What are the consequences of a lack of values?
You become a jellyfish. Imagine floating through the currents, tides, and storms of life without a way to steer. You become a spiritual drifter. You are a social creature that needs society for comfort, reassurance, security, sanity, and sanctuary. If you can't identify like-minded people, how do you build your group? Who becomes your "people"?
To find a family that you create, you have two options: create an environment where you are able to attract the types of people with whom you prefer to relate; associate with the patterns within which you find value. Keep in mind that value may be based on mutual acts of service like #timebanking or just through helping each other; or words of affirmation where people don't demonize each other but instead offer constructive criticism like coaches or consultants.
I understand that your "created family," your "circle," can also be "for the boys." There are people who come into our lives that stick. The friends you've grown up with can become you family too. But why? How? What is it about those people that made you click more than the others with whom you equally socialized? Just because you like the same sports teams, or at one point in life maybe even married that person, doesn't mean that you're #TogetherForever. So then why not?
In my efforts to learn more about people, I've come to realize that our spheres of influence emanate in more densley packed collectives the closer that other people get to who we authentically are. Our public space is generally a feint facade of who we more genuinely are. Once people come into our personal space, we align that increased trust, confidence, and acceptance with increased vulnerability on our part. People get to know us better. But it's not until we've shared our interpersonal space that we reveal our priorities, perspectives, and ideas that make us, us without pretense.
Imagine for a minute though if we started there, with all of the authenticity of interpersonal space and all of the self-imposed protection of public space. Is is possible? How? How long would it take to move from stranger to friend to family?
Recognizing the value of our values, and those of the people with whom we surround ourselves allows us to do that. Lacking values consequentially results in not feeling like you fit in to your work, school, circle, or even family. It feels off. People change. That's normal. But you have to go through it to grow through it.
To hear more perspective about social acceptance, self-literacy and values, listen in to Transacting Value at our website www.TransactingValuePodcast.com and we'll meet you there!
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