Embracing Self-Worth Through Spiritual Release with Lady V

Transcript

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The views expressed in this podcast are solely those of the podcast host and guest and do not necessarily represent those of our distribution partners, supporting business relationships or supported audience.

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Welcome to Transacting Value, where we talk about practical applications for instigating self-worth when dealing with each other and even within ourselves, when we foster a podcast listening experience that lets you hear the power of a value system for managing burnout, establishing boundaries, fostering community and finding identity.

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My name is Josh Porthouse, I'm your host and we are redefining sovereignty of character.

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This is why values still hold value.

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This is Transacting Value.

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You got to get in tune with you, the creator, the universe, because we have to understand what we put out in the universe will come back to us.

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Today on Transacting Value.

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What is it about ownership and acceptance that makes it difficult to actually own and accept who we are?

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It's easy to say from one perspective about somebody else, to get into a relationship and understand and own all of them and their flaws, but what happens when it's about you?

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Today's conversation, we're talking to Tivona Elliott, all about her career, her life and how she does it.

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So, without further ado, I'm Porter, I'm your host, and this is Transacting Value.

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Tivona, how you doing?

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I'm blessed Josh.

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How are you,

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I'm doing well and again I appreciate you giving some time in the afternoon I think.

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You're in central time, right?

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Yes, I am.

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So it's afternoon here.

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It's nice and sunny.

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You know, I know it's raining in some areas, but it's sunny here.

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So I just want to say thank you, though, for this time and opportunity, absolutely.

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And especially then on a sunny day when you could be outside doing anything else.

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I appreciate your time, but you've got a pretty wild career path, I think, because it seems unconventional, it seems almost undervalued, I think, and we'll get there in a second.

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So let me start here.

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For everybody who's new to the show and obviously everybody who can't see you right now, let's just start at the beginning.

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All right, who are you?

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Where are you from?

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What sort of things have shaped your perspective?

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Well, I am Tivona Elliott, also known as Lady V, and I am a spiritual release coach, meaning that I actually am the person who actually digs deep.

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I mean, I go to the all the way to the bottom of the barrel, you know, and dig in the sticky stuff that people don't like to take and pull out.

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So that's what I do and I help you actually to release those things and those old baggage, old narratives, old limiting beliefs.

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I help you do that and roar in your greatness.

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And I'm from actually Kansas, Wichita, Kansas, and so, for me, I was molested at eight, I've been in abusive relationships, and abusive relationships that's because I didn't know me.

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I didn't know how to accept me, because I had a lot of limited beliefs and people kept telling me about my non-worth, my non-value.

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So with that, I had to take my triumph and I had to turn it into my power.

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Okay.

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And so that's what I've done.

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I've taken my hurt and my pain.

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I found my freedom in it, and then I've learned how to shatter the silence, because I don't want to break the silence, because we can break the silence all day.

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You know, but we can also put it back together.

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It might not be as pretty or, you know, as put back together as it was, but it's still available to do.

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Instead, I don't want to break it anymore.

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I wanted to shatter the silence completely.

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I wanted to stand up, I wanted to roar in my greatness, meaning that I am awakening the rebel that's with the inside of me and I am roaring and letting people know that, hey, it is okay, you will be okay.

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You don't have to live in your hurt, in your pain anymore, that it's up to you.

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You have the power to give yourself permission to come on out and awaken the rebel that's inside of you, and this is your time.

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So that's who I am in a nutshell and this is your time.

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So that's who I am in a nutshell.

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And you know, my journey is to make sure that I help one individual at a time.

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I empower and transform your life.

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One person, one book, one story at a time.

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Well, when you say acceptance, I feel like that's a spectrum.

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You know what I mean.

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It's like a sliding scale of I'm pretty complacent, sitting here, you know wherever, in my rocking chair or on the porch or whatever, dealing with my own guilt or trauma, whatever it is.

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That's acceptance.

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It's futile, but it's acceptance, right.

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And then, on the other hand, you're talking about this, this roaring into greatness phrase and concept of, I guess, ownership would be the opposite of that.

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And so how do you work along that scale, or do you always aim for the high end?

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So we always want to go to the high end.

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We want to aim for the high end.

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You know what I'm saying, which is roaring in your greatness, and let me just break that down.

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When I say roar in your greatness, roaring means to first, we're going to release.

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That's your first thing.

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Because in order to grow, in order to find your freedom, in order to find your peace, you got to break.

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You can't grow until you break, and that's why we go into the sticky, the bottom of the barrel, because that's where, really, all the underlying trauma and all the hurt and the pain that we actually hold on to that goes throughout our life.

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And we don't realize that we're actually holding on to it, but we are.

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And until we let it go, you can't find your freedom, you can't find your passion, your purpose, you can't find these things with inside of you.

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And so we have to learn how to release those things.

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That's holding us back, release those limited beliefs.

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They told me that I wasn't enough.

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They told me that I wasn't worthy.

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I was told that nobody would ever listen to my story.

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I was told that nobody would want to hear my story, that nobody would ever want to be with me.

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I wasn't wifey material.

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I heard it all.

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But here I am on Transacting Value, listening--p eople are listening to my story, so I had to break that limited belief.

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Yeah.

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You had to know that I am worthy, and so that's what I had to do.

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First was release.

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Real quick to that point.

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That isn't like you woke up on Tuesday after falling asleep on Monday and figured I'm worthy now.

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That's like a deep seated acceptance I don't know a better word for it.

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So once you get through with the next couple of letters, can you also touch on that?

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What does that even mean?

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What does that even mean?

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What does that look like?

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I will, and that's what the next few letters is going to help you to get to that part, to know what that is.

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And so then, after we do that, we have to overcome, which means that overcome the obstacles that stand in your way.

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If you don't overcome those obstacles, which means that you don't know who you are, you don't know what you will accept and what you won't accept.

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You don't know what you like and what you don't like, and that's a lot of our problems is we don't know us, we don't know who we are.

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You know what I'm saying.

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If you would have asked me two, three, four years ago who Tivona was or who Lady V was, I'd have just been looking at you like well, and I'd have gave you a generic answer just to say that I said something, but I couldn't really tell you who I was because I had no idea.

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And a lot of times we have no idea who we are.

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And it doesn't matter what your age range is.

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Some people are 60 and 70 and they still don't know who they are.

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They don't know what they want to be and who they are.

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So we have to learn these things and that's in our overcoming, which is in our rebuilding stage.

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Ok, learn these things and that's in our overcoming which is in our rebuilding stage.

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Okay.

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And then, once you start rebuilding who you are, now you start awakening.

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That means that you're awakening that little bubble that's inside of you, that's waiting to be free, waiting to know, waiting with ambition, waiting with purpose, because now you have clarity of who you are and what it is, that you are choosing to be in your greatness because my greatness isn't Josh's greatness and Josh's greatness isn't my greatness, but we're both great and we now know we are.

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But before, before the rebuilding stage, we had no idea.

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So we had to rebuild that.

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We had to unlearn, to relearn, and once we relearned our values our values not what was instilled in us, but our values, because sometimes we have to break generational curses too, because people told us this is who you are.

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ow.

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This is what you're going to be, this is what you got to be, this is what you better be.

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We have to start knowing who we are, because we're not all those people and sometimes we're trying to live up to someone else's expectations that we lose us in the mix of it.

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So you have to unlearn, to relearn, and that's in your rebuilding stage, that's in your overcoming stage.

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Once you do that, boom.

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Now it's time to awaken the rebel within now.

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It's time to say, hey, I know who I am, I know that I can be great.

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I know that this person right here was waiting to just bust out and bust what they say.

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I feel like busting loose.

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And that's what awakening the rebel is, because now you know who you are and you you're like I'm not gonna accept that.

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I'm not gonna be that, because now you know what you will accept, what you won't accept, who you are, who you're not, what you do like, what you won't accept who you are, who you're not, what you do like, what you don't like.

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You know these things now and you're always going to learn throughout your process.

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I don't want you to ever think that the learning process is over, because it's not.

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Even in my rebranding stage, which is, that's your rise stage.

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Now I am rising to the occasion of my greatness.

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I am now shattered to silence.

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I know who I am, I know what I want, and now I am stepping out of my comfort zone, which means that I am rising to my full potential.

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I am no longer sitting down here saying, well, I might be worthy, I don't know.

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No, I know that I'm worthy, I know that I'm enough, I am confident in me.

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Why?

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Because I unlearned those limited beliefs to relearn the beliefs that I now know, now of who I am and I stick to it, which means that now I roar in my greatness, I roar in my confidence, I roar in my power, because I had to release those things.

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All right, folks sit tight, we'll be right back on Transacting Value.

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Have you noticed lately how empty everything is?

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Empty streets, empty stores, empty schools.

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But I'm trying to change these empty times by being full of gratitude.

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Gratitude means saying thanks to the garbage collector, the medical providers and all those who are helping.

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Every day, things may appear empty around us, but when we're filled with gratitude, nothing is completely empty inside us.

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Gratitude is in you.

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From PassItOn.

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com.

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Now I roar in my greatness, I roar in my confidence, I roar in my power, because I had to release those things.

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Okay, but so then releasing how do you do it?

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Where do you start?

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Like I said, you can't just wake up the next day and say I'm over it.

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You know what I mean.

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What's the catalyst or what's the?

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Is it a group of friends?

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Is it internal?

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What?

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How does that happen?

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So releasing is really an internal thing, and that's where I come in spiritually, because you have to actually want.

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And what I've learned is, once I got tired Okay, my grandmother used to have this phrase until you're tired, and when you're really tired, then you'll do something about it.

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Until then, you're just talking about it, you ain't really tired, you're just talking about what you think you're tired of.

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But when you get really tired of carrying the baggage because, let me tell you something, I lived in so many states and so many different cities, but I didn't realize that I was just running, and in my running I was just taking the same baggage that I had been taking all along.

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It wasn't leaving me.

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I was just carrying it along the journey and it kept getting heavier and heavier and heavier.

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Once I got tired of carrying it, I had to make up in my mind, I had to give myself permission to let go.

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That's our hardest part.

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Yeah.

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To give ourselves permission for us.

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We give ourselves permission for everybody else because taking care of everybody else is easier than taking care of us.

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That's what our mind has told us, and so we tend to take care of other people because it's easier, it gives us a reason to do something, it's a reason to feel needed, a reason whatever these reasons that we have.

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It's easier for us to do that.

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But why is it so hard for us to do the same thing that we do for others for ourselves?

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Because we haven't given ourselves permission to yet.

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Because we've had so many limits of beliefs that we were told we wasn't worthy enough.

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That's mine, you know what I'm saying.

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Everybody's is different, but mine was.

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I wasn't worthy enough.

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So if I wasn't worthy enough, why would I step out in my power that I have no idea what it is?

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Because I'm not worthy to do that.

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And so I had to get tired of carrying that baggage and I was like you know what?

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I kept saying it and kept saying it.

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And one day I was.

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I really just said you know what?

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Today is the day that I have to figure out something new.

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I have to want it, I have to be consistent in it and I have to figure out something new.

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I have to want it, I have to be consistent in it and I have to do something, which means that I started taking measures, which was I found a coach, I found a therapist to help me along my journey and I'm still in therapy.

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To this day, I keep my therapy.

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I want you to know that therapy and coaching is very important.

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To this day, I keep my therapy.

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I want you to know that therapy and coaching is very important.

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Don't be afraid to find somebody to talk to, because it will help you along your journey when you don't know how to release it.

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Did you find that, I guess one of two things, either in having a therapist you ended up finding new friends, or that initially you didn't need a therapist because you had really good friends?

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So I didn't have any friends.

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I realized that I was my friend and in that I didn't find new friends, I found me.

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I found me in my therapy because I wasn't doing it for my friend, I wasn't doing it to look for friends, I was doing it for me and in that I found me.

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I was like oh, there she is.

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Oh my gosh, okay, who are you lady?

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Wait a minute.

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When I saw her I didn't know who she was.

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I'm looking in the mirror and I have no idea of who this lady is looking back at.

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I get that.

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No idea, and I had to relearn that.

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And therapy gave me some direction because I was hungry for it.

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And what I know is people do what they want to do.

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Say you want to go to that concert, you're going, you're going to find a way, you don't care, you're going to be there and you're not going to miss it because that's what you want to do.

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You want to go to that football or basketball game, or you want to go get that new purse or them new pair of shoes or that new suit, whatever it may be, you're going to find a way to go get it.

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So guess what?

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I chose to also choose me, the same way I choose everything else.

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I chose to choose me first too, which means I decided to say you know what?

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I'm going after it because I got to have a better life, because this life I'm living right now, I am sick and tired of being on a hamster wheel of chaos, confusion, hurt, pain, anxiety, depression.

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I had all of that, all of it, and I went through it, even going through being a lupus advocate.

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I thought the world was over for me when they told me I had lupus.

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I thought I was dead because I didn't know me.

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I didn't know the power that lied inside of me, and that's the rebel.

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The rebel is your power.

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I don't want people to look at rebel as being a bad thing.

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The rebel is your power.

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I didn't know that that was inside of me because it had already been beaten out of me because of the trauma that I lived in, from the molestation to the mental and emotional abuse of parents, loved ones, friends all these different things and people that I encountered throughout my journey.

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And now I chose to choose me first.

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Decided that I no longer wanted to live there anymore.

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I no longer wanted that, and so, yes, it helped me to find me in my therapy.

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It was a direction.

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I had to do the work, though

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Okay, well, what does that look like?

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I guess professionally you're talking well for one.

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Obviously lupus is physical, right, so there's a little bit of that aspect.

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But but your focus and your story so far sounds like you're not specifically orienting on physical considerations like changing your nail polish to feel better or something more cosmetic or superficial.

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So let's write that off for a second.

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And you mentioned anxiety and depression and these other mental faculties, right, so some of that.

00:19:38.617 --> 00:19:43.530
But you're also not saying go take a walk, get more sunshine, you'll feel better about yourself in your day.

00:19:43.530 --> 00:19:45.626
So let's write off mental stuff.

00:19:45.626 --> 00:19:56.001
And so, when you're saying spirituality, the first thing I thought was religion, and I'm sure that's a connotation you hear often, but they're not really the same, are they?

00:19:56.001 --> 00:20:00.221
Because you can take this into the workplace as an individual, the lessons and things you're talking about.

00:20:00.221 --> 00:20:06.130
You can take this into the workplace, you take this into schools, because it's the spirituality you're talking about.

00:20:06.130 --> 00:20:12.909
I'm not sure how to qualify it, but it's not a religion, it's the other stuff that's not physical and mental right.

00:20:13.529 --> 00:20:14.112
Exactly.

00:20:15.800 --> 00:20:18.329
All right, folks, sit tight and we'll be right back on Transacting Value.

00:20:20.220 --> 00:20:27.471
Join us for Transacting Value, where we discuss practical applications of personal values every Monday at 9 am on our website, transactingvaluepodcast.

00:20:27.471 --> 00:20:32.306
com, Wednesdays at 5 pm and Sundays at noon on wreathsacrossamerica.

00:20:32.306 --> 00:20:35.413
org/ radio.

00:20:38.421 --> 00:20:46.730
The spirituality you're talking about I'm not sure how to qualify it, but it's not a religion, it's the other stuff that's not physical and mental right.

00:20:47.359 --> 00:20:51.330
Exactly, it's a deeper-- I call it the deep within.

00:20:51.351 --> 00:20:52.051
Okay.

00:20:52.519 --> 00:21:02.050
And when I say deep within, it's an emotional feeling that you feel, and sometimes we can't always see it, but we can feel it.

00:21:02.050 --> 00:21:11.490
And it's a deeper than just the surface, because on the surface we only like to scrape the surface, we don't like to dig deeper.

00:21:11.490 --> 00:21:29.366
And so for me it's going in there, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, all wrapped into one, because you have to have all of those to actually pull it out and actually say, okay, how do I heal?

00:21:29.366 --> 00:21:30.810
How do I heal?

00:21:30.810 --> 00:21:37.747
And each one of these parts of you have to heal, because if they're not all healed, then you're not healed.

00:21:38.709 --> 00:21:38.969
Sure.

00:21:38.989 --> 00:21:47.085
You're not healed okay you know, if you don't heal your mental but you yield your physical, and that's what I like to say.

00:21:47.727 --> 00:21:49.070
It's like being beat up on.

00:21:49.070 --> 00:21:57.019
People think that I'm in an abusive relationship because this was my aspect and that's why I can only talk of what I've been through.

00:21:57.019 --> 00:22:06.163
I didn't know that I was in an abusive relationship because he wasn't or they wasn't beating me, they wasn't hitting me.

00:22:06.163 --> 00:22:09.231
I didn't have black eyes and bruises.

00:22:09.231 --> 00:22:30.637
However, the bruises and the trauma that was sitting on my heart, that was sitting in my emotional, that was sitting in me mentally, was trauma and I didn't realize that was a sign of abuse, was emotional and mental abuse and that, right there, is the worst abuse, because we take that over and over and over.

00:22:30.979 --> 00:22:45.113
Whereas physical abuse we can put on makeup, we can hide the marks, they'll eventually go away, we can hide that, but mental and emotional and spiritual abuse will always be with you.

00:22:45.113 --> 00:22:50.148
It carries through day to day to day to day.

00:22:50.148 --> 00:22:54.402
It never goes away and that is the part that you have to heal.

00:22:54.402 --> 00:22:59.070
So you have to take it all into account as one.

00:22:59.070 --> 00:23:06.971
So you got to heal your mental, which means that, okay, I got to do something to be mentally, I got to heal my emotion.

00:23:06.971 --> 00:23:10.923
That means I got to tap into these emotions that I really don't want to feel anymore.

00:23:10.923 --> 00:23:14.029
But in order to heal them, I got to tap into them.

00:23:14.330 --> 00:23:17.404
And so this is like finding a place to fight your demons.

00:23:17.404 --> 00:23:22.632
You go to the gym, go to the library this is what you mean, yes, okay, all right, right.

00:23:22.632 --> 00:23:24.721
And then, spiritually, you're saying how do you?

00:23:25.223 --> 00:23:28.613
And then spiritually you don't have to.

00:23:28.613 --> 00:23:32.502
I don't want people to think that it's religion, because it's not religion.

00:23:32.502 --> 00:23:37.833
Spiritual means that you are getting in tune with your creator.

00:23:37.833 --> 00:23:48.035
You are starting to be as one with who you are, and religion don't have anything to do with spirituality, because God said we are his children.

00:23:48.035 --> 00:23:58.429
He didn't say that the Baptists and the Christians and the Apostolicians and all these other people in the Catholic, I only love this group or I only love this group.

00:23:58.429 --> 00:24:14.786
No, he said he loves us all and so once you realize that he loves you because you are created in his own image, he don't want you to be hurt, he don't want you to be traumatized, he don't want you to be in a dark place.

00:24:14.786 --> 00:24:17.210
He don't want you to be in a dark place.

00:24:17.210 --> 00:24:19.815
So how do you come to the light?

00:24:19.815 --> 00:24:21.821
That means you have to get one.

00:24:21.821 --> 00:24:24.444
You got to get in tune with you.

00:24:24.444 --> 00:24:32.114
The creator, the universe because we have to understand what we put out in the universe will come back to us.

00:24:33.536 --> 00:24:34.037
Absolutely.

00:24:34.680 --> 00:24:37.951
So if you put out love, you will receive love.

00:24:37.951 --> 00:24:39.878
That's what I had to realize.

00:24:39.878 --> 00:24:47.846
Once I started putting out self-love, then I started to receive self-love, but I didn't know that.

00:24:47.846 --> 00:24:54.051
I had to learn that over time and I had to learn what does self-love look like to me?

00:24:54.051 --> 00:24:57.094
Self-love looked like to me peace.

00:24:57.094 --> 00:25:03.703
I don't want to argue, I don't want to fight, I don't want to be in negativity.

00:25:03.703 --> 00:25:04.688
That's my peace.

00:25:04.688 --> 00:25:10.791
So I have to learn how to gain peace, which is a choice, which means that guess what?

00:25:10.791 --> 00:25:17.641
Now I have to watch the people that I'm around, that I talk to, that I hang with, and I don't care who you are.

00:25:17.641 --> 00:25:27.386
If it's not aligning with my mission and my statement, I don't care who you are, I'm not in your circle, I'm not fooling with you like that.

00:25:27.386 --> 00:25:29.106
That don't mean that I don't love you.

00:25:29.106 --> 00:25:31.387
That just means that I'm not in your circle.

00:25:31.387 --> 00:25:32.946
We don't have to have no time.

00:25:33.480 --> 00:25:38.892
But that's tough because you're talking friends you've had for a while, or family.

00:25:38.892 --> 00:25:39.953
I mean, that could be anybody.

00:25:40.599 --> 00:25:42.342
So let me tell you something.

00:25:42.342 --> 00:25:47.165
In my journey, this is my shattering my silence and stepping out of my comfort zone.

00:25:47.165 --> 00:25:55.592
You say it's tough, and it could be tough, because a lot of times, mentally, we don't want to let go of things that hurt us.

00:25:55.592 --> 00:26:06.000
Because they're family, they're friends, we love them, we this and we that.

00:26:06.000 --> 00:26:16.348
Well, I had to understand that, at the end of the day, I love me too, I love me too, and that does not mean that I have to continue to take your toxicity to love you or me.

00:26:16.348 --> 00:26:24.280
And so if that means that I have to love you with the long handles and love you from a distance, that's what I would do, sir.

00:26:24.280 --> 00:26:29.003
You stand over there, I'ma stand over here and I'm okay with it.

00:26:29.003 --> 00:26:33.928
And I say that because, at the end of the day, I love all of my family.

00:26:33.928 --> 00:26:36.863
I am a family-oriented person I am.

00:26:37.285 --> 00:26:40.382
But I cut my mama off, and this is just real.

00:26:40.382 --> 00:26:42.221
I had to let her go.

00:26:42.221 --> 00:26:47.506
Not that I don't love her, it's just the fact that we can't keep being toxic to each other.

00:26:47.506 --> 00:26:48.407
It's not fair.

00:26:48.407 --> 00:26:52.023
I don't want to live like that anymore, and that's my choice.

00:26:52.023 --> 00:26:56.693
It's my choice if I stay there too, and whatever I receive.

00:26:56.693 --> 00:27:02.708
I receive and I have to take that because I chose to stay.

00:27:02.708 --> 00:27:05.991
Well, I am choosing me first, too.

00:27:05.991 --> 00:27:13.788
The same way she choosing her, I'm choosing me and I'm choosing to not be in any more toxic relationship.

00:27:13.788 --> 00:27:23.547
It doesn't matter if it's with my parents, it doesn't matter if it's with my friends, it doesn't matter if it's with my soulmate or my mate or whoever he may be in the world that's looking for me.

00:27:23.547 --> 00:27:25.409
I doesn't matter if it's with my soulmate or my mate or whoever he may be in the world that's looking for me.

00:27:25.409 --> 00:27:26.451
I don't care.

00:27:26.790 --> 00:27:30.605
I'm letting you know in advance, right here when you listen to this, if you're watching.

00:27:30.605 --> 00:27:44.162
I'm not going to take your bull just because I love you or just because I feel like I need you to love me, like I love me enough, and because if you can't love me the way God loved me, I don't want your love.

00:27:44.162 --> 00:27:59.567
I'm cool on it, thank you, because that is unconditional love, and that's how I had to learn how to love me, and so, once I learned how to love me unconditionally, now I can teach you how to love me unconditionally too.

00:27:59.567 --> 00:28:04.638
I can teach others that I come into encounter with how to love me, because this too, I can teach others that I come into encounter with how to love me.

00:28:04.638 --> 00:28:11.070
Because this is what I will accept and this is what I won't accept.

00:28:11.070 --> 00:28:12.553
I've got that.

00:28:12.553 --> 00:28:17.364
I know that because I figured out me, I rebuild it.

00:28:17.364 --> 00:28:18.005
Who?

00:28:18.545 --> 00:28:22.809
I am me and I now know my self-love.

00:28:22.809 --> 00:28:41.674
So when I put my self-love out there, my self-love comes back to me tenfold and that's why I can smile and that's why I can be free, and that's why I can be authentically me, because I went through the steps to unlearn, to relearn who I was.

00:28:43.181 --> 00:28:44.605
That's empowering in and of itself.

00:28:44.605 --> 00:28:51.605
That presence is contagious, maybe not common, but spreads.

00:28:51.605 --> 00:29:04.273
And there's a phrase that I use with a lot of people I work with, that confidence breeds competence and I think in certain circumstances it can go both ways.

00:29:04.273 --> 00:29:06.182
It's almost reciprocal.

00:29:06.182 --> 00:29:13.405
But the more confident you are, more like your rebranding phase, the easier it is for people to understand you.

00:29:13.405 --> 00:29:21.813
There's, like you said, more clarity in your purpose and so other people's competency of you and who you are increases based on your confidence.

00:29:21.813 --> 00:29:26.223
Competency of you and who you are increases based on your confidence.

00:29:26.223 --> 00:29:33.671
However, the more you understand yourself, the more you're able to learn and grasp and set boundaries and parameters to qualify who you want to be, the more confidence you build.

00:29:34.413 --> 00:29:37.280
And there's an important distinction that you mentioned.

00:29:37.280 --> 00:29:56.645
You didn't realize these things until you stopped to listen and what that sounds to me like it was natural, it was innate, it was the stuff that was influenced, but not reinterpreted, by things and people and circumstances around you.

00:29:56.645 --> 00:30:08.675
And so how do you recommend stopping for a second, for a minute, for a day, for a week, for a period of time, to think about what comes naturally to me?

00:30:08.675 --> 00:30:10.969
Where do I naturally find myself?

00:30:10.969 --> 00:30:17.173
In which circumstances, do I naturally feel more confident or more in tune and aligned?

00:30:17.173 --> 00:30:23.404
You just ask yourself these questions and consciously think of the answer, or is there a formula to do this?

00:30:24.067 --> 00:30:24.769
Make lists.

00:30:24.769 --> 00:30:27.567
A nd that's what I teach in my course.

00:30:27.567 --> 00:30:37.053
Yes, I make lists, and so the first list that I will tell you to do is make a list 50 to 100 things, of things that you like.

00:30:37.513 --> 00:30:37.775
Okay.

00:30:38.299 --> 00:30:39.265
Things that you like.

00:30:39.265 --> 00:30:39.840
Just anything.

00:30:39.840 --> 00:30:46.905
And then, on the other side, I want you to make a list of the things that you could let go in your life.

00:30:47.446 --> 00:30:48.107
Out of that list.

00:30:48.107 --> 00:30:51.414
Mm-hmm, Okay, mm-hmm Okay.

00:30:51.880 --> 00:30:59.464
Because you start realizing that in this list you're going to start realizing what's important to you.

00:30:59.726 --> 00:31:00.929
Oh, I see Okay.

00:31:01.450 --> 00:31:02.333
So make a list.

00:31:02.333 --> 00:31:08.683
You know I keep a list, I keep my list over here.

00:31:08.683 --> 00:31:09.644
It's always changing, okay.

00:31:09.644 --> 00:31:13.971
As I grow in my journey, my list change.

00:31:13.971 --> 00:31:15.575
So I keep doing them.

00:31:15.575 --> 00:31:23.134
Because my values change, my perspective change, my mindset is changing.

00:31:23.134 --> 00:31:28.787
Because you're going to change throughout your journey, because you're going to grow, sure, and if you're not growing, you ain't changing.

00:31:28.787 --> 00:31:37.067
Believe that you just stuck and stagnant where you at and you are complacent and comfortable where you're at, and that's okay too if that's where you choose to be.

00:31:37.067 --> 00:31:46.020
You know what I'm saying saying, but you can't be mad at others.

00:31:46.020 --> 00:31:48.285
That's around you, that's roaring and growing in their greatness.

00:31:48.326 --> 00:31:49.227
That's it and leaving you behind.

00:31:49.247 --> 00:31:53.921
So you chose exactly because that's a choice and you have to remember.

00:31:53.921 --> 00:31:59.148
I had to understand that everybody could not go where I was going to go.

00:31:59.148 --> 00:32:01.973
Everybody is not able to go.

00:32:01.973 --> 00:32:14.740
If we were all going to be great or fabulous or whatever, we would all be robots, we would all be the same, but we all everybody can't be entrepreneurs.

00:32:14.740 --> 00:32:16.523
They're not all for that.

00:32:16.523 --> 00:32:23.013
Everybody can't be a podcaster they're not all for that we all have our individual talents.

00:32:23.294 --> 00:32:27.906
We all have our individual gifts that we hold.

00:32:27.906 --> 00:32:30.632
The thing is, what's yours?

00:32:30.632 --> 00:32:36.442
And in these things you'll start learning who you are.

00:32:36.442 --> 00:32:39.767
You'll start valuing you know what.

00:32:39.767 --> 00:32:45.654
I realized that, wow, this ain't really I like it, but I don't love it.

00:32:45.654 --> 00:32:50.470
Something that I really can keep, or is it something I really can let go?

00:32:50.470 --> 00:33:00.468
Because the thing you know and we'll start noticing these things as you grow in your greatness, you'll start figuring these things out what's important to you.

00:33:00.468 --> 00:33:06.804
You might've liked avocado today and tomorrow you taste it and be like you know what.

00:33:06.804 --> 00:33:11.472
It's all right, but I can live without it.

00:33:11.472 --> 00:33:13.843
That's what we're talking about, you know.

00:33:14.044 --> 00:33:17.873
I mean, it's not rocket science, it's just simple things.

00:33:17.873 --> 00:33:22.229
But we make it complicated because we are complicated people.

00:33:23.372 --> 00:33:24.253
All right, folks sit tight.

00:33:24.253 --> 00:33:25.866
We'll be right back on Transacting Value.

00:33:27.661 --> 00:33:33.212
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00:34:32.135 --> 00:34:34.480
It's not rocket science, it's just simple things.

00:34:34.480 --> 00:34:38.829
But we make it complicated because we are complicated people.

00:34:39.295 --> 00:34:41.500
Ok let me push back.

00:34:41.500 --> 00:34:50.961
I think we make it complicated because we are complex and so there's so many different intricacies and influences.

00:34:50.961 --> 00:34:59.646
I think that involve how we view everything, let alone ourselves, just naturally, you know, growing up and experiencing life as we go.

00:34:59.646 --> 00:35:00.809
So I'm curious.

00:35:00.809 --> 00:35:05.206
This is a segment of the show called Developing Character Developing Character.

00:35:05.206 --> 00:35:12.204
And so for anybody new, and obviously you included, it's only two questions, as vulnerable as you want the answers to be totally up to you.

00:35:12.204 --> 00:35:30.023
But the only thing in my personal opinion that's a constant from when we're kids to when we're picking age as adults, is that we make decisions rooted in a value system, and witting or unwitting is sort of irrelevant to the point.

00:35:30.023 --> 00:35:38.588
But everything you just described first required you to stop and consider you in the present based off of you in the past.

00:35:38.588 --> 00:35:40.862
So let me start there with my first question.

00:35:40.862 --> 00:35:52.099
As far as values are concerned, what were some of the values that you remember, maybe being taught as a kid or growing up around, or just happened to sort of suck in as you were going through life?

00:35:52.920 --> 00:36:00.416
\Character one value that my grandmother really instilled into me was treat others the way you want to be treated.

00:36:00.416 --> 00:36:12.438
She always told me that, no matter what you do, if you don't want to be treated like that, don't go around here treating people and bullying people and thinking that you will 'cause it will come back to you, you know.

00:36:12.438 --> 00:36:19.389
And then my next value was be mindful of how you move out here, because karma will bite you in the ass.

00:36:19.389 --> 00:36:23.161
If you think it won't wait for it, it will.

00:36:23.161 --> 00:36:27.730
And so those were the two things that I really took and I really value.

00:36:28.195 --> 00:36:37.666
And so, again, like you said, it went with me in my adult, even in my journey now, and more so now than it was before.

00:36:37.666 --> 00:36:50.525
Because now I'm on this journey and this mission to follow and be right, because I'm trying to go to-- I'm trying to go to a greater place, and when I get there, I want him to say well done.

00:36:50.525 --> 00:37:03.539
I don't want him to be looking in the book like, well, you know, back in 2024, you know you were, yeah, you were treating X, Y and Z like I don't want that, you know.

00:37:03.539 --> 00:37:09.277
I want him to say job, well done, because you actually did, even though you were hell on wheels.

00:37:09.277 --> 00:37:23.851
You came out of that and you still kept those same values to treat people with kindness, to treat people with respect, to give love, even when love isn't being given back to you.

00:37:23.851 --> 00:37:29.561
To still do that because I am love, you are love, you are created in my image.

00:37:29.815 --> 00:37:33.724
So that's where I do, that's where I'm at, because that's how I was raised.

00:37:34.155 --> 00:37:53.802