we did it.

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And then I asked him after our conversation well, what'd you think?

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He's like?

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Well, it was kind of weird doing it in a Dunkin' Donuts.

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I'm not gonna lie to you, you know.

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You know, but I really enjoy talking with you.

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I really like felt like you really cared about me.

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He's like I don't know much about media or podcasting, I'm a, I'm a contractor, but he's like you know what I think.

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If you, Travis, add value to somebody every time you talk to him, I think you're going to go far, and that really kind of just blew me away because you know he didn't know anything about podcasting.

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He was in a customer-focused business, and so to answer your question is I want to make sure, whoever it is or whatever their story is, that I can find some sort of value to give to the listener, who may be a half a world away, might be their next door neighbor, or, more importantly, it really hits home, Josh, when a spouse or sibling parent will send me a DM or an email saying wow, I didn't know that about my relative in their service time and you got something out of them, thank you.

00:20:13.192 --> 00:20:22.211
So it's all about the value that you can get out of your guest and, as much as possible, you can't intrude on that.

00:20:23.817 --> 00:20:26.266
All right, folks sit tight and we'll be right back on Transacting Value.

00:20:26.266 --> 00:20:35.382
Join us for Transacting Value, where we discuss practical applications of personal values, every Monday at 9 am on our website, transactingvaluepodcast.

00:20:35.382 --> 00:20:37.227
com.

00:20:37.227 --> 00:20:40.000
Wednesdays at 5 pm and Sundays at noon on wreathsacrossamerica.

00:20:40.000 --> 00:20:43.307
org wreathsacrossamerica.

00:20:45.836 --> 00:20:53.724
So it's all about the value that you can get out of your guest and, as much as possible, you can't intrude on that.

00:20:54.275 --> 00:20:58.644
That's heavy because it's tempting to interrupt.

00:20:58.644 --> 00:21:01.319
It's tempting Everybody wants to talk about themselves.

00:21:01.319 --> 00:21:02.564
It's just natural.

00:21:02.564 --> 00:21:05.963
You know, share the experiences, share the airwaves, so on and so on.

00:21:05.963 --> 00:21:27.580
In a regular conversation maybe interruption is natural, but, for example, in 45 minutes or closer to an hour, I think in most cases on your show that's all you get to try to broadcast whatever, like you said, whatever value somebody has in their perspective that you think appeals most directly to your sort of theme or audience or whatever applies on a show like this.

00:21:27.580 --> 00:21:45.182
But in effect you're just inviting eavesdroppers, right, and so there still has to be some personal rapport and there still has to be some vulnerability and I think that's difficult to overcome as a host, as a guest, in whatever role, when you're in a public sphere.

00:21:45.182 --> 00:21:51.286
When it comes to podcasting, we've got distance, We've got an arm's length because you can't see who's listening to you.

00:21:51.286 --> 00:22:17.817
It's like a radio show, essentially it's broadcast media, but it still allows you an opportunity to build presence or showcase a sense of self or develop it, depending on where you're, at which microphone, at which point In building that kind of awareness, though you mentioned earlier that there were some points over, I'm assuming, what were the last couple decades at least, that, essentially, loyalty isn't always lasting Once you get out of the military.

00:22:18.499 --> 00:22:25.150
I'm sure you haven't kept in touch with everybody you knew, but you were pretty tight before you got out or before they got out.

00:22:25.150 --> 00:22:27.040
So what then?

00:22:27.040 --> 00:22:31.478
Because to me that either means betrayal or you just grow apart.

00:22:31.478 --> 00:22:36.468
But either way it can end up in loneliness, depression, anxiety.

00:22:36.468 --> 00:22:45.800
You lose your sense of self, you lose a sense of your identity, where your place is, your purpose, clarity of thought, habits of action, whatever.

00:22:45.800 --> 00:22:50.079
How have you seen or what's worked for you to fill that, to cope with that?

00:22:50.842 --> 00:22:51.903
losing those loyalties.

00:22:51.903 --> 00:22:54.415
Well, it is an interesting phenomenon, right.

00:22:54.415 --> 00:23:05.066
You swear to defend the constitution and your country from all enemies, foreign and domestic, and I don't know about you, but I never foreswore that oath.

00:23:05.066 --> 00:23:15.669
There was never like, hey, that doesn't apply to you anymore, and I don't know about other branches, but when the Marine Corps separates you, you're no longer in the Marine Corps, so it starts there.

00:23:15.669 --> 00:23:22.864
It's like, okay, you were in this culture, you were in this environment, you had performed at this level, and then you're not.

00:23:22.974 --> 00:23:24.741
And the stop is abrupt.

00:23:24.741 --> 00:23:27.376
It's like the egg hitting the frying pan.

00:23:27.376 --> 00:23:29.419
It's an abrupt change, right.

00:23:29.419 --> 00:23:41.750
And then you realize oh yeah, you know, your buddies can't get on and play GoldenEye with you or COD or anything else, because they're half a world away.

00:23:41.750 --> 00:23:46.880
Yeah, they're trying to get their stuff ready to go do their mission.

00:23:46.880 --> 00:23:54.830
And you're trying to find work, keep a job, get some training, understand what it's like to be fully married, fully a parent, so on and so forth.

00:23:54.871 --> 00:24:32.778
Right, and this is where I try to encourage veterans of all flavors.

00:24:32.778 --> 00:24:45.397
Not have known your experience because they didn't serve with you, but they definitely understand the service experience and will be able to buff the rough edges out and give you a place to belong if you want it.

00:24:45.397 --> 00:24:49.963
And it can be very challenging because, again, you're trying to get a job.

00:24:49.963 --> 00:24:57.436
Work, be a dad, be a mom, be a husband or wife and get through life and change.

00:24:57.436 --> 00:25:05.604
And you know from my experience, you know, in all fairness, I don't think I articulated to people around me just how much the change affected me.

00:25:05.604 --> 00:25:12.266
I tried to laugh it off, or yeah, I just do that because the Marine Corps told me to and I'll figure it out.

00:25:12.365 --> 00:25:23.866
You know it was a big change in my life and I didn't really admit it to it either, and so I would tell your listeners or anybody else who cares to listen is hey, you know, we don't do this alone.

00:25:23.866 --> 00:25:25.679
You didn't serve alone, you didn't fight alone.

00:25:25.679 --> 00:25:26.863
Do this next part of your life with somebody.

00:25:26.863 --> 00:25:27.265
Don't do it alone.

00:25:27.265 --> 00:25:28.189
You didn't serve alone, you didn't fight alone.

00:25:28.189 --> 00:25:30.195
Do this next part of your life with somebody.

00:25:30.195 --> 00:25:31.038
Don't do it alone.

00:25:31.038 --> 00:25:35.959
And there's people that you're going to meet, who serve just like you did, who will help you out.

00:25:35.959 --> 00:25:47.202
And to that point, I can sit there and tell you that a naval submariner put his neck on the line for me to get a job, and I like to think that his faith is rewarded.

00:25:47.202 --> 00:25:50.361
But you need relationships like that, so don't be afraid to develop them.

00:25:50.862 --> 00:25:56.824
You may not be alone in any circumstance to your point, but you can certainly feel alone.

00:25:56.824 --> 00:25:59.917
And then it's tough for somebody to say, yeah, well, you're not.

00:25:59.917 --> 00:26:01.401
Well, yes, I am.

00:26:01.401 --> 00:26:02.624
That's exactly how I feel.

00:26:02.624 --> 00:26:04.996
You don't know how I feel, or any number of defenses.

00:26:04.996 --> 00:26:25.420
Right, when you get into those low points and I guess that's sort of a colloquialism, but relative or subjective to whoever you are whatever that low looks like, when you get into those points, well, it's like you said, sometimes the best day, all you have is well, at least it's not cloudy today there's sunlight in the window.

00:26:25.420 --> 00:26:26.782
Or I think I saw a video recently.

00:26:26.843 --> 00:26:37.636
Henry Cavill, superman, ironically, the icon of hope said something to the effect of don't take away somebody's hope because that may be all they have.

00:26:37.636 --> 00:27:09.202
And I think a lot of those things, a lot of those themes and comments and whatever resonates, at least in my opinion and perspective, more heavily in the veteran community, because I don't even want to say veterans more heavily in the veteran community, because I don't even want to say veterans like a military service, maybe like a civil servant, hometown hero type, law enforcement, military nurses, doctors, whatever, somewhere where you go through a high stress environment for an extended period of time and you bond over that stress and then you lose the support network because people change, people move, people die, things happen, life happens, you grow apart and then you don't have the same.

00:27:09.202 --> 00:27:14.038
But what's hard to realize is you do still have the network.

00:27:14.038 --> 00:27:15.801
It just doesn't look the same.

00:27:15.801 --> 00:27:40.531
And in my opinion, what I've learned on my show and please jump in and correct me if you've seen something different or heard something different is, even if it looks different and you feel like you're at your bottom because you don't recognize it, one thing that I've learned realistically over the last probably 90 days, at the time of this recording, maybe four months ago, when my active duty contract ended was I got depressed.

00:27:41.334 --> 00:27:45.133
I didn't know who I was, I didn't know my role, I didn't know how to host the show or direction.

00:27:45.133 --> 00:27:46.846
I just lost a sense of purpose and self and a few other things I had to work through.

00:27:46.846 --> 00:27:47.661
But what I didn't know how to host the show or direction.

00:27:47.661 --> 00:27:50.685
I just lost a sense of purpose and self and a few other things I had to work through.

00:27:50.685 --> 00:28:08.118
But what I didn't see at the time, that I've come to realize now by talking to people like you and listening to shows like yours or just talking in general sometimes to myself at Red Lights was I feel like I'm at my bottom, when in reality it's my perspective.

00:28:08.138 --> 00:28:08.801
That's the issue.

00:28:08.801 --> 00:28:35.039
I actually got so close to my potential, I got comfortable and I just wasn't mentally or maybe in terms of maturity, prepared well enough at that time to handle all of this grief or shame or depression or whatever full frontal, full bore like maybe I feel like I am now and so, when I feel like I'm at my bottom, maybe I'm actually at the top end of my threshold and it's just time to level up and now I'm mature enough to handle it.

00:28:35.039 --> 00:28:41.401
I'm just becoming aware of how mature I'm becoming and I didn't see that before.

00:28:41.401 --> 00:28:45.960
Have you found that to be similar in your experience, you personally growing through these processes?

00:28:46.582 --> 00:28:49.057
I think it's like you go on a forced March, right.

00:28:49.057 --> 00:28:51.303
That first one is just a real wake-up call.

00:28:51.303 --> 00:28:58.423
Right, for three miles with that pack, a ruck is just a real wake-up call, that you know this is hard.

00:28:58.423 --> 00:29:06.021
And then, three months later, a 10 miler is is no big deal, it's just, you know, got to do it.

00:29:06.021 --> 00:29:21.210
So to your point is you have to take the reps, you have to go through the conditioning, and it's that aspect of to your point of self-awareness and being honest with yourself Okay, I'm not having a good time right now.

00:29:21.210 --> 00:29:23.597
Why am I not having a good time right now?

00:29:23.679 --> 00:29:26.387
Well, let's just take it to podcasting, for example.

00:29:26.387 --> 00:29:36.261
I thought I had my microphone set right and you realize, oh no, you didn't have your it's set right, you didn't have the gain on your mixer turned up enough.

00:29:36.261 --> 00:29:37.886
You turned it down and forgot about it.

00:29:37.886 --> 00:29:40.075
And you go through these and learn.

00:29:40.075 --> 00:29:43.261
And so the next time you do an audio setup, you're better.

00:29:43.261 --> 00:29:52.232
You know, you understand where your mic has to be positioned, you understand, you know how far will you have to be in your next couple of podcasts are better.

00:29:52.232 --> 00:29:56.102
And then you find other things to to work on and tweak and you work on it.

00:29:56.323 --> 00:30:00.805
The same way with life Sometimes the answer is really a parent's, right there in front of you.

00:30:00.805 --> 00:30:06.527
Sometimes you need somebody to give you the proverbial swift kick to understand that you you're messing up.

00:30:06.527 --> 00:30:14.590
But I think it's maybe to your point where you have to have this mindset of coachability and adaptability.

00:30:14.590 --> 00:30:31.779
And I don't know you you osh, but I see people get comfortable in pain and suffering, you know, because it's easier to be comfortable in pain and suffering than to embrace the challenge of potentially feeling better, and it can become a trap real quick.

00:30:31.779 --> 00:30:38.099
So sometimes you have to take that step and have a little faith, absolutely.

00:30:38.500 --> 00:30:45.641
And I think that's maybe a misnomer or a misconception, or I don't actually know what the appropriate word is, maybe I'm misspeaking.

00:30:45.641 --> 00:31:05.624
But the camaraderie in the military and I'm going to go on a limb here and bet my next unemployed paycheck coming, that's not coming is that there is a certain degree of camaraderie from the outside, ie let's call it private sector anybody not in the military looking in that comes from.

00:31:05.624 --> 00:31:10.336
Either all those people are idiots or I don't understand how they could do that.

00:31:10.336 --> 00:31:20.448
They all look like they enjoy hiking that far with that much weight, rolling around, doing sit-ups in the surf, whatever applies, when that lens may be.

00:31:20.448 --> 00:31:31.079
They're all finding enjoyment or humor or whatever in the pain and suffering and ironically, I think that's the inverse sort of continuum we tend to adopt when we separate or get out.

00:31:31.079 --> 00:31:44.824
But I think the reality is more, when we're in, really what we're enjoying is overcoming the challenge and just finding ways, maybe unwittingly but overcoming the challenge, and sort of stoking the hate and discontent.

00:31:44.824 --> 00:32:00.345
Because then that camaraderie, that sort of dark humor Now, like you said, conditions you through some degree of coaching, drill instructors, platoon staff, really gnarly squad leaders, whatever applies that.

00:32:01.047 --> 00:32:05.279
You may think this sucks today, but this isn't a once a week thing.

00:32:05.279 --> 00:32:20.263
What we're preparing you for and I've come to learn over the last 14 years I'm in the reserves now, but over the last 14 years of active duty that what we're preparing you for in a war fighting environment is this isn't a once a week, once a month, once a year no offense reservists once a summer thing.

00:32:20.263 --> 00:32:22.060
This is just a Tuesday.

00:32:22.060 --> 00:32:25.856
Inversely, when we get out and we separate everything.

00:32:25.856 --> 00:32:28.460
Conversely, when we get out and we separate everything we had, it's like getting a tooth pulled.

00:32:28.460 --> 00:32:32.343
It was fundamental in your ability to survive and then you lose it.

00:32:32.343 --> 00:32:33.123
It's just a hole.

00:32:33.123 --> 00:32:36.786
And so now what do you have?

00:32:36.786 --> 00:32:40.328
Generally speaking, I'm standing on everything I went through.

00:32:40.328 --> 00:32:54.713
I'm standing on all of the whatever camaraderie we built, and I don't know how to do it by myself, because I used a group mentality to support that.

00:33:12.654 --> 00:33:14.076
Alrighty, folks, sit tight and we'll be right back on Transacting Value.

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00:33:51.289 --> 00:33:59.074
com now, what do you have?

00:33:59.074 --> 00:34:02.615
Generally speaking, I'm standing on everything I went through.

00:34:02.615 --> 00:34:12.577
I'm standing on all of the whatever camaraderie we built, and I don't know how to do it by myself, because I used a group mentality to support that.

00:34:12.577 --> 00:34:15.795
So this is a point in the show where I want to jump into you real quick.

00:34:15.864 --> 00:34:18.775
It's called developing character, developing character.

00:34:19.045 --> 00:34:21.128
And for anybody new to the show and Travisvis you included.

00:34:21.128 --> 00:34:29.851
This is two questions where I'm just going to dive in real quick to what you found to stand on and I'm specifically going to showcase some of your values here.

00:34:29.851 --> 00:34:32.367
So answer as comfortably or vulnerably as you're willing to be.

00:34:32.367 --> 00:34:36.485
But my first question is let's start at the beginning, when you were growing up.

00:34:36.485 --> 00:34:54.248
As a foundation here, attribute this to whatever age you want what were some of the values you were exposed to or that you remember maybe hearing about or experiencing, emphasizing I would say it's the golden rule Treat every man as how you want to be treated was something that was impressed upon me.

00:34:55.369 --> 00:35:17.076
And then the other value is understanding the kind of country we live in, the fact that we do have the freedoms to do what we do is based on, you know, these conditions that were met, and we're not a perfect nation by any stretch of the imagination, but you know, we enjoy the freedoms we have and the kind of life we want, because you are free to practice your religion here.

00:35:17.076 --> 00:35:21.635
You are free to do what you want to do, and people sacrificed to make that happen.

00:35:21.635 --> 00:35:22.186
And so that was.

00:35:22.186 --> 00:35:31.291
The second thing is, you know, sometimes you have to make sacrifices for others while coming behind you to have the kind of life you want.

00:35:31.992 --> 00:35:33.657
Absolutely, absolutely.

00:35:33.657 --> 00:35:42.969
Now, though, you've gone through your life, grown through your service, gained, obviously, a fair amount of service experience indirectly from other people's stories as well.

00:35:42.969 --> 00:35:46.197
So my second question what are some of your values now?

00:35:46.197 --> 00:35:51.356
Because at some point you've still got to stand on you and have self-reliance and self-confidence.

00:35:51.356 --> 00:35:52.266
What now?

00:35:53.009 --> 00:35:57.179
I'm big on this concept of belief, personally and professionally.

00:35:57.179 --> 00:35:58.885
Let me explain.

00:35:58.885 --> 00:36:04.230
So there's one of our fellow veterans who will sit there and tell you that discipline is everything.

00:36:04.230 --> 00:36:06.333
Discipline is the only thing.

00:36:06.333 --> 00:36:08.579
Without discipline, you are nothing.

00:36:08.579 --> 00:36:09.945
Embrace discipline.

00:36:09.945 --> 00:36:11.548
And here's the thing, josh.

00:36:11.548 --> 00:36:12.791
He's not wrong.

00:36:12.791 --> 00:36:20.813
He's not wrong, but I think it's half the answer, because so many people don't have any discipline.

00:36:20.813 --> 00:36:22.938
So if you start there, you make progress.

00:36:23.644 --> 00:36:30.891
I can personally tell you maybe another show or another conversation, right where I had to have discipline, I had to have motivation.

00:36:30.891 --> 00:36:33.505
And people will tell you that motivation doesn't mean anything.

00:36:33.505 --> 00:36:41.119
I disagree, because think of two sides of the coin, one side being discipline, one side being motivation.

00:36:41.119 --> 00:36:44.233
The coin is forged out of belief.

00:36:44.233 --> 00:36:51.759
So I've had situations in my life where I had to get from point A to point Z and it was going to be hard.

00:36:51.759 --> 00:37:09.945
I knew it was going to be hard and the only way I was able to stay disciplined, to go through the process, was the motivation of what the result of discipline would give for me, and that motivation was fueled and forged from belief that I could accomplish the task in front of me.

00:37:10.547 --> 00:37:18.072
So everything is based on belief and then you're motivated to do the discipline, because you understand that by doing the discipline you're going to get the reward.

00:37:18.072 --> 00:37:20.300
So that is where I'm at now in my life, and what happens is, if you do that enough times, the reward.

00:37:20.300 --> 00:37:27.708
So that is where I'm at now in my life, and what happens is, if you do that enough times, you get this other thing that I'm a really big fan of, which is confidence.

00:37:27.708 --> 00:37:31.436
Small wins, it doesn't matter.

00:37:31.436 --> 00:37:40.311
It goes back to the whole thing where the Admiral said make your bed every day, then organize your house every day, then make sure your car is clean, right?

00:37:40.311 --> 00:37:45.177
Small incremental wins over time lead to progress in many areas in your life.

00:37:46.045 --> 00:37:47.851
Admiral McRaven, I think it was.

00:37:48.344 --> 00:37:50.052
Yes, yes, I couldn't remember it, thank you.

00:37:50.326 --> 00:37:56.748
Yeah, I totally agree with you, and I think having that degree of self-worth is something that you get.

00:37:56.748 --> 00:38:00.112
It may as well be issued to you when you get through recruit training.

00:38:00.112 --> 00:38:06.427
You just don't know what to do with it, like a lot of the other pieces, parts and materials you got given, but over time you start to learn.

00:38:06.427 --> 00:38:10.108
You just got to give it enough time for the experience to happen so you learn what to do with it.

00:38:10.108 --> 00:38:13.844
Otherwise it just stays in your footlocker and you're like well, never touching that again.

00:38:13.844 --> 00:38:15.706
Here's that all weather coat, marine Corps, you know, or whatever.

00:38:15.706 --> 00:38:18.789
Right, right, yeah, exactly, right, right, yeah, exactly.

00:38:18.789 --> 00:38:33.561
But self-awareness, I think, in the same light that, let's say, competence breeds confidence, I think self-awareness breeds self-worth and as long as you start to become aware of that balance, you can have something to stand on and work through.

00:38:34.344 --> 00:38:40.731
Travis man, I, like I said in the beginning, wasn't entirely sure if we could pack everything in and, as it turns out, I was right.

00:38:40.731 --> 00:38:53.166
So, yes, I'd love to have you back on and talk more in the future, but as far as our listeners are concerned, if they want to talk to you, reach out to you, listen to your show, find your material support any.

00:38:53.166 --> 00:38:55.811
I got your six or whoever else you might want to support.

00:38:55.811 --> 00:38:57.313
How do they get in touch with you and your show?

00:38:57.313 --> 00:38:58.173
Where do they go?

00:38:58.815 --> 00:39:00.757
Simplest, simplest way is my website oscarmikeradio.

00:39:00.757 --> 00:39:02.659
com.

00:39:02.659 --> 00:39:05.610
You can also email travis@ oscarmikeradio.

00:39:05.610 --> 00:39:06.934
com.

00:39:06.934 --> 00:39:11.487
Those are the easiest, the two easiest ways to figure out who I am and what I'm about.

00:39:11.487 --> 00:39:16.644
And I'm on all the podcast channels spotify, apple podcast, facebook, youtube.

00:39:16.644 --> 00:39:18.425
You can check me out there and you know appreciating support.

00:39:18.425 --> 00:39:19.077
You, uh, want to throw my way?

00:39:19.077 --> 00:39:20.543
You can check me out there and you know appreciating support.

00:39:20.543 --> 00:39:21.105
You want to throw my way.

00:39:21.764 --> 00:39:24.074
Absolutely, and so spelled out right, oscar Mike.

00:39:24.485 --> 00:39:25.568
It's Oscar, the word.

00:39:25.769 --> 00:39:32.010
Oscar, mike, radio Cool Cause, I know we got we got a lot of phonetic listeners, so you know, just in case.

00:39:32.010 --> 00:39:33.295
Yeah, all right, so spell it out.

00:39:34.126 --> 00:39:35.650
Oh yeah, it's not OMR.

00:39:35.650 --> 00:39:36.373
It's not OMR.

00:39:36.373 --> 00:39:42.750
It is actually the word Oscar, the word Mike, the word radio, all combined into one string.

00:39:43.190 --> 00:39:44.672
Sweet, sweet dude.

00:39:44.672 --> 00:39:51.358
I really appreciate this opportunity and for everybody who listened and tuned in, depending on the player you're streaming this conversation for our show.

00:39:51.358 --> 00:39:52.619
You can click see more.

00:39:52.619 --> 00:40:06.378
You can click show more and it'll give you a dropdown for information about this conversation and you'll see a link to Oscar Mike Radio in there as well, so you'll be able to get back to his website, his content, and then find him on any other player that you prefer as well.

00:40:06.398 --> 00:40:07.461
But, travis man, I can't say this enough.

00:40:07.461 --> 00:40:12.795
I appreciate the opportunity and it's almost exactly like you said, in my opinion.

00:40:12.795 --> 00:40:21.157
When you separate or at any point for that matter, when you feel like you stepped out of reality, life went on pause and the world passed you by.

00:40:21.157 --> 00:40:34.614
It's opportunities like this, where we can talk and communicate openly and a little bit more vulnerably, where we start to see maybe we're not as behind as we thought, we're just a little bit more ignorant than we used to be, and I think that's a powerful point, dude.

00:40:34.614 --> 00:40:37.387
So thank you for the opportunity, thank you for your time and I'm all about it, man.

00:40:37.387 --> 00:40:39.228
We'll stay in touch and try to get you back on in the future.

00:40:39.750 --> 00:40:40.329
That's Josh here.

00:40:40.329 --> 00:40:42.351
I have an invitation to come on Oscar Mike Radio.

00:40:42.351 --> 00:40:44.114
I've had a great time talking with you.

00:40:44.114 --> 00:40:47.056
Thank you for your flexibility and all the best.

00:40:47.056 --> 00:40:47.858
You're doing a great work.

00:40:48.438 --> 00:40:50.360
Thanks, man, and absolutely I'll take you up on that.

00:40:50.360 --> 00:40:51.661
We'll talk about it more off the air.

00:40:51.661 --> 00:40:56.489
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00:40:56.489 --> 00:41:04.757
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00:41:04.757 --> 00:41:07.893
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00:41:07.893 --> 00:41:09.842
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00:41:09.842 --> 00:41:11.188
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