Empowerment to Redefine Success

If you wanna be become somebody that leaves a lasting imprint on the world, you need to go learn from other people. You don't understand them. You don't have to like them. You don't have to agree with them.

You just have to love them, and you can't do that until you learn from them. Alrighty, folks. Welcome back to Transacting Value where we're encouraging dialogue from different perspectives to unite over shared values.

Our theme for season 4 is intrinsic values. What your character is doing when you look yourself in the mirror? Now, if you're new to the podcast, welcome, And if you're a continuing listener, welcome back.

Today, we're talking our June core values of abundance, adventure, and prosperity. With chief strategist of EMPowered Group and author of now 4 books, Stephanie Fager.

So throughout her life, Stephanie has been In the business of empowering people and helping others uncover the power of their own success, essentially turning their what ifs into why not?

Our culture can paint an unrealistic definition of what it means to be successful and happy, leaving us unfilled and Always searching for more.

But what if life isn't about, how busy you make your days, how much you achieve, or what you're able to acquire?

Instead, what if a meaningful and extraordinary life can be found by simply acknowledging the moments of beauty that each day offers? Folks without further ado, I'm Porter. I'm your host, and this is transacting value.

Stephanie, how are you? How's your day? I'm awesome. It's warm here and that makes me happy. How was your day? Oh, here too. I think this is the first or second warm day we've had in probably, I don't know, the last week.

So really good, actually. And no tornadoes. We've had tornadoes about every Friday. It's not Friday yet, so, you know, it could be. But almost like every Friday in the last 2 insane. Jeez. Well, I'm glad you guys are doing okay.

That's huge. Yeah. Yeah. That's a couple crazy weeks for sure. So saying that for everybody listening though, obviously, you can't see Stephanie, and Stephanie, a lot of our listeners frankly may not even know who you are.

So How about we just start at the beginning? Who are you? And for that matter, where are you from? What sort of things have shaped your perspective? Well, when anybody goes, where are you from?

I always say, I'll give you 3 guesses and the first 2 don't count, and the reason I say that is usually the accent gives a little bit of an indication If we're too early in the chat, it's because once I get passionate, you'll hear the southern draw come out real strong, I'm sure.

But based here in Kentucky right outside of the local area where the Kentucky derby takes place. And my husband and I live on a 25 acre farm. And love it.

All we collect are cats. And and produce out here, but it's quite a it's quite a gem. You asked, you know, who are you? And, you know, before we started our chat today, you're kinda going through, like, what are your accolades?

What do we need to talk about? And I think I just scratched the surface, but it's a great time for me to tell you probably why I feel that way. In 20, 17, I was actually impacted by a massive corporate layoff.

That was like a pivotal moment of my life. Prior to that, I had done all the things and moved up the ladder and had the big title and everything on the outside looked awesome.

Like, if someone said, Stephanie, like, who are you? What do you do? Be, like, my my name's Stephanie, and I'm the director of da da da.

Right? Like, immediately afterwards, I would rattle off my title But the organization I worked at had a massive downsizing for years, and I was impacted by 1 that 600 people were as well.

Oh. Yeah. It was intense. Well, I go to this meeting probably a week later for people who were building a speaking business to learn more about it.

And I'm sitting in this circle and we have to introduce ourselves. We go around and I have CEOs and, like, lawyers and all these people in this room and I'm the last 1.

I'm like, hi. My name is Stephanie, and I just stopped. I'm like, and I have nothing else to give you because who I thought I was based on the title that the world had given me I was stripped of.

Like, that wasn't that I realized, really, there's so much more behind that on who we are. So I do have a like, I have a story to tell you now on what fills that gap, but I like to also say, like, we're not defined by those things.

Right? Like, how do you who are you really? And actually, when you talk about values, that's who we are, like, underneath it all. Like, that's who we are. So without sharing anything about, like, specifics, I'll give you a core value.

Actually, had a chat with someone today about. So I do live in the greater local area where Porter, I'm sure you heard what happened this week in Louisville with a shooting that happened.

I don't maybe you didn't at a bank, which was not far from 1 driving distance from here. And, you know, we live in a world where you spend a lot of stuff happening lately. So I've been real sad about it.

But I was chatting with a friend today who has a little kiddo and like a baby. And she said, you know, things change when you become a parent because now we have to we don't only have to process these things.

We have to explain them to the next generation to shape them. And I shared with her a tip, and I kind of think at the core, this is probably me, and I shared with her, you know, we don't have to understand.

We don't have to agree. We don't have to even seek to know, but how I raised my kids, my husband and I, how we raise our kids is really.

We just are called to love people. Just gotta love them. Mhmm. You have to like them. You gotta love them. Right? And so Who is Stephanie? Stephanie is over here just a woman with love.

Like, I just really like to see the good in people and I like to see the good in the moments and I believe everybody is inherently good. I mean, yes, there are I'm not a rainbows and butterflies kind of lady.

I do live in the in the soil. I I've ground. I don't live in the clouds. But I do think that love is at the cornerstone of what we do. And and it's a part of who have become professionally too. So I run a business post losing my job.

I was doing marketing and PR communications before that, and I published a book in 20 17, and all these authors came out of the woodwork, and now I get to run a business where I help authors market their books and spread the love, spread their messages, and change people, make an impact in the process.

And so that's in Power PR Group? In PowerPR Group. What a wild story. You know, sometimes all the things that, especially in the moment, specifically in any moment, I guess.

Feel like set us back. Mhmm. It's really more like a sling shot than it is a grounding stake. Already focused it tight, and we'll be right back on transacting value.

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And help support our show. You want more value for your values. Both spruk can do that too. All the things that, especially in the moment, specifically in any moment, I guess, feel like set us back. Mhmm.

It's really more like a sling shot than it is a grounding stake. You know? Absolutely. Well, when I learned about losing my job so right before I lost my job, my a peer of mine called me, and we had a feeling the layoffs were coming.

And, you know, I'd spent a decade where I was working. Like, I had plans, like, of retirement.

You know, I had 3 kids while I was living there. I work in there. Like, I had no expectations of this happening, and so we got to talking, and she's like, you know, what would you do if you weren't doing this?

I was like, oh, I have no idea. And I said, well, what do you do? And she's like, I've got no idea. And so we switched the story. I said, well, what do you think I should do?

And she said, I think you should blog. And I'm like, well, there is no money in blogging. That's really stupid. Thank you for that idea. No. And then went to bed and woke up the next morning, and I called her.

I'm like, challenge accepted. And she's like, challenge what challenge? I said, I started a vlog last night, and she's like, what's wrong with you? And I said, well, I don't know. I guess I'll just start doing it.

And so anyways, I looked at that experience and I started to kind of, I guess, prepare. And once the layoff happened because I had started this blog, I actually started writing this book and didn't know it.

I had content for all this book and it really pushed me forward. But what I learned through each step was we are all gonna fall and fail.

It's the direction in which we do it that is within our control. Are you gonna fall backwards or you're gonna fall forward? And so I always try I ask my kids, I make mistakes on the daily.

I am highly aware that I am by no means close to being perfect in my business, in my life, as a mom, as a friend, as human, they're not perfect. But if I'm going to fail or fall, I always try to do it in the direction.

That is going to grow. And when I lost my job, I've done a lot of retro respect, you know, looking back and reminiscing at this point, I realized I was really comfortable before I lost my job.

And since losing my job, I have uncovered that nothing good happens in comfort In fact, when we're comfortable, we overlook things. You know, we overlook health conditions. We overlook what we like doing.

We overlook our worth, our values, we overlook where we wanna go, we overlook innovation, we overlook the moment It's when we're uncomfortable that we're charged with, oh my gosh, like, you know that toothache that you have.

You don't even realize you have a tooth until the toothache happens.

Yeah. And so I actually now if I get too comfortable, I do something to get uncomfortable. I don't actually don't like being comfortable anymore. Because I know that with comfort comes complacency, and I don't wanna do that.

I wanna keep falling forward Well, sometimes it's complicity too. I don't think it's always and I agree with you for the record that complacency is a potential sort of what's the word?

I think you're exactly right. Right? But sometimes it's a conscious choice, and you're like, yeah. But that's gonna take effort. And that's a little scary.

I'm not ready for that. And you start making excuses to sort of supplement the effort or or maybe compliment the effort, I suppose. But I mean, I wouldn't I wouldn't have published my book if I didn't get laid off.

Like, please don't think I'm over here acting all big and bad. I'm no better than anybody. I was highly cool with being comfortable. Yeah. You know, I had a good paycheck.

I hated my job, by the way. I was not happy in what I was doing at that point. Like, I really did not like my job anymore. But I was comfortable. So I got the push. Sometimes life or God or the energy or whatever you wanna call it.

Right? Like, you pick your fill in the blank there. But will push you. And again, in retrospect, I look back, and I'm like, I had many opportunities to actually go down the path I was supposed to do and I didn't do it.

Until my job was taken out. Yeah. And then I was like, oh, well, great. Now I have to fly this plane and have no idea what I'm doing in the us.

Like, I'm building it at same time. Yo. It's wild. Well, I guess it's not it's not wild. That's not even a fair adjective. But it is kind of ironic that you bring that up because I think a lot of times, especially in the military.

And for everybody, listening who may be new to the show. I'm currently active duty. And so that's where this point's coming from.

The amount of people, at least in my experience, who I've come across over the years, retire are not all happy. In fact, I'd even probably bet my next paycheck the majority aren't. For any number of reasons. Right?

But of the people that I've met in my career that have been able to retire from whatever their specialties and occupational fields The majority have been divorced, estranged from their kids, no plans for the future, or at the very least no identification stand on aside from what they had done in their careers and who they'd become as a result of those careers.

And so it was the same sort of disenfranchisement after in their cases 20 plus years in a career as it is for a lot of other people after that much time.

And I don't think I don't know, but I also don't think it gets publicized that way. You know, when you go into the recruiter's office, they're like, oh, trouble, and leadership, and courage, and all these other recruiter tags.

And guys, thank you for what you do for all of you listening. But the tags are there for a reason. You know, they're incentivizing a decision and making it sound cool. What's not in the brochures is, hey, by the way.

Look, you're gonna miss your family, you're gonna grow on your own with a bunch of other lost children in Neverland, and 20 years later, the world may pass you because you're so out of necessity focused on something else.

And I think a lot of that stuff similar to what you just brought up of I don't wanna say identifying yourself based on how you identify that sort of dumb, but Rolls versus identities.

Right? Oh, it is. Yeah. And -- It is. -- you just get stuck in it.

And so now, not now, I guess, but regularly now Everybody getting out of the DOD, US DoD, for video listening, has to go through this transition program to help you re assimilate and reintegrate and rethink of yourself differently and I heard a quote.

There's something kinda cool about that. I heard a quote, and I can't remember who said it. So anybody who hears this and anybody who figures it out, send me an email or something.

But The successful people of this next century are gonna be the ones who can learn, unlearn, and relearn of their own volition. And That's 100 percent. A hundred percent.

Yeah. And I think there's some truth to that as well. So let's reel it back for a second. While we're talking about your experiences in the past and how that's changed you, let's have sort of a baseline. For how it's changed you.

Alright? This is a segment of the show called developing character. No. Developing character. Oh, it's just 2 questions. And for everybody listening, they're entirely up to Stephanie's discretion and vulnerability and willingness.

And Stephanie, I don't know is a totally okay answer as well. That's fun. So this first question, what were some of your values growing up as a teenager? Well, before I answer them, I wanna thank you for your service.

And I wanna thank those listening as well. My dad and my grandfather were both in the military, and I don't take light the sacrifices that you and others make so that I can fail forward, you know, I can learn from these.

So Okay. What were my values as a child? So I grew up as a in a cradle catholic family. So you know, I'm in the bible belt and when as a kid growing up values always aligned with my faith values.

Right? Like, it was always kind of rooted in how I saw the world through how I saw the next world, I guess. So -- Mhmm. -- however in that process, I started to really so I'm, like, okay, I can go vulnerable.

Right? I'm going vulnerable. What do you do Yeah. Cash sure. Yeah. You know, so you mentioned that time of my life. So I'm an only child, and that's not a bad thing, but it's also not a good thing.

I've decided when got married and had kids. I'm like, I'm having more than 1 because I didn't want them to have to go through some of the stuff I went through. Not that it's a bad thing, but just saying.

Anyways, at the age of 15 before then, my life was fine. Like, there was no nothing. Actually, it's almost a problem. Like, this sounds bad, but think about this. You know, we talked about that toothache.

If you'd have a toothache, you didn't have know you have teeth. If everything just works easy, you don't appreciate what you have. Oh, sure. Right? Yeah. And I didn't realize that until my parents got divorced when I was 15.

And it wasn't a bad traumatic divorce, nothing at all from that experience. It was actually a really amicable experience. My parents were very focused on me in the process. I mean, I it was really wonderful.

But in the long run, I'm looking back in the process, however, my world the footing of my life was gone. What I thought was constant was gone. I had nobody to engage with about it. I had no siblings that was going through it.

I was afraid if I talked to 1 parent, how the other would feel. Nothing that my parents did in that process, they weren't doing anything for that. It's just I was worried didn't wanna upset me by me.

And then my teenage years. Right? Like, I'm dealing with stuff, and it was, I don't know, 6 months later, that I had a pretty traumatic experience, being sexually harassed by my driver's ed instructor.

So here's this 15 year old who just learned that her family is crumbling. And then deals with something that the police told me I could never talk about. So and I did, by the way, 20 years later in my first book. Yeah. There you go.

Though there's a whole story there, Porter. A craziness in this world. But -- Uh-huh. -- but yeah. And so I think all of that also when we are put in situations that make us uncomfortable, then you do start questioning your values.

Or maybe not even questioning. You do start relying on them. You go and you look back and you see that foundation and you go, What do I need to kind of build from?

What makes sense here? What doesn't? And I started to realize that authenticity has always been at the core of who I am. I can't you know, I tried to hide my feelings and and emotions in this in both of those kind of experiences.

And I just can't do that. And so when I look at maybe how those shaped me, it shaped me to own genuineness and authenticity, but it also taught me a lot about the power of of somebody of a voice.

You know, I stripped of it from my experience. So to unpack this for those listening, I'm open book stories in my book, the driver's ed instructor has actually done this to tons of people.

He's last I looked actually still in business. That was years ago, I looked and threatened me that if I told anybody that he would find me, and it was just crazy. And he made his way into my home. I mean, it would and I was malone.

It was not good but we called the police and because you gotta remember this is an error, they can't see the gray streak of hair I have so they don't know that, you know, I'm not 20, you know, but you know, it was at an era where there were no cell phones.

Right? Like, there was nothing it was a word against his, and he had a deep relationship with the the local police department.

And so the police sided with him, I was told if I ever spoke about it. They would be slander, and I would go to jail not him. 20 years later, the Me Too movement came out and I said, we're talking about this sucker now.

And when I did, all of their gals came out of the woodwork that he had done at Tutu that I met that I was friends with and didn't know But all of that stuff I think really taught me the importance of having a voice and using your voice for good and using the voice to stand for things that aren't right.

And I couldn't do that for my driver's ed instructors' situation and my the violation that I experienced, but what I did was able to use that to build really strong relationships with my parents.

I tell my dad this, and I tell anybody who listens who will listen to me when I say this. You know, being race Catholic, divorced was not an option.

And yet my parents, you know, experienced it. And it was really hard for my dad and my mom too, but my dad especially because of his faith. And he had to make a decision before the divorce, you know, my dad was working a lot of hours.

And I would I looked back in my he was involved, but I don't know that I knew my dad. I I'd, like, knew my dad. Like, he was in the house, but I didn't know my dad.

Yeah. Sure. But when my parents got divorced, my dad made the decision, he was, like, you know, that's my girl. I'm not giving like, that's my girl. And he consciously went out of his way to would to be there for me to build a role.

And he now is literally 1 of my best friends. And so I tell people and I tell my dad on the regular I mean, my mom too, but my dad, especially, I thank them for the divorce.

The thing that could have crushed me, I would not have had the had the relationship with my dad today if it wasn't for it.

So he used his voice at that point. Right? Like, he could've just fallen in the, you know, shadows. Mhmm. There was not an expectation for him to do anything more that he did. Yeah. He did. And because of it, it was macing.

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There was not an expectation for him to do anything more that he did. Yeah. He did because of it, it was amazing. Yeah. Well and and that's the crazy thing too. Right?

There's a lot of opportunities for a negative impact based on situations that happen in our lives, but at least in my experience and from what I've seen on more than a few deployments around the world, especially, it's those moments that I guess you could say empower us to redefine what success is.

Yep. It really gives you something to stand on. There's a lady I spoke to. We had a conversation a couple weeks ago, actually here on the show her name's Cindy.

And 1 of the points that we had discussed, and right wrong or indifferent. Right? As far as opinions go, 1 of the points that we discussed was that faith essentially has to pick up when your character is not ready.

But they essentially meet at that point. And and and I think there's some I think there's some -- Yeah. -- gravity to that. You know, my parents got divorced when I was maybe 3 or 4, 5, or something.

And I never really did anything with it. If anything, I just sort of ignored it. And then that was how I treated the rest of my relationships, for the next 25 years.

I just nothing just registered with me practically at all. I was well by some accounts, cold and distant, By my account, I was normal because I didn't know it any other way, you know.

But it was just sort of how I dealt with it up until the past couple years talking to my son and talking with other people and my fiancee and trying to process things and work through things sort of out of what became necessity, I suppose.

But really, ultimately, to get to a point where you're at. It's not that you're comfortable with it, but you're content enough with it to process. Mhmm. And you can do some pretty cool stuff with it.

Once I suppose the comfort's gone. Ah. You know? Yeah. I mean, I look at things, you know, I mean, think about, you know, you have a son, so maybe he won't be hormonal as I was as a teenager.

But the types of things that I was experiencing at that time is not stuff that you would normally talk to your dad about.

And, you know, my mom obviously created an environment where that was possible, but dad went out of his way. And, I mean, when my husband and I lost our first kiddo, we had a miscarriage and Oh, sorry.

So think what do you think it's okay. Thank you. But, you know, it's not a club you wanna be a part of, but it's I am a better mom because Yeah.

Sure. But, you know, my I can talk to dad about things. Like, I talked to him about things that a lot of people go, you taught your dad about that.

I'm like, yeah. He's probably outside of my husband, my number 1 fan. Right? Like, and my mom. Right? Like, it's and it's not just because I'm his kid. It's because it's because we're buddies.

Like, you know, I I it's it's hard to explain, and I am highly aware if we talk about it regularly, that we have a very weird relationship in the sense that But I've I've not heard anybody does that.

But I think him making that conscious effort during a time when you know, I was going through stuff, and then I go through a really horrific situation and he wasn't there.

Like, he had moved out at that point. It's just it's I think all of it is a is a reminder in those formative years that every moment you have a choice. How are you gonna show up?

How are you gonna react? Are you gonna engage? How are you gonna support somebody? How are you gonna see something? Mhmm. And you can make a mistake, but don't live in the mistake because that mistake was, like, 2 moments ago.

Like, you got a new opportunity right now. And, you know, my dad did that. My son has I don't know what you call it saying, I guess, when he runs into these issues.

And truthfully, we're long distance. Right? So I don't know if he says this all the time or it just happens to be I hear him because he only says it when I'm hearing things.

But, you know, when we play video games or whatever in the evenings and he runs into some sort of a challenge in the games, They'll say big brain activated. Right? And that's his thing. Yeah.

Right? So he's 8. He'll be 9 soon, but maybe it's sort of phased, I don't know, generational thing. But either way, let's say big brain activated. And then if he if he starts to figure it out and process, he says genius mode activated.

Right? And so Cool. Yeah. And even at that point in his life, for 1, I don't think I was that critical of anything I was doing. I was like a jellyfish in life, you know. But but he he's processing differently.

And I think it's cool as a parent to be able to see that in your kids. Obviously, you you wanna support them when you wanna help them whatever, you gotta let them fail and all those nature and nurture debates.

But to see it happening, you know, it's like you learn better by teaching sometimes, and it's not until those moments when you're able to that you can process and and work through stuff.

And I think that's the difference Sort of to the point you made between friends and parents as a role, not as separate people but as a role being the same person, where as a a friend being supportive and able to listen and process and give advice and also let people fall.

Well, forward or back, but let it happen. Mhmm. And then also build them back and nurture when it's too difficult for them or they're not ready yet or maturity is not other number of things. And I think that balance is tricky.

I mean, you've done it now multiple times with your kids, but also with other authors. Oh, yeah. Right? Like in sort of juvenile points in their careers or maybe just the 1 1 book wonder or whatever it would be called.

Yeah. You just sort of got to establish that point. Like, I I can guide you, but I'm not here to talk for 2 hours because I got a career.

Sorry, mommy's working. You know? Right? Yeah. Right. It's definitely an interesting well, speaking about the modeling, experience, when COVID hit, my kids were in school, and I had been considering homeschooling.

That had been something we had actually started looking at before COVID -- Mhmm. -- based on the needs of my kids. And so I looked at my husband 1 day, I said, surely, I can't ruin them in a year.

Right? Like, so we'll just try it. What's a year? And so, again, again, I I really do believe that things don't happen on purpose. You have the ability to use for purpose. And had I not been impacted by a layoff?

I couldn't have done some of these things. Right? So I was at home, writing, and working, why not figure out how to homeschool in the process. And so the kids came home, and that's what we did for 2 and a half years.

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Why not figure out how to homeschool and process? And so the kids came home and That's what we did for 2 and a half years. Now we the kids go to a a homeschool partnership school where they go 3 days a week and they're home 2 days.

It's really cool. Oh, later. But I really love. That's awesome. But through that process, here's what's really fun because it's not like you wake up in the morning and go, I'm gonna model behavior.

And I'm gonna do because, listen, like, I am not proud of it, but they have heard mama's sailor's mouth. Like, they there are Things that I am not proud of. Yeah. But I overhear them say things to people like I was driving the minivan.

Down the road the other day. And the 3 in the back were chatting, and my oldest and my middle look like, literally like me, my my oldest son and my daughter. My youngest has blonde hair. And he looks like me, but just with blonde hair.

But the older 2, like, when they get older, like, we are a trio. And My oldest said to my daughter, you look just like mama, and my daughter goes good and I hope I grow up to be like her too.

Hey, And I just sat there and he she was like, that's the best compliment Eli. Thank you. And I just go, whoa. Whoa. And I thought, And you have to know my daughter. She doesn't she I always tell people going back to the church thing.

I'm like, if you're looking for Jesus, you're looking in the wrong places people. He's already here and that shape of a little girl named Lendy? Like, she is just a she is just a a really caring loving human, but she doesn't lie.

Yeah. And so when she said that, like, she meant it and I thought, wow. I don't know what I've done. Like, I've not it's not because She sees me published books or what I do. I think it's that she I don't know.

I think that she sees the me that's not with the definition or the title. And inevitably, she sees the good in me when I don't. And so it's a beautiful thing to be able to model and not know that you're modeling something. Yeah.

Well, I mean, kids also don't have and I'm not a whatever gist that starts with the side that might apply here, but the aspect I think that kids have, the perspective that kids have is they're not jaded by experience or life or any other filters.

Like, it's o naturale. Right? It just is. And now they may not have would you say the vocabulary to communicate what they're seeing effectively?

But That's even better. Right? That's even better. Because then it's raw. Because they're speaking, it's raw. So in my first book, color today pretty, I have a whole section called Live Life Childlike.

Mhmm. And so that book is a a journey on how to redefine success and find perspective. And 1 of the sections is around living childlike, and it's not meaning like going out and like rolling in the dirt per se.

But instead it's if we really wanna understand who we are, we were born, like, we were born for purpose But society calluses us.

We have experiences that change us. And so if you wanna get back to the core and I really do believe, like, at our core, we're just people that are called to love people.

If you do that, you gotta look at a kid. Watch a kid for a minute. Just watch them. Just listen to them. Just listen to how quick they forgive and forget. Just focus on how 1 minute they could be so mad and yelling.

And the next minute, they're hugging. Focus on how hungry they get super fast. Right? Or how the things that they see, like, was going down the road to my youngest, like, yell at almost kinda car wreck.

I'm like, He's like, did you see the cloud? And I'm like, no. He's like, it looks like a face. Ronald looks like a face. Face to see those things.

Yeah. Because To them, it's wonder, it's new, and when you see things so much, you become comfortable. They are living in a constant state of uncomfortable, But if they have a foundation around them, it's like a safe place to land.

So it's not bad uncomfortable. Maybe that's the way the best way to explain living in an uncomfortable setting.

It's not uncomfortable like you're in fight or flight all the time. It's uncomfortable in that you have a new set of eyes that you're looking at things through and you're seeing it through awe and wonder and excitement and purpose.

Mhmm. And I think that's what happens when you watch Just go to the playground. Don't be a creepy person, but go to the playground, watch a kid.

Yeah. You know? Borrow a nephew. Like, you know, I've got 3 if he maybe wants to borrow some. But just observe and you will learn more about life than you could ever teach them.

But you've sort of grown through that and past that. And we haven't even touched on your other books, but while we're talking about not rolling in the dirt, You got a book basically about Look about rolling in the dirt.

About rolling in the dirt. Right? So let's talk about emergence for a second. Yeah. What does it have to do with living life in the soil? If you're not rolling in dirt, what does it actually mean? Okay. So do you this is a test?

Do you know the nursery rhyme, Mary Mary White can priority? How does your garden grow? Oh. With what is it? Like, I don't know. Something something something something You're bringing this up and you don't know it.

What are you doing? I know it, but it's like with I don't know. Yes. Know the first part. But I remember the first part. How does your garden grow? Yes. And they say, oh, it's with all this stuff.

No. It's with manure. Like, I tell people it's with manure. Okay. You break grows with manure. Yes. So I live on a farm, didn't always live on a farm, but my grandparents had got a farm when I was 12.

And in my formative years, and while my parents were divorced, my dad and I would pack an overnight bag and go to my grandparents' farm. They didn't live there.

It was like like some people have houses, microprocessor's at a farm, a trailer on 25 acre. Yeah. It was. We went me and my dad and my cousin, and my grandma and grandpa, every single weekend, went to the farm, and we worked.

And I always say, I didn't get paid in dollars, man. I learned the value of sweat equity. Like, we were out there getting ticks and dealing with, you know, like, splitters and -- Yeah.

-- half of his shoes. But I in retrospect learned so darn much about life. Already focused it tight and we'll be right back on transacting value.

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We were out there getting ticks and dealing with, you know, like, splitters and -- Yeah.

-- tapest shoes, but I, in retrospect, learned so darn much about life. You know, on on the flip side, my other grandmother, my mom's mom, she barely had a penny to her name.

But yet, and when you walked into her humble apartment, it was filled to the brim with house plants. Mhmm. And I would watch her talk to these plants, and I would watch her care for every leaf of the plant.

Like, literally, she would get mayonnaise out and polish her plants. She would tell me about these plants, and they would thrive underneath her care.

And I as a kid, like, this was obviously formative years, and I you know, my mom laughs now that this book is coming out. With, like, a parallel to plant life.

She's like, Stephanie, you killed everything. I'm like, I know. I never watered it. Like, I didn't but when my husband and I got our first home, I required for this year with us, to have a large enough backyard to have a garden.

And I found that these this these values, these learned elements of life that I had so many years that I didn't even know we're bubbling up and I wanted to learn how to live from the earth again.

Like, not fully but as much as I could So we had a little garden and the garden grew, grew, grew, and then and then we bought a farm where we have a massive garden and an orchard that we've grown all this stuff now.

And multiple plants in the house that my cats like to eat. And so in the process, I've learned that sometimes known all the time. When I find life feels most chaotic, I will put on my cat ring boots.

They have these cute little cats on. And I'll get my farm clothes on and I go out to the garden and I pull weeds and while I'm pulling weeds, I'm also feeling the wind.

Mhmm. And I am having in a moment where I see something this little a little bitty seed that, like, fought its way to explode and let's just, like, think about this for a minute.

This 1 little seed, its whole purpose is not to forever be a seed, not to grow into a flower and look beautiful.

It's to give something to someone else and then be done, and it has fulfilled its purpose. And so like, every good book does in my world, it marinates within me and and it was time to tell this story.

So emergence is a parallel journey of looking at the things I've learned from seed to pollination in the garden and how I have seen the fruits of that labor in my own life and in the lives of other people.

Well, it's like you said, the last time we spoke, books build bridges.

So it goes Looks still bridges and breakdown walls. It is books to me are a very intimate experience into the world of someone else. And you know, when COVID hit, we couldn't travel, which made me very sad, I like to travel.

Even if it's just, like, around the area, I you know, I get tired in my spot. I'm on travel. And it hit me, I wasn't stir crazy because I was traveling -- Oh, I see.

-- through my books. Nice. And when you get into a book whether it's fiction or non I tend to I work in the nonfiction, and I write in the nonfiction. I sure do love me some fiction.

You are pausing what you think matters in life and your exploring and falling into what matters to somebody else. And if you wanna be become somebody that leaves a lasting imprint on the world, you need to go learn from other people.

You don't understand them. You don't have to like them. You don't have to agree with them. You just have to love them, and you can't do that until you learn from them.

And what I love about books, especially, you know, in the nonfiction space is you walk away learning something about somebody, and I think that makes you a richer person.

And when I say richer person, you know, richness to me does not come in the clanking of coins. It comes in the planting of seeds, you know, and these books do that within us.

And only for us to create the conditions for them to allow us to pollinate someone else and try not to be too cliche with the puns, but I really believe that.

Like, I really believe think that's what we're supposed to do. Let's leave the world better than we found it. Sure. Sure. And folks, if that doesn't wrap up how adventure can lead to prosperity, I don't know a better way to say it.

So, Stephanie, that being said, I really do appreciate the opportunity. Time has flown by. And for the sake of it, I'm gonna wrap this up a little bit.

So if anybody wants to get in touch with you, find out more information. I know you've also got a speaker series. I know you've also got obviously, empower PR group, but you've got your own books.

You've got all these other sort of affairs you're juggling and in the works with other authors as well. So how do people reach out to you or empower PR, find out more about your books.

What's the go to here? Yeah. There's 3 places you can go. It's 70 figure dot com that's FEGER will give you a glimpse into the fully author side of Stephanie, but you can get that if you go to empower p r group dot com.

But if you just Google me, you'll find it. I'm also really, really active on LinkedIn, and I love connecting with people there.

And so find me there, and you will learn about all the moving pieces, all the things, all the ways that value can be you know, I'm a believer in giving value, and you will you will be replenished from it.

And so anywhere you go, you're gonna walk away inspired to be uncomfortable to fall forward to grow from where you're planted and make room to bloom and do all that fun jazz as a person, as a professional, as a as somebody that is undefined without any form of a title because you are cool just who you are.

And you will you know, from that, that's that's amazing. So, yeah, it would be an honor for someone to dive into my stories.

My mic drop is if I can change 1 person's life. That's it. The mini doesn't matter. It's the 1. The very least then, it sounds like you dropped your mic, so congratulations. Oh, thank you. Yeah. Unreal, man.

Your your story on top of being able to get through it and then being able to share it, and then the vulnerability and humility that came was sharing it, and then being able to communicate that in ways that people can actually interpret been used is such a ridiculously underrated skill set.

So, yeah, definitely don't sell yourself short.

But yeah, so thank you for coming on the show. It was an honor. I appreciate it so much. Yeah. Of course. Of course. No problem. And folks, thank you for tuning in and listening to our entire conversation.

Plus our June core values of abundance, adventure, and prosperity. I'd also like to thank Stephanie your dad and grandpa for ultimately and your mom ultimately for influencing and inspiring your entire foundation and thought process.

Because in my opinion, despite all of your other experiences, that's sort of where everything started.

So you gotta thank them for that opportunity as well. But, folks I also gotta thank our show partners. Keith Stone Farmers market, Hophon Clugger Farms, and obviously, buzz for out for your distribution.

But if you're interested in joining our conversation or you wanna discover our other interviews, check out transactingvalue podcast dot com.

And follow along on social media while we continue to stream new interviews every Monday at 9AM Eastern Standard Time on all your favorite podcasting platforms. But until next time. That was transacting value.