Transacting Value Podcast - Instigating Self-worth
Overcoming Fear and Building Healthy Habits with Sheri Traxler
October 14, 2024

Overcoming Fear and Building Healthy Habits with Sheri Traxler

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Ever wondered how to overcome the fear of failure and build lasting healthy habits? Join us on Transacting Value as we sit down with wellness coach Sheri Traxler, who brings a wealth of experience and wisdom from her upbringing in rural Tennessee. Sheri delves into the power of community and conflict resolution in habit formation, sharing heartfelt stories and practical strategies for navigating the anxieties linked to both failure and success. Discover how you can make small but impactful changes to your daily routine, and hear about Sheri's journey from farm life to Nashville, where she now dedicates her time to helping others boost their mental and physical energy.

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Ever wondered how to overcome the fear of failure and build lasting healthy habits? Join us on Transacting Value as we sit down with wellness coach Sheri Traxler, who brings a wealth of experience and wisdom from her upbringing in rural Tennessee. Sheri delves into the power of community and conflict resolution in habit formation, sharing heartfelt stories and practical strategies for navigating the anxieties linked to both failure and success. Discover how you can make small but impactful changes to your daily routine, and hear about Sheri's journey from farm life to Nashville, where she now dedicates her time to helping others boost their mental and physical energy.

In this episode, we tackle the tough issues of self-neglect and maintaining self-worth amidst a demanding lifestyle. Sheri recounts the inspiring story of a client who managed to weave short, manageable exercise periods into her day, leading to incredible health improvements. We also gain insights from a former Navy member who found a new calling teaching yoga in prison, a testament to the fact that our true capabilities often shine through when we step out of our comfort zones. The discussion emphasizes the importance of consistent actions and self-belief, providing you with tangible steps to enhance your well-being and resilience.

On the business front, I share my personal journey of refining my media company's business plan with the help of a SCORE mentor and an Economic Development Center. Discover the importance of understanding your target demographic, identifying pain points, and differentiating your brand for sustainable growth. We also explore the complex dynamics of personal transformation within relationships, offering strategies to maintain emotional health and balance new habits despite limited personal time. Tune in for a comprehensive guide to achieving wellness and success in both your personal and professional life, with plenty of actionable advice from our conversation with Sheri Traxler.



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An SDYT Media Production I Deviate from the Norm

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Chapters

00:00 - Redefining Healthy Habits for Success

14:31 - Building Discipline and Self-Worth

26:07 - Discovering Business and Personal Transformation

35:52 - Navigating Relationships and Wellness Change

Transcript

WEBVTT

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The views expressed in this podcast are solely those of the podcast host and guest and do not necessarily represent those of our distribution partners, supporting business relationships or supported audience.

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Welcome to Transacting Value, where we talk about practical applications for instigating self-worth when dealing with each other and even within ourselves, when we foster a podcast listening experience that lets you hear the power of a value system for managing burnout, establishing boundaries, fostering community and finding identity.

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My name is Josh Porthouse, I'm your host and we are redefining sovereignty of character.

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This is why values still hold value.

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This is Transacting Value.

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Periodically, regularly check in and go?

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Is what I'm doing contributing to the identity I want?

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Is what I'm doing contributing to the life I want?

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Today on Transacting Value how do you make healthy habits stick?

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Maybe you've looked it up before, maybe you haven't, but it's tricky Now.

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Sure, the information's all over the place, but see, the sticky, tricky part of healthy habits is the conflict internally, interpersonally, the fear of not wanting to fall back and the resurgence of that fear as you start to succeed.

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Not everybody's afraid of failing.

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Some people get afraid of succeeding.

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For this particular conversation, we've brought back our contributor from February 13th 2023.

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Her name is Sheri Traxler.

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She's the host of the Real Wellness Podcast.

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She's the coach and owner of the Vireo Life.

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We're talking to her all about what to do about healthy habits, how to make them stick, the dangers of acceptance and how to work through those things and those conflicts within any given relationship.

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Guys, without further ado, I'm Porter, I'm your host and this is Transacting Value.

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Sheri, how you doing?

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Welcome back.

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Thank you so much.

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It is great to be back.

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I know that people can't see you and people can't see me, but there's been a little change on your face that wasn't there the last time we met.

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Yeah.

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Does everybody know about this beard?

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Maybe, maybe not.

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But yeah, the last time we spoke I was still on my active duty contract in the Marine Corps.

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I'm not anymore.

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I'm actually a licensed realtor now and then obviously hosting the show, and it feels more authentic, also softer.

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I've been conditioning recently so that helps.

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Okay, Well, you know, that was just you know, information everybody needed to know.

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So that's great.

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Some people might want to know yeah, conditioner doesn't just work on top of your head.

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You never know want to know, yeah, conditioner doesn't just work on top of your head.

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You never know.

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It's true.

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That is true.

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In my world, nothing that dramatic has gone on and on of a change.

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I've not grown a beard, my hair is not down to my waist, anything like that Things have just been trucking along well, yeah, but saying that, right as much as you've been able to maintain and the consistency that you've seemed to have found, we've got some new listeners too.

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So let's back up for a second before we get a little too far past the intro.

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Who are you, Sheri?

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Take a couple minutes, take the floor.

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What do you do?

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Where are you from?

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You know what sort of things have shaped your perspective.

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Fun question to talk about, because things that have shaped my perspective I mentioned actually the last time we talked that I grew up on a farm, grew up on a very rural area, always wanted to.

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I didn't share this last time but my dad reminded me recently that I always wanted to live in Manhattan.

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Growing up I just I wanted to be smack dab in the middle of people and action and as far away from the cows as I could get.

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But growing up in that rural environment definitely taught me the sense of community and the sense of people pitching in with each other.

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And you're mentioning conflict.

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That's something that oh my lands.

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Whenever you are in that type of community, if you have conflict between you and somebody else, there's nowhere to go.

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You know it's like that's your next door neighbor and that's your only next door neighbor.

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So suck it up.

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I've got tons of stories on that we could go into.

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But that's shaped my perspective of where I grew up.

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And what was it like?

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Are we talking Midwest farms or are we talking like Southeast farms?

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Southeast Tennessee.

00:04:27.264 --> 00:04:30.593
Okay, and so now did you make it to Manhattan.

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I've only visited there once, yeah.

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Okay, so where do you live now?

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Live in Nashville Tennessee.

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Oh, okay, traveled around for a little bit and then landed, and then just landed back here and it's it's really interesting.

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The flip of that is my brother always wanted to be a home.

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I mean, he.

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The joke is that he ate too much Wilson County soil.

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We grew up in a little county called Wilson County and he was going to be a homebody, and yet he joined the Navy and has been literally all over the world, either in a submarine or on top.

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I'm like, wait a minute, what is this?

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I'm the one who wanted to travel the world and you're the one who did.

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Yeah, were you able to travel at all, just for leisure?

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Oh yeah, I've traveled for leisure, but you know, he's been to Japan, he's been to Australia, he's been everywhere and like, yeah, I've not been all the places he's been.

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That's one of the things, whether it's Marines like yourself, or Navy, or wherever you end up traveling.

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Yeah, yeah.

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Well, you don't have much of a choice either.

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But then what did you settle into?

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What do you do?

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So, yes, thank you for asking that.

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I'm just rattling off here.

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So I'm a wellness coach and a wellness speaker, so the big things that I help people with are getting energized If they are not having enough energy, if they are not being able to accomplish all that they want to be, do and have in their life because they don't have the mental, physical energy to do that.

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Working on things in lifestyle.

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Also, I help people with intuitive eating.

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So if someone is saying I am struggling with my relationship with food, I totally relate to that, because I started dieting when I was nine years old and so that was like not a good place to be mentally.

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So that's a piece of my story as well.

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And then the other piece of it is helping people make healthy habits stick, because we all know we'd feel great if we ate our vegetables and go for our walk and do these things, but how in the heck do we make those things stick in a lifestyle that's busy?

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Those are the three main buckets that I coach people on and that I speak on.

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When you say making healthy habits stick and you mentioned dieting and you mentioned obviously the be and do better In what sense Are you talking?

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Just physically, like go out and do some jumping jacks, bruce, or like we're going for a walk today, sammy?

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Like what do you mean?

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So the being doing and having is really more about why you want the fitness in your life, why you want the health and wellness in your life.

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So being fit or being healthy, or being even energetic for the sake of having high energy whoop-dee-doo.

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It's, I mean, great that we feel better, but it's really more.

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You've got big dreams, like you've got big dreams.

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Like you've got dreams, Josh.

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You've got things that you want to do either in your real estate or in your family, and to be able to accomplish those things, you can't be dragging.

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You can't be having your brain work slow.

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You've got to be able to be on top of it, and one of the things that I work with people on is are you familiar with the term biohacking?

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No, I mean, I can make a guess but no, there's a trend in the high performance space of biohacking, and by high performance I mean like mental high performance, bulletproof coffee, things like that are some things people might have be familiar with, and there's a lot of things people can do ice baths, iv drips, all kinds of stuff but when I'm working with folks, it's more what can you do in your real everyday lifestyle so that you can feel your best and be your best to accomplish the things that you want to do, without fitness, health and wellness taking up so much time and so much space that the ROI diminishes?

00:08:32.799 --> 00:08:32.960
I see.

00:08:32.960 --> 00:08:41.946
So this is like social working for individuals Like you, sort of work the environment you work, the setting.

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You work the friends, the support network, the people they're around, for the sake of the individual.

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Like social workers might, as opposed to focusing on the individual, to better anybody else's surroundings.

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You're outside, in as a focus.

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It's an interesting concept.

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It's really both it's am I doing my exercise?

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Am I getting my sunshine?

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Am I eating well without having rules around it which would get into the diet mentality?

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And then what are the support networks that I need so that I can do those things?

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So it's both inside out and outside in.

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Okay Now, if I remember right, you had said actually in your family, basically everybody, but you was in the military right.

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My mother was not.

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My dad and my brother were Okay, okay, yeah, dad was Air Force, brother was Navy.

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Got it.

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Well then this may work pretty well.

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You've probably seen it from both perspectives or maybe even had conversations about it.

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There's a lot of discipline in the military and I'm sure it trickled down to you guys as kids inadvertently.

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But all of that, once you no longer have to stand by behind in support of that same degree of discipline, everybody's military career ends eventually.

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Then having that discipline to follow through with whatever intuition your body's telling you to change and fix and whatever, like Bob, we're not the same body we used to be.

00:10:07.153 --> 00:10:12.407
Let's get our act together, type moments, yeah, how is that transition?

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Because I think it's one thing.

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If you're already in a routine, you've grown into your sense of self.

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You know you went to whatever.

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You went to school, you went to college, you got a job, you got married, you had kids, you do your thing, you live your life.

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But I think the military delays that process.

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You don't have the same independence, you don't have the same responsibility, you don't have the same need to self-discipline and regulate, because it's done for you.

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So, unless you take initiative and some degree of drive, maybe, and goal setting, you really don't have to.

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The food's going to be not always good but healthy enough.

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You're always going to exercise.

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You know what I mean.

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The habits are planned for you.

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Is it the same shift?

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Wow, that is a deep question, Josh.

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I've never thought about this.

00:10:53.972 --> 00:11:06.863
So, yes, I'll say a yes, and I think there are two things that happen.

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One is military.

00:11:07.245 --> 00:11:07.586
Yeah, absolutely.

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I could see where that is the case.

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I can see that in my brother as well, that when he was in the Navy for several years, all of that, like you say, it was planned.

00:11:12.302 --> 00:11:18.923
It's like even on a submarine you're having to do training and then when you get out, you've got to figure out how to do it on your own.

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Even for a civilian, though, until we hit about age 30, you can get away with not having a lot of self-discipline.

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You can get away with eating whatever and not thinking about it, not, you know, working too long of an hours and not taking care of yourself, and then, somewhere around somewhere between 30 and, say, 35, your body starts going hello Bob, we can't quite do what we did when we were 20 anymore.

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Right.

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All right, folks, sit tight and we'll be right back on Transacting Value.

00:11:52.191 --> 00:12:00.125
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00:12:51.490 --> 00:12:56.202
And then somewhere around, somewhere between 30 and say, 35, your body starts going.

00:12:56.202 --> 00:13:00.961
Hello Bob, we can't quite do what we did when we were 20 anymore.

00:13:01.971 --> 00:13:03.498
Yeah, no more staying up late.

00:13:03.498 --> 00:13:06.458
Some of those things, though, you don't have a choice.

00:13:06.458 --> 00:13:17.035
And so that potential burnout, that incongruence let let's call it between our routines and how our body treats it thanks, is necessary.

00:13:17.035 --> 00:13:25.488
Like you're an adult now, you're taking care of kids, or you're taking care of lifestylisms, or you're just working two jobs to try to make ends meet.

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You know, whatever it is, it's necessary sometimes.

00:13:28.017 --> 00:13:29.943
And so then what?

00:13:29.943 --> 00:13:33.153
At that point, I think self-discipline is a luxury, it's survival.

00:13:33.153 --> 00:13:36.000
At that point, and so is that still even a factor?

00:13:36.000 --> 00:13:36.581
How do you see that?

00:13:37.169 --> 00:13:44.875
Let me first make sure I'm understanding what you're saying, that when someone is, are you talking about coming out of military?

00:13:45.395 --> 00:13:48.291
Not necessarily just in a general sense, right?

00:13:48.291 --> 00:13:57.961
Sometimes that degree of stress that you put on your body is out of necessity, because you have to, but so then taking care of yourself becomes the luxury you can't afford.

00:13:58.610 --> 00:14:00.057
Okay, now I've got you.

00:14:00.057 --> 00:14:29.783
It may seem like it's the luxury that you can't afford, and if you're talking about self-care in the sense of bubble baths and leisurely three-week vacations or things like that, okay, maybe we can't all do that, but what I have definitely found is that there is and I used the phrase ROI earlier there is the place that a case of diminishing returns.

00:14:29.783 --> 00:14:31.052
I'll do this.

00:14:31.052 --> 00:14:44.201
There's a client that, because she had not been taking care of herself, she ended up with high blood pressure, high cholesterol, on her way to diabetes, all these things.

00:14:44.201 --> 00:14:52.571
Because she was working, working, working and running a business, running her family involved in the community, all those things, know, running a business, running her family, involved in the community, all those things.

00:14:53.432 --> 00:15:01.756
She started having less energy, as well as these health issues, and she was like Sheri, I got to do something, but I have no time.

00:15:01.756 --> 00:15:10.134
To her, it felt like taking the time for those things would be a luxury, but if she didn't, she was on a path for destruction.

00:15:10.134 --> 00:15:23.097
So for her, as an example, for her exercise, when you looked at her schedule, Josh, you could not find a single hour stretch that she had it, just it wasn't there.

00:15:23.097 --> 00:15:33.061
However, she did have five minutes here, five minutes there, 10 minute, you know, able to take 10 minute breaks because there's only so long that your brain can function.

00:15:33.061 --> 00:15:37.005
Before you need to be able to go do stuff and move.

00:15:37.005 --> 00:15:46.491
So that was how we built it in and she lost four dress sizes, got off of numerous medications, everything turned around.

00:15:46.491 --> 00:15:56.186
So it did take discipline, but it was not the luxury category of oh, I'm going to the gym and having two hours to myself to do this.

00:15:56.186 --> 00:15:59.940
No, that wasn't what hers looked like, but it still had to be a priority.

00:16:00.500 --> 00:16:02.674
Okay, but then I don't know.

00:16:02.674 --> 00:16:03.658
I've tried it before.

00:16:03.658 --> 00:16:07.316
I'm sure you hear that often, right, Especially in the diet world.

00:16:07.316 --> 00:16:08.455
I've tried that before.

00:16:08.455 --> 00:16:09.575
I've tried all sorts of things.

00:16:09.575 --> 00:16:10.197
Nothing works.

00:16:10.197 --> 00:16:18.519
I'm just afraid if I try something different I'm just going to end up worse off.

00:16:18.519 --> 00:16:18.759
So I'm good.

00:16:18.759 --> 00:16:20.125
It becomes this sort of comfortable pattern of self-neglect.

00:16:20.125 --> 00:16:20.346
What then?

00:16:20.346 --> 00:16:21.431
How do you work through some of that?

00:16:22.171 --> 00:16:23.393
Oh my gosh, this is so good.

00:16:23.393 --> 00:16:26.916
Oh, this speaks to the fear of failure.

00:16:26.916 --> 00:16:34.004
It speaks to the self-worth piece of it Am I worth taking care of?

00:16:34.004 --> 00:16:57.000
It speaks to the listening to and this is a little bit of that conflict piece, because there is conflict where everything you read in the media says you've got to do it X way, and maybe that's keto, maybe that's paleo, maybe that's carnivore, maybe that's vegan, maybe that's, you know, whatever it is that you're reading or that your friends are doing.

00:16:58.250 --> 00:17:17.900
And when you're doing all those things or trying to do all those things, and it's not working for you, it is so easy, you're so right, it's so easy to fall into that pattern of this is not working and I'm scared if I try this again, it's not going to work or you get the mentality.

00:17:17.900 --> 00:17:23.817
One of the things that I just drill into my folks is your actions teach you what to believe.

00:17:23.817 --> 00:17:40.006
And if you say that you are going to go run or walk or lift weights or eat a certain way or whatever, by when you follow through with that, when you do that, that action is teaching you I'm capable of this.

00:17:40.006 --> 00:17:43.775
That action is teaching you I can do this.

00:17:43.775 --> 00:17:46.540
I'm somebody who will come through for myself.

00:17:47.182 --> 00:18:16.401
The flip of that is also true, and that is where, when all of the diet gurus are saying, do this one, and psychologically, when you try dieting, in your brain, the way we're wired, you're set up we talked about this a little bit on the last time we were chatting too is when you try to follow something that is an external rule, you end up rebelling against it because it's crossing a boundary.

00:18:16.401 --> 00:18:19.505
So you're setting yourself up to fail.

00:18:19.505 --> 00:18:30.623
So then you don't take that action and then you begin to see yourself as somebody who doesn't have any control over themselves with food or who doesn't have the willpower to go work out when they don't feel like it.

00:18:30.623 --> 00:18:31.663
Thoughts on that.

00:18:32.265 --> 00:18:36.877
Yeah, well, for one, I agree that that exists at a sort of simple answer.

00:18:36.877 --> 00:18:54.494
But to have an opportunity I'll call it an opportunity loosely here but to have an opportunity within certain constraints and tolerances for each individual person, where you're able to fail successfully, ie learn something out of it, not be defeated is uncommon.

00:18:54.494 --> 00:18:56.480
I was talking to a guy about this.

00:18:56.480 --> 00:18:59.173
He actually writes with me on a magazine called Firewatch.

00:18:59.173 --> 00:19:18.009
His name's Kurt Waterstradt and he got out of the Navy I think it was 20 years Sorry, Kurt, I don't remember, but I'm pretty sure it was 20 years and did nothing after that with the military, any clearances, any associations to rank and all these other war stories that he had.

00:19:18.009 --> 00:19:20.198
He distanced himself from people.

00:19:20.198 --> 00:19:24.401
Now he teaches yoga classes in a prison.

00:19:24.401 --> 00:19:26.395
Wow, yeah, that's what I said.

00:19:26.395 --> 00:19:30.318
Right, but the more we got to talking and writes byways, an article for Firewatch and some other things too.

00:19:30.318 --> 00:19:32.471
But as we got to talking, well, and writes byways, an article for firewatch and some other things too.

00:19:32.510 --> 00:19:48.603
But but as we got to talking, one of the things, one of the points we came around to which I thought was pretty poignant and pretty interesting here in this conversation as well, you don't know whoever you is right you don't know what you're not capable of.

00:19:48.603 --> 00:19:54.082
You don't have to ever know what you're capable of because there's so many variables and options and choices, you can do whatever you want.

00:19:54.082 --> 00:19:56.212
I don't know You're capable of surfing.

00:19:56.212 --> 00:19:58.846
I mean there's paraplegic surfers, you know what I mean.

00:19:58.846 --> 00:19:59.608
There's Paralympics.

00:19:59.608 --> 00:20:04.519
You can do whatever you want, but you don't know what you're incapable of.

00:20:04.519 --> 00:20:08.034
And so really that's the bigger challenge, because then you just try everything.

00:20:08.034 --> 00:20:08.977
You're like well, failed at that.

00:20:08.977 --> 00:20:09.838
Well, failed at that.

00:20:09.838 --> 00:20:10.559
Well, failed at that.

00:20:11.281 --> 00:20:19.530
And on one hand you can take it negatively, like I'm never joining the military because it's too hard or because it looks like it's going to be too rough, too demanding.

00:20:19.530 --> 00:20:21.836
To fill in the blank, okay, don't.

00:20:21.836 --> 00:20:25.511
I'm not speaking for anybody else in this point but myself and Kurt.

00:20:25.511 --> 00:20:47.393
But I'm willing to bet there's plenty of other people with military experience that can look back, maybe don't want to relive it, but can look back and say you know what, if it weren't for high stress positions and a high stress occupation and exposure to those catalysts or variables or whatever, I never would have known my threshold and my tolerance and what it was.

00:20:47.393 --> 00:20:50.796
And now I can't undo it, I've leveled up and what it was, and now I can't undo it.

00:20:50.796 --> 00:20:55.460
I've leveled up, I'm incapable of going backwards, and I think that is a powerful point.

00:20:55.500 --> 00:21:01.005
You learn what you're incapable of doing and in this case, going backwards, ie losing discipline.

00:21:01.005 --> 00:21:14.734
Once you see yourself I think this is my point here Once you see yourself as worthy of something like good treatment, health, wellness, whatever perspectives you want to embody, you can't unsee that you can't be unworthy.

00:21:14.734 --> 00:21:16.634
After that, nothing tears you back down.

00:21:16.634 --> 00:21:17.958
That is good.

00:21:17.958 --> 00:21:19.080
That's it.

00:21:19.080 --> 00:21:30.298
Like you hit the $1,000, $5,000, $10,000, who wants to be a millionaire levels you know what I mean Like you're not leaving with less than that and I think everybody can get there.

00:21:32.309 --> 00:21:34.719
But I think the power is once you get there, you can't ever go backwards.

00:21:34.719 --> 00:21:46.880
And then you just wait for the next challenge and you're like, well, it can't be that bad and did those things, and I think to the point you just brought up to be able to get up early one morning and actually do it.

00:21:46.880 --> 00:21:55.523
Put on your running shoes, close the front door with you on the outside of the house, and then the next day you're like, well, I don't want to get up, but I can't go backwards.

00:21:55.523 --> 00:21:57.532
Now I know I've done it.

00:21:57.532 --> 00:22:06.064
There is more to me, maybe there is something here, and so I guess my question to you then is what relevance does that actually have?

00:22:06.064 --> 00:22:11.037
Because obviously my experience is militaristic, so I can't speak for many other platform.

00:22:11.037 --> 00:22:12.138
Am I close?

00:22:12.138 --> 00:22:12.760
Does it?

00:22:12.800 --> 00:22:13.201
resonate.

00:22:13.201 --> 00:22:22.930
So it resonates because one of the things that's very clear in the research and that I help my clients with is making that identity shift.

00:22:22.930 --> 00:22:29.353
Now what's interesting was you mentioned okay, you put on the running shoes and you go out the door one day.

00:22:29.353 --> 00:22:41.101
Okay, you put on the running shoes and you go out the door one day, that does not make you a runner, because how many people have run on Monday and then not run again until January 1st the next year?

00:22:41.101 --> 00:23:10.479
But when you make that identity shift, like what you were just talking about, where once you've gotten to a point you can't undo it, you can't see yourself a different way, the way that the brain rewires for that you all listening you're not going to like what I'm about to tell you, but it's the truth so we can work with it is it takes close to six months for that full rewiring to take place of an identity shift.

00:23:10.479 --> 00:23:13.503
So one of the things that I'm just a tip.

00:23:13.503 --> 00:23:30.895
Here's a huge tip I really encourage you do this, write this down If you are wanting to make an identity shift in some area of your life is take whatever it is that you're wanting to do, put all the support around that you can Earlier we were talking about you know put all the support around that you can Earlier we were talking about.

00:23:30.895 --> 00:23:35.061
You know what can you do inside, what outside things can you bring in to help you?

00:23:35.061 --> 00:23:43.680
All of the pieces inside out, all of the pieces to support you for six months to do whatever shift it is you want to do.

00:23:43.680 --> 00:23:48.878
And when you've made it to the six month mark, your brain will have rewired and you'll be there.

00:23:48.878 --> 00:23:55.196
So, if you are, we'll just take the running thing, because that's an easy one to play with.

00:23:55.196 --> 00:24:03.430
If you are wanting to have the identity of a runner, if you want to have the identity of somebody who exercises on a regular basis, you know it's.

00:24:03.430 --> 00:24:04.872
I always use the phrase.

00:24:04.872 --> 00:24:08.778
You know, I'm not Sheri who exercises, I'm Sheri the exerciser.

00:24:08.778 --> 00:24:09.819
Exercise is I'm Sheri the exerciser.

00:24:09.819 --> 00:24:12.163
That's part of who I am, it's part of my DNA.

00:24:12.163 --> 00:24:21.695
Now that type of rewiring comes because I've done it consistently for so long.

00:24:21.717 --> 00:24:22.599
I had a woman who came up to me.

00:24:22.599 --> 00:24:23.001
This was years ago.

00:24:23.001 --> 00:24:25.810
She came up to me at a fitness center and, josh, she was so excited.

00:24:25.810 --> 00:24:28.155
She was like, oh my gosh, this stuff really works.

00:24:28.155 --> 00:24:29.077
I'm like what?

00:24:29.077 --> 00:24:29.679
What are you talking about?

00:24:29.679 --> 00:24:29.979
Tell me.

00:24:29.979 --> 00:24:34.057
She said I'd always been one of those on again, off again exercisers.

00:24:34.057 --> 00:24:37.619
I'd always been somebody who tried it.

00:24:37.730 --> 00:24:39.990
We were talking earlier about the failure piece of you know.

00:24:39.990 --> 00:24:41.557
She tried, failed, tried, failed.

00:24:41.557 --> 00:24:42.951
She said.

00:24:42.951 --> 00:24:57.673
But this time I put all those supports in place that we talked about and, josh, if you want, we can go into those supports later.

00:24:57.673 --> 00:25:00.442
But she put all these supports in place and she said I went on a two-week business trip, completely out of my routine.

00:25:00.442 --> 00:25:01.003
Nothing was the same.

00:25:01.003 --> 00:25:02.750
I came back and on Sunday this was a Monday I was talking to her.

00:25:02.750 --> 00:25:09.392
She came back on that Sunday she packed a healthy lunch, she packed her work bag and she packed her gym bag.

00:25:09.392 --> 00:25:14.491
And on Monday afternoon she's in the middle of her workout when it hits her Dang.

00:25:14.491 --> 00:25:15.474
I'm at the gym.

00:25:15.474 --> 00:25:16.358
How did this happen?

00:25:16.358 --> 00:25:20.778
I didn't have to have Post-it notes, I didn't have to have notifications going off reminded me.

00:25:20.778 --> 00:25:23.439
She's like I finished work and I just came.

00:25:23.439 --> 00:25:24.955
It's now who I am.

00:25:24.955 --> 00:25:28.820
And it was because she had put those supports in place for several months.

00:25:32.630 --> 00:25:34.516
All right, folks sit tight and we'll be right back on Transacting Value.

00:25:34.516 --> 00:25:41.869
Join us for Transacting Value, where we discuss practical applications of personal values, every Monday at 9 am on our website, transactingvaluepodcast.

00:25:41.869 --> 00:25:43.616
com.

00:25:43.616 --> 00:25:46.691
Wednesdays at 5 pm and Sundays at noon on wreathsacrossamerica.

00:25:46.691 --> 00:25:49.701
org/ radio

00:25:52.310 --> 00:25:53.738
dang, I'm at the gym.

00:25:53.917 --> 00:25:54.662
How did this happen?

00:25:54.662 --> 00:25:59.076
I didn't have to have post-it notes, I didn't have to have notifications going off reminded me.

00:25:59.076 --> 00:26:01.722
She's like I finished work and I just came.

00:26:01.722 --> 00:26:07.083
It's now who I am and it was because she had put those supports in place for several months.

00:26:07.829 --> 00:26:10.718
So here's a cool point I've been working with a business coach.

00:26:10.718 --> 00:26:13.334
So I moved down to Florida I don't know if I told you that a couple months ago.

00:26:13.334 --> 00:26:22.851
So I was in Virginia last time we talked, moved down to Florida, that's the point.

00:26:22.851 --> 00:26:23.051
Nice, yeah.

00:26:23.051 --> 00:26:37.770
But I got in touch actually with a SCORE mentor, small business administration, score okay, with a SCORE mentor and he told me about economic development centers and he said if you want to work through your business model, like in this case for my media company or you know, even specifically or indirectly, the podcast, get up with the Economic Development Center.

00:26:37.770 --> 00:26:41.199
And I'd had a guy actually at a Joplin, his name's Doug.

00:26:41.199 --> 00:26:43.711
He came on here, he works in the Economic Development Center.

00:26:43.711 --> 00:26:51.121
So a couple of people had told me this right, and I said, okay, you guys are obviously professionals, but on some level I didn't see it through.

00:26:51.121 --> 00:26:58.594
I mean it just, I see value there, but there's other things I got to prioritize first Move down here, get in touch with the economic development center.

00:26:58.594 --> 00:27:04.099
So now I've got this small business coach helping me work through a business plan the last couple of months.

00:27:04.730 --> 00:27:13.554
Anyway, my point is the points you just brought up, identifying these small little changes and eventually it just becomes part of who you are.

00:27:13.554 --> 00:27:21.723
It's the same thing in business and marketing to a degree as brand identity and awareness.

00:27:21.723 --> 00:27:23.066
You know what I mean.

00:27:23.066 --> 00:27:29.496
Once you identify not in any particular order, I guess, but once you identify who are you actually appealing to?

00:27:29.496 --> 00:27:32.500
Not who do you want to appeal to, but who are you actually appealing to?

00:27:32.500 --> 00:27:36.400
What's the demographic or what's the psychographic in some cases?

00:27:36.400 --> 00:27:40.596
And then Probably more important, psychographic yeah, I think so too, yeah.

00:27:40.596 --> 00:27:42.861
And then what's the problem set?

00:27:42.861 --> 00:27:43.971
Why do they care?

00:27:43.971 --> 00:27:46.357
What's their pain point and how are you addressing it?

00:27:46.357 --> 00:27:50.038
What are the alternatives and why would they go with the alternatives or why would they go with you?

00:27:50.038 --> 00:27:53.755
What differentiates the two options or the multiple options, if that exists.

00:27:54.275 --> 00:28:10.978
You know your competition, direct and indirect, and once you've identified these supports in a business development example, but to what you're describing you're more likely going to be able to narrow down, hone in, refine your own corporate or business organizational identity.

00:28:10.978 --> 00:28:23.051
And I think it's one thing to talk about people making small changes in a sort of I don't know self-help, individual, humanistic kind of way and then shy away from it and say I'm tired of hearing about these things.

00:28:23.051 --> 00:28:23.997
I got to get back to work.

00:28:23.997 --> 00:28:25.605
Okay, well, you're doing it at work too.

00:28:25.605 --> 00:28:37.303
The concepts are time-tested enough, and I don't know if cross-industrial is a word, but across different industries, I guess enough that there's got to be some truth to them conceptually.

00:28:37.691 --> 00:28:40.821
Yeah, absolutely, and there's tons of research.

00:28:40.821 --> 00:28:56.575
Everything that I teach my clients and coach them through is all research based and anything that shows up in the research like that, whether it's in business or personal or whatever it's going to keep showing up, because who makes up business People?

00:29:01.450 --> 00:29:01.631
Exactly.

00:29:01.631 --> 00:29:02.797
Yep, it's like I talked to a guy last year on the show.

00:29:02.797 --> 00:29:07.896
We were talking about a tech influence with kids His name's Casey and we were talking about Roblox the company and the gaming platform specifically.

00:29:07.896 --> 00:29:22.541
But it's the same point where, initially, we got to talking about the dangers and the threats that you know increased gaming can have, or Roblox too much time on a, you know, whatever phone or tablet could be to kids or to adults, it doesn't matter.

00:29:22.970 --> 00:29:25.978
There's plenty of 40 year old gamers and they're perfectly fine and sociable.

00:29:25.978 --> 00:29:30.621
Oh, yeah, yeah, but we started talking about that and then we started to peel it back.

00:29:30.621 --> 00:29:41.424
Like you know, all the things that they could be learning with a little bit of critical thought and inquiry in those games is really still just social sciences, because it's people that design the games.

00:29:41.424 --> 00:29:47.742
It's no different than going to the market or to the park and interacting with kids there.

00:29:47.742 --> 00:29:51.160
It's people to people in a really generic, loose sense.

00:29:51.160 --> 00:29:56.534
But the concepts transmute the platform and I think that's a lot of what you're describing too Like.

00:29:56.534 --> 00:30:16.696
Yeah, specifically, sleep, diet, self-worth are individual, humanistic type things, but the fact that you can build up supports to change how you view yourself and start to gain an education that there's more than one way to get to the same end, more you know what's the different means to an end.

00:30:16.696 --> 00:30:18.231
I think is huge.

00:30:18.231 --> 00:30:20.457
But so you said research based.

00:30:20.457 --> 00:30:21.599
Where do you go?

00:30:21.599 --> 00:30:25.858
You're talking about reading books, self help books, talking to other people, seminars what do you even?

00:30:25.858 --> 00:30:26.721
What does that mean?

00:30:27.170 --> 00:30:28.714
Great, great question.

00:30:28.714 --> 00:30:29.215
No, there's.

00:30:29.215 --> 00:30:32.847
There's actually tons in psychology journals.

00:30:32.847 --> 00:30:38.641
There have actually been a lot of studies done on the different pieces of.

00:30:38.641 --> 00:30:40.751
So let's go back to the running example.

00:30:41.173 --> 00:30:48.212
So one of the supports that you would put in place is that you want it to be enjoyable.

00:30:48.212 --> 00:30:49.915
Because what do we do?

00:30:49.915 --> 00:30:53.343
We run from pain, we run to pleasure.

00:30:53.343 --> 00:30:55.291
In the long run, that's what we do.

00:30:55.291 --> 00:30:57.839
You know, I've worked in cardiac rehab for a while.

00:30:58.410 --> 00:31:05.914
You would think that the fear that comes up after somebody has a heart attack would be enough for lifelong motivation for taking care of yourself.

00:31:05.914 --> 00:31:06.718
It's not.

00:31:06.718 --> 00:31:09.157
It can't be the pain of that.

00:31:09.157 --> 00:31:11.604
It has to be the pleasure of self-love.

00:31:11.604 --> 00:31:17.460
It has to be the pleasure of some type of love-based motivation.

00:31:17.519 --> 00:31:32.603
So if somebody says that they want to start running on a regular basis and they say, well, the only place I have to run is a treadmill and that bores me to tears, they're not going to do it.

00:31:32.603 --> 00:31:36.895
If they're able to find a park because they happen to like nature, they are going to be much more likely to do it because they do it.

00:31:36.895 --> 00:31:40.693
If they're able to find a park because they happen to like nature, they are going to be much more likely to do it because they enjoy it.

00:31:40.693 --> 00:31:47.018
Or maybe they don't like exercising, maybe they just don't like really doing things by themselves.

00:31:47.018 --> 00:31:49.171
Maybe they prefer to do things in a group.

00:31:49.171 --> 00:31:53.280
So for them, what's going to make it enjoyable is being in a running group.

00:31:53.280 --> 00:31:56.136
That's one of the supports that you put in place.

00:31:56.136 --> 00:31:59.655
It's how do I make this activity enjoyable for me?

00:32:00.317 --> 00:32:01.760
And fluidly integrated.

00:32:01.760 --> 00:32:07.012
Yes, I think it has to be some degree of balance between the two.

00:32:07.012 --> 00:32:09.960
For example, I talked with a guy the other day.

00:32:09.960 --> 00:32:23.421
He got diagnosed with cancer and, you know, initially obviously there was some shock shock factor, but once that faded a bit later on in the day, his initial coping mechanism was smoking, because that's been his go-to.

00:32:23.421 --> 00:32:41.076
And when I asked him or talked to him a little bit more about it and said you know, that's unfortunate, I mean, it's not spreading and it's likely operable, which cool, but smoking's probably not going to help, and he said, yeah, well, I don't want to die.

00:32:41.076 --> 00:32:50.237
And his coping towards or in spite of the fear was not in support of I want to live.

00:32:50.237 --> 00:32:53.923
And I think that is a pretty thin line.

00:32:53.923 --> 00:33:03.701
But differentiating the perspective between the two changes everything and the fluidity, let alone just the enjoyment, or towards that passion point.

00:33:04.303 --> 00:33:08.421
I think the fluidity helps too, because then, under what circumstances did you go to smoke?

00:33:08.421 --> 00:33:09.875
Well, I woke up and got out of bed.

00:33:09.875 --> 00:33:12.680
Well, you can't change that, but maybe don't go outside first thing.

00:33:12.680 --> 00:33:15.035
Somebody else can get the paper, somebody else can get the trash.

00:33:15.035 --> 00:33:15.656
Can you know what I mean?

00:33:15.656 --> 00:33:16.915
Stay inside a little longer.

00:33:16.915 --> 00:33:20.180
Well, side.

00:33:20.180 --> 00:33:21.560
First thing, somebody else can get the paper, somebody else can get the trash.

00:33:21.560 --> 00:33:21.881
Can you know what I mean?

00:33:21.881 --> 00:33:22.151
Stay inside a little longer?

00:33:22.151 --> 00:33:23.101
Well, I only ever drank coffee when I smoked.

00:33:23.050 --> 00:33:25.240
Well, switch to tea, then you know there's other options, right, and so then it's more fluid into your routine.

00:33:25.240 --> 00:33:28.164
You're not going out of your way to avoid it, sort of like you said.

00:33:28.164 --> 00:33:30.771
You're not running away from pain points.

00:33:30.771 --> 00:33:31.993
It's not so drastic.

00:33:31.993 --> 00:33:37.463
You're pulling a hamstring, metaphorically, but like you'll warm up to it, a little bit sort of like grief stages.

00:33:37.463 --> 00:33:38.385
You know what I mean.

00:33:38.385 --> 00:33:47.673
You give yourself a gradual opportunity to process at your own pace, in a way that works for you, in a space and time that you need, and eventually you move away from it.

00:33:47.673 --> 00:33:58.983
Do you think, in gaining that kind of acceptance though I don't know, are there any dangers to that in terms of health or mentality or perspective in any sense, to gaining that kind of acceptance?

00:33:59.769 --> 00:34:01.498
Gaining acceptance of what.

00:34:02.290 --> 00:34:04.057
A new identity, a change in routine.

00:34:04.711 --> 00:34:31.139
Well, if you are choosing something that you really, really want and you are changing your identity around that and there are people in your life that don't want you to make that change, I would say that is probably the danger to creating a new identity, the danger to having that identity shift.

00:34:31.139 --> 00:34:32.996
And in fact it's interesting.

00:34:32.996 --> 00:34:39.362
That's actually one of the supports that you have to put in place to help you make the change that you want to make.

00:34:39.362 --> 00:34:43.119
And that is who is on this ride with me.

00:34:43.119 --> 00:35:07.315
And you know it's like, if you have and I've had clients like this before where one spouse wants to start eating healthy and wants to start going for walks after dinner, start eating healthy and wants to start going for walks after dinner, and the other spouse is like, no, I still want to eat the junk food that we've been eating and I still want to just sit and watch TV.

00:35:07.335 --> 00:35:20.572
And being able to maneuver that and negotiate, that can get interesting at times, because some people you can say, okay, I'm going to lose this set of friends, but I'm going to gain a new set of friends who have this identity.

00:35:20.572 --> 00:35:27.231
That's a moving in, that support of who is going to be with me on this journey.

00:35:27.231 --> 00:35:34.378
But some people you can't really switch that easily, because they're your kids or your spouse or your parents or something like that.

00:35:34.378 --> 00:35:46.177
Yeah, okay, but yeah, I would say that is the only danger of adopting a new identity, as long as the identity that you are moving toward adopting is one that is healthy for you.

00:35:47.550 --> 00:35:50.036
All right, folks, sit tight and we'll be right back on Transacting Value.

00:35:52.291 --> 00:35:56.317
You've heard it said he's a diamond in the rough, or maybe diamonds are forever.

00:35:56.317 --> 00:36:04.842
Here's something else I've learned about diamonds they're just pieces of coal put under pressure for a long, long, long time.

00:36:04.842 --> 00:36:09.802
So when I start feeling like I want to give up, I think about that little piece of coal.

00:36:09.802 --> 00:36:16.023
And if that piece of coal can make something of itself by not giving up, so can I.

00:36:16.023 --> 00:36:18.496
Persistence is in you.

00:36:18.496 --> 00:36:19.891
From PassItOn.

00:36:19.891 --> 00:36:20.592
com.

00:36:22.376 --> 00:36:33.291
Yeah, I would say that is the only danger of adopting a new identity, as long as the identity that you are moving toward adopting is one that is healthy for you.

00:36:33.775 --> 00:36:34.896
Oh yeah, ok, yeah, that's fair.

00:36:34.896 --> 00:36:38.961
So the context in the context of this conversation, that's what we're talking about.

00:36:38.961 --> 00:36:42.786
Not like I'm going to pick up my pro card for the MMA tomorrow, guys.

00:36:42.786 --> 00:36:46.791
Like no, I would die, but yeah, within the context of this conversation.

00:36:46.954 --> 00:36:49.362
We'll have to watch for the rest of us, but yeah, not so good.

00:36:50.014 --> 00:36:52.442
Yeah, I might enjoy the video after the fact, you know.

00:36:52.442 --> 00:37:06.945
But yeah, so the inherent conflict that you said spouses, you said kids, and I think it's different with kids, because they're there for the ride for 17 and a half years, generally right, they're not going to change anything or go out of their way.

00:37:06.945 --> 00:37:09.235
They'll make fun of you, they'll mock you, they'll ride you for it and whatever.

00:37:09.235 --> 00:37:11.641
Okay, because kids are kids, but that's it.

00:37:11.641 --> 00:37:26.949
Like the example you brought up, though, if let's say, no words are said, right, the healthy diet, the healthy dinner, whatever changes for somebody, a spouse, and then the other spouse says I don't want to change anything, I want to even watch TV, okay.

00:37:26.949 --> 00:37:33.900
And your example let's say no words are said, you just make a healthier meal, you eat, and you get up and you're like, all right, well, I'm going to go for a walk.

00:37:33.900 --> 00:37:37.916
And then you just okay, but the other person doesn't go with you.

00:37:37.916 --> 00:37:43.085
You know, for any number of reasons, one time, not a big deal, twice in a week, not a big deal.

00:37:43.425 --> 00:37:45.969
But the trend then becomes well, hold on.

00:37:45.969 --> 00:37:49.621
Now I'm taking care of myself, I'm working to change things.

00:37:49.621 --> 00:37:50.304
What are you doing?

00:37:50.304 --> 00:37:53.217
Even if there's no problems, even if they're not overweight.

00:37:53.217 --> 00:38:06.485
There's just this potential for resentment and conflict and it just opens the door and I think it's easier to say I don't want that in my life, I'm just not going to stir the pot and then you go back to whatever was, like you said, more comfortable.

00:38:06.485 --> 00:38:08.168
How do you work through some of that?

00:38:08.168 --> 00:38:14.253
Because I got to assume a lot of wellness coaching isn't just about individuals, like you said, it's about the relationships we have as well.

00:38:14.253 --> 00:38:16.722
But what if you don't want those relationships to change?

00:38:16.722 --> 00:38:18.001
You just need to address them.

00:38:18.001 --> 00:38:19.536
How do you deal with that conflict?

00:38:20.115 --> 00:38:21.177
There's a certain level.

00:38:21.177 --> 00:38:25.561
If a couple is, we'll just stick with a couple example.

00:38:25.561 --> 00:38:32.246
Sure, If a couple has a emotionally healthy relationship, they have a good marriage.

00:38:32.246 --> 00:38:50.498
But it's just one person wants to do this and one person really doesn't want to make those changes, then it's just a healthy boundary issue of you go do your walk, you go eat your healthy stuff, I'm going to do what I'm going to do and all is fine, All is well.

00:38:50.498 --> 00:39:01.414
The conflict happens when there's not communication and the conflict happens when there's something else going on, when there's other resentment pieces.

00:39:01.414 --> 00:39:17.666
Because, like, even within a healthy marriage when I've worked with folks on this even within a healthy marriage, if one person is going out and walking, we'll just use that example going out and walking after dinner and the other person is not, but that was their time together as a couple.

00:39:17.666 --> 00:39:19.588
Now we've got to negotiate.

00:39:19.588 --> 00:39:20.335
We meaning them.

00:39:20.335 --> 00:39:21.478
I don't get involved in this.

00:39:21.478 --> 00:39:22.623
I'm not a marriage counselor.

00:39:22.903 --> 00:39:23.085
Right.

00:39:23.114 --> 00:39:24.119
But I do encourage them.

00:39:24.119 --> 00:39:35.478
I'm like, okay, if that was your time together, your spouse still needs time with you, so you all have to figure out a new way to connect, a new way to get that in if they're not going to walk with you.

00:39:36.963 --> 00:39:41.943
Yeah, okay, assuming the time overlaps and it's now not a fluid integration anymore.

00:39:41.943 --> 00:39:45.264
Yeah, then you got to supplement.

00:39:46.914 --> 00:39:47.396
Yes, there's going to be.

00:39:47.396 --> 00:39:55.809
It could be something different for every couple because a lot of that's going to depend on okay, are the kids still at home or are the kids growing in their empty nesters?

00:39:55.809 --> 00:40:03.708
It's going to look different how they could negotiate and maneuver, how they still connect, if that's the issue.

00:40:03.708 --> 00:40:08.398
Other times the person you know the spouse is no, I don't need that time to connect.

00:40:08.398 --> 00:40:14.840
This is great, because now I get time by myself in front of the TV and so it's just individual within the couples.

00:40:15.282 --> 00:40:28.809
Yeah, Okay, and then so when there's a detriment, you I don't know introduce supplements, right, Like board games, books, walks, whatever, to sort of keep people in a relationship.

00:40:29.474 --> 00:40:33.085
But then I mean they, they have to figure that out.

00:40:33.085 --> 00:40:38.447
I mean, I'm happy to have the conversation with whichever person I'm coaching, but I can't tell them what they need.

00:40:39.096 --> 00:40:39.335
OK.

00:40:39.335 --> 00:40:40.920
What about with an individual, though?

00:40:40.920 --> 00:40:51.282
Because then I've tried this, it hasn't worked, and you're like, yeah, well, we just got to commit to this for more than three weeks, tommy, it'll take some time, it'll be okay.

00:40:51.282 --> 00:40:54.949
Well then, I only have, like the story you brought up earlier.

00:40:54.949 --> 00:40:56.094
I only have so much time.

00:40:56.094 --> 00:41:09.606
I could barely find an hour together, so we break it up in five, 10 minute intervals, but now I definitely have no time to myself, because the time I did have, I'm sitting here doing a plank in the dirt.

00:41:09.606 --> 00:41:09.927
Thanks, Sheri.

00:41:09.927 --> 00:41:10.389
And so then what?

00:41:10.389 --> 00:41:17.425
How do you supplement the other hobbies, the quality time, the other activities that aren't physically or mentally or emotionally reinvigorating?

00:41:17.425 --> 00:41:22.405
I just like to read a book, but I can't do that now because I'm sweating all over the pages or whatever.

00:41:23.054 --> 00:41:23.596
That's funny.

00:41:23.596 --> 00:41:24.438
I love that example.

00:41:24.438 --> 00:41:27.387
So when we look at wellness, we look holistic.

00:41:27.835 --> 00:41:28.135
Okay.

00:41:28.817 --> 00:41:39.018
So we look at exercise, we look at nutrition, we look at meditation, we look at you mentioned the yoga earlier we look at everything that you're doing to help your physical and mental wellness.

00:41:39.018 --> 00:41:47.465
So I'll go back to this particular individual who, yes, we found those little times during the day for her to be able to walk.

00:41:47.465 --> 00:41:53.467
What was interesting was the way that she used to use that time.

00:41:53.467 --> 00:41:58.800
Was okay, my, you know, working on a project, my brain is slowing down.

00:41:58.800 --> 00:42:03.239
So then she'll scroll social media or she'll look at her emails and I don't know if you've ever done this, josh.

00:42:03.239 --> 00:42:04.786
You look at the same email five different times and it doesn't register.

00:42:04.786 --> 00:42:05.548
Because you've ever done this, josh.

00:42:05.548 --> 00:42:09.163
You look at the same email five different times and it doesn't register because your brain is so tired.

00:42:09.382 --> 00:42:09.603
Yeah.

00:42:10.157 --> 00:42:14.059
So it ended up helping her be more productive in her business.

00:42:14.059 --> 00:42:18.701
That she owned when she would go walk the dog, because she had her dog at work with her.

00:42:18.701 --> 00:42:31.630
When she would go walk the dog for five or 10 minutes, get out in the sunshine, come back in refreshed, it actually made her days go better because the ROI on that was so good, we weren't wasting any of that time.

00:42:31.630 --> 00:42:37.213
Then she still had the time and energy because she was doing those things to increase her energy.

00:42:37.213 --> 00:42:46.123
Then, when she got home and she had 10 or 15 minutes, okay, now I'm going to read a book, now I'm going to meditate.

00:42:46.123 --> 00:42:51.021
Now I'm going to do something for a different part of my wellness, because it all works together.

00:42:51.576 --> 00:42:53.041
That's one thing my little brother was telling me.

00:42:53.041 --> 00:42:55.021
He said I got to make time to his words.

00:42:55.021 --> 00:42:56.882
He said I got to make time to play video games.

00:42:56.882 --> 00:42:59.320
I said how can you do that, man, like you're almost 30.

00:42:59.320 --> 00:43:11.826
You work, you take care of the house, you do what you got to do, you work late, whatever, whatever.

00:43:11.826 --> 00:43:13.811
And he said, dude, without a doubt, I will not stop playing video games because it's my break.

00:43:13.811 --> 00:43:16.184
The majority of my projects at work are enduring projects, six, seven months before I see results.

00:43:16.184 --> 00:43:17.862
I need little victories, and video games give me that opportunity.

00:43:17.862 --> 00:43:20.427
And so he said that's how he supplements and it works for him.

00:43:20.427 --> 00:43:22.318
You know, 15, 20 minutes, whatever.

00:43:22.338 --> 00:43:24.005
That is fantastic yeah.

00:43:24.326 --> 00:43:29.960
Yeah, and there's, I think, all sorts of opportunities like that where we can find little outlets.

00:43:29.960 --> 00:43:41.737
Once we realize the good aspects of what our habits are or could contribute, I think, to our routines, then it's easy to parallel those or have other outlets, I think.

00:43:42.418 --> 00:44:03.885
You just said a super important word and I want everybody listening to hear the word that Josh just said contribute All the time, just be happy Well, not all the time, that would get obsessive but periodically, regularly check in and go is what I'm doing, contributing to the identity I want?

00:44:03.885 --> 00:44:06.025
Is what I'm doing, contributing to the life I want?

00:44:06.025 --> 00:44:06.331
So let's take those video games.

00:44:06.331 --> 00:44:07.454
Those video games are contributing to the identity I want Is what I'm doing, contributing to the life I want.

00:44:07.454 --> 00:44:08.820
So let's take those video games.

00:44:08.820 --> 00:44:14.025
Those video games are contributing to him at a 15, 20, 30 minute thing.

00:44:14.025 --> 00:44:23.202
However, if he was staying up until 3 am every day playing them, it wouldn't be the video games themselves, it would be how he was using them.

00:44:23.202 --> 00:44:25.422
That was not contributing to his life.

00:44:25.844 --> 00:44:26.045
Yeah.

00:44:26.135 --> 00:44:33.349
So just everybody really lean into that of just asking is what I'm doing right now contributing?

00:44:33.349 --> 00:45:00.038
Because let's take something that sounds as healthy as running If you are at a place in your life that you have all these responsibilities and what your goal is is to have more energy and to be generally healthy and to feel great and to decrease your risk of disease and all those kinds of things, but you decide that you're going to become an ultra marathoner, is training to run hundreds and hundreds of miles?

00:45:00.038 --> 00:45:03.144
Is that contributing to the rest of your life?

00:45:03.465 --> 00:45:04.547
No, no is the answer.

00:45:04.675 --> 00:45:06.179
Probably not in that case.

00:45:06.822 --> 00:45:08.585
Yeah, no, definitely Anything.

00:45:08.585 --> 00:45:10.449
You said hundreds, and I don't even want to drive that far.

00:45:10.449 --> 00:45:11.878
I'm.

00:45:11.878 --> 00:45:19.684
You know there's a healthy, I think, recognition of the difference between tolerance and threshold.

00:45:19.684 --> 00:45:25.605
I think my threshold outweighs my tolerance, but that, I suppose, could apply to anything.

00:45:25.605 --> 00:45:34.576
You know, Sheri, I appreciate the amount we were able to pack into this conversation, and you know it's like the health meter on a video game.

00:45:34.615 --> 00:45:36.079
I was thinking about this character.

00:45:36.079 --> 00:45:42.065
You try to sprint so far, you try to swim so far and your health just drops because you can't sustain it, and then you try to push through it.

00:45:42.065 --> 00:45:42.896
Eventually you die.

00:45:42.896 --> 00:46:00.204
That's how video games work, but I think with people it's a lot the same, where your brain you know, adenosine, triphosphate or whatever it is, the ATP in your brain just has to recharge, and you got to give it some time, otherwise you can't sustain whatever degree of output you're trying to exude, or do?

00:46:00.204 --> 00:46:01.668
I hadn't thought of that till now.

00:46:01.668 --> 00:46:03.440
But great point, Sheri, that's good.

00:46:03.440 --> 00:46:13.492
The other thing I want to bring up, though, for the sake of time for anybody else that wants to reach out to you, track down your videos I don't know if you're still doing your Real Wellness podcast or listen to you.

00:46:13.811 --> 00:46:14.878
Oh, yeah, absolutely.

00:46:15.097 --> 00:46:16.784
Okay, where do people go?

00:46:16.784 --> 00:46:21.318
How do people find you, how do people hear more about what you're talking about or become a client?

00:46:21.478 --> 00:46:22.900
Fantastic question.

00:46:22.900 --> 00:46:29.130
So best place is to just land on my website, because that houses everything.

00:46:29.130 --> 00:46:35.262
It is the Vireo life T-H-E-V-I-R-E-O life.

00:46:35.262 --> 00:46:41.315
com, and Vireo means I flourish, I thrive, I am strong and active.

00:46:41.315 --> 00:46:51.621
So if you want a life that flourishes, that thrives and that keeps you strong and active, check out all my stuff, because I've got videos, I've got my podcast, real Wellness, I've got blogs.

00:46:51.621 --> 00:47:06.061
Then my services are coaching and speaking, and if you've got questions about things that Josh and I talked about today, just reach out to me, Sheri at theveryallifecom, s-h-e-r-i, or DM me on any of my social medias.

00:47:06.621 --> 00:47:08.423
Where do you prefer which platforms?

00:47:08.804 --> 00:47:12.407
Platforms where I'm hanging out are Instagram, linkedin and Facebook.

00:47:12.907 --> 00:47:13.128
All right.

00:47:13.128 --> 00:47:25.543
So for anybody new to the show or new to, I don't know, podcasting and social media, maybe, depending on the platform you're streaming this conversation on, click see more, click show more, and in that paragraph that drops down under the player.

00:47:25.543 --> 00:47:26.125
Those are the show notes.

00:47:26.125 --> 00:47:31.978
So in there you'll find links to Sheri's website, the VarioLife Real Wellness Podcast, and obviously to her social.

00:47:31.978 --> 00:47:36.199
You guys will be able to track her down there as well, if that's easier, and then you don't have to remember the names.

00:47:36.199 --> 00:47:39.596
You can find them there, take screenshots and bookmark them yourself later.

00:47:39.596 --> 00:47:42.719
All right, so, Sheri, I love it.

00:47:42.719 --> 00:47:49.724
I'm so glad you came back and made some time in your schedule and I really just appreciated the conversation.

00:47:49.724 --> 00:47:50.804
I can't believe it's already.

00:47:50.804 --> 00:47:51.846
We're out of time.

00:47:52.507 --> 00:47:53.447
And it is amazing.

00:47:53.447 --> 00:47:56.469
I just looked at the clock and went, wow, we talked about a lot.

00:47:56.891 --> 00:48:05.757
Yeah, that's exactly what I was thinking, but I do appreciate it and I'm glad we got to where we did and in the future come back on, we'll dive into some more depth.

00:48:05.757 --> 00:48:06.719
I love it.

00:48:06.719 --> 00:48:12.244
We'll do it All right, sweet, but we'll talk some more about Real Wellness your podcast once we get off the air.

00:48:12.244 --> 00:48:13.445
I got a couple of questions for you.

00:48:13.445 --> 00:48:17.969
Otherwise, for everybody else, thank you guys for tuning in, listening to our conversation.

00:48:17.969 --> 00:48:25.179
Obviously, new listeners, continuing listeners thank you guys for staying around and listening to this conversation and all the rest of them.

00:48:25.179 --> 00:48:28.106
Guys, if you want to hear any more of our conversations, you can go to transactingvaluepodcast.

00:48:28.106 --> 00:48:29.708
com.

00:48:29.708 --> 00:48:32.081
You can find everything there on the website.

00:48:32.081 --> 00:48:36.762
Get in touch with us, leave a voicemail, track us down on Facebook, linkedin or YouTube.

00:48:36.762 --> 00:48:39.157
You guys will be able to get all sorts of information there as well.

00:48:39.780 --> 00:48:42.146
And until next time that was Transacting Value.

00:48:42.146 --> 00:49:17.592
Thank you to our show partners and folks.

00:49:17.592 --> 00:49:21.632
Thank you for tuning in and appreciating values on the Transacting Value Podcast.

00:49:21.632 --> 00:49:30.443
Head to wreathsacrossamericaorg/ transactingvalue to sponsor a wreath and remember, honor and teach the value of freedom for future generations.

00:49:30.443 --> 00:49:45.143
On behalf of our team and our global ambassadors, as you all strive to establish clarity and purpose, ensure social tranquility and secure the blessings of liberty or individual sovereignty of character for yourselves and your posterity.

00:49:45.143 --> 00:49:50.804
We will continue instigating self-worth and we'll meet you there Until next time.

00:49:50.804 --> 00:49:52.630
That was Transacting Value.

Sheri Traxler Profile Photo

Sheri Traxler

Founder

Sheri Traxler, M.Ed., holds her Master's Degree in Health Promotion, is an A.C.E. Certified Personal Trainer, an AASDN Nutrition Specialist and a Certified Intuitive Eating Counselor. She is a national speaker for the Medical Fitness Association and has taught fitness episodes for Viacom Cable. Sheri is one of those "fortunate folks" who knew from childhood what she wanted to do: help people stay well.

Sheri worked as an Exercise Physiologist, Membership Director and Weight Management Instructor at the Vanderbilt Health and Wellness Center for 12 years. She left Vanderbilt and began health coaching, personal training and teaching wellness workshops through her business, ViREO Life. She has been training and coaching private clients for over 25 years.

Some personal background: Her passion for exercise and healthy eating took a not-so-healthy turn in her childhood, with dieting, disordered eating and symptoms of anorexia by middle school. "I enjoyed exercise and how it gave me energy and made me feel strong. But because I worried about weight, I was constantly counting calories and fretting about food. I went on my first diet - to lose 2 pounds - at age 9. And I continued dieting until my mid-twenties when I read the books "Breaking Out of Food Jail" and "Diets Don't Work." I started learning about a normal relationship with food, while staying aware of the good nutrition information I had learned in my college courses."

So, she has a personal understanding to help people who want to stop … Read More