Can values be taught or caught?
The short answer is yes. Like all good things though, especially when attributed to younger children or even adolescent adults, they are first caught. Then those things can be refined and taught. Part of the problem when applying this theory to values is that in order to catch the values, children would need to know they exist. Right?
Not necessarily. To see people being gracious with praise, support, or compliments; or to hear people being grateful doesn't require even mentioned the word gratitude. People will assimilate that courtesy or custom when they begin to tie positive result to it. No one would imitate gratitude if it only ever resulted in getting yelled at or losing all of your money or friends. Gratitude, for example, is a value that can be caught. Once it becomes a familiar act of kindness, as we get older we can start to align those acts with the words respect, thankfulness, appreciation, or courage.
To try to attempt this process in reverse order is when we as adults often hear from each others' kids or see in movies, the kids not understanding what their parents say. The looks on kids faces when they don't understand what we're telling them. The incessant shirt tugging, interruptions, and crying while we're in the middle of a conversation, or maybe even just silence. Try to explain first how it is rude or disrespectful, and gage its impact or effectiveness. Instead consider allowing them time to learn and process on their own. Provide opportunities within relatively controlled environments to be able to learn from their own mistakes without our direct interruption every time we think they need our help. Better yet, when they are busy doing something like staring at the TV or playing with toys and then we rush them to get ready when they're not mentally "checked-in". What we've shown is how to treat other people when we want something. Consider explaining first, "Remember when I left you alone to watch your show and I gave you time to get ready without yelling at you? Stop yelling and leave me alone for a few minutes." Often with age-dependent braces here, what you've just explained then is grounded within some level of familiarity and reason.
Kids, adolescents, even some adults can learn based on how they feel more comfortable, with some sort of familiar anchor point instead of trying to grasp an ethereal concept that may get forgotten later anyway. To hear more about catching and teaching values, listen in on our website https://buff.ly/3XpJNVm to hear more.
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