Be Your Own Advocate

We have an ethical responsibility. Yeah.

Whether we are speaking to someone verbally or if we're writing something and if that's on social media or through an email, no matter what it is, the information that we're putting out in the world, we have an ethical responsibility to the people who are gonna be consuming that information and making sure that we're you know, giving them the correct information that's accurate and it's reliable.

Alrighty folks. Welcome back to transacting value where we're encouraging dialogue from different perspectives to unite over shared values.

Our theme what is now season 4 is intrinsic values. So what your character is doing when you look yourself in the mirror?

If you're new to the podcast, welcome. And if you're a continuing listener, welcome back specifically to our first mini series on the show called broadcasting value, focusing on values in radio and podcasting.

Today, we're talking our February core values of harmony, kindness, and passion with host of communication 24 7 podcast, miss Jennifer for a long. So without further ado, folks on Porter, I'm your host, and this is transacting value.

Alright, Jin. How are you doing? Welcome back. I'm great. Glad to be here. How are you doing? Great. Great. So for everybody listening, in case you missed Jen's debut on the podcast, it says season 3 at the time, what?

July, August, something like that, last year? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Well, anyway, I'm glad to have you back if you wanna hear that original interview just before we get rolling, that will be in the show notes.

So anybody can look that up as well and Jim will tag you in your profiles and all the same stuff for everybody that would love to see your face and hear your opinions again.

But all that being said, because we do have new listeners now. Who are you? Where are you born? What do you do? Who is Jen for long? I was born in Augusta, Georgia, so I grew up in Georgia.

I joined the Marine Corps right out of high school, so I left Augusta, never went back. Not to say that I don't enjoy it there, but you know how it is. Once you leave, very few people will ever go back.

I went into public affairs became a journalist, did some editing, that was the beginning of my career in communication, fast forward going to college, I decided to major in communication.

So I got a bachelor's in my master's, both in communication from George Mason University.

Up there in Fairfax, Virginia. And then somewhere along the way, I started teaching communication and public speaking courses at the college level when I was a graduate student, I just happened to stumble into it.

1 of my professors came to me saying that there was a class that needed instructors So I was all too happy to jump in and do that even though I did not know what the hell I was doing.

But, hey, you know what? Just dive right on in and I fell in love with it. So for the past 30 years -- Cool. -- you know, that's what I've been doing. I've been a communication specialist been for 18 years.

I've been teaching communication public speaking at the college level, and now I'm owner of communication 20 47A communication consulting firm and host of the communication 20 fourseven podcast where I get to talk about how we communicate.

So it's awesome.

I'm loving it. How long have you been podcasting then? I've been in podcasting for a little over a year now, a year and a couple of months now. Okay. And then as a consulting company, that's all in 1, so also a little over a year?

Yeah. Yeah. I decided to do the podcast as an extension of my company because I realized that not everybody is going to have the option of having communication skills training, paid for by their employer -- Mhmm.

-- and that everybody can afford to pay a consultant, you know, a coach, like myself to just work with them 1 on 1. On a lot of things.

So this was a way for me to just give back, you know, I very much believe in service to your community. And so this was just 1 way that I felt like I could use my strength in order to give back and help some other people out.

Yeah. Well, I mean, it makes a huge difference. Especially not just to your community though because it's -- Mhmm. -- digitized.

So You're talking over time. Here's a crazy thought. The things that you teach or talk about or discuss on your podcast could be the subject of some doctoral thesis, decades from now, where the author isn't even born yet in a while.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Absolutely. I mean, this is the stuff that we are leaving. This is our legacy. That's how I like to see it, you know, or or how I like to view it.

This is my legacy, and I'm hoping that others will be able to you know, just follow us and continue to be that example, you know, to help serve others and continue to help everybody get better at this thing we called communication because it ain't easy.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, as as a lot of things go in and throughout history though, especially when it comes to communication or communicating specifically, it all gets misinterpreted easily.

So before we dive into how you tie some of your values into your podcast, for example, or your teaching career, or just your life as a human, Let's just reel it back for some of our listeners.

Now, for the record, you didn't study this. This isn't choreographed or scripted or anything wild, so I also don't necessarily know or anybody listening that Jen's answers are gonna match the last time she played this game. But Jen.

This is called developing character. The developing character. Mhmm. Alright. So the way this works for everybody listening, because Jen's an old hat or, you know, a very young 29 year old hat, but the way this works is 3 questions.

It'll be from your perspective entirely as in-depth or as vulnerable as you wanna be about it, where we talk about your values and how they've developed your character.

So question 1. What were some of your values growing up? Let's say as a teenager? Some of my values growing up. I I think the the biggest 1 was courage coming coming from the household.

And I don't even remember if if these are gonna match what I talk about before because I've had some revelation since our last talk, so I I know that's probably gonna have a dip back.

Yeah. Yeah. Just from the background of growing up the way I did, coming from a broken home, I had a lot of alcoholism and drug abuse, and the household.

And I knew that when I graduated high school, I needed to do something to get out you know, of that environment. And college was not in the cards for me.

I did not have money. I did not know anything about financial aid. I was completely naive to anything that had to do with higher education. And so that's why I decided to join the military and where courage comes into play.

Not 1 person believed that I could do it, especially when I said, I'm gonna be a marine, and everyone's like, what the hell? Like, you have lost your damage.

Number 1, Eugen, no 1 And so I think when you want to take responsibility for your trajectory in this world, you have to be able to have the courage to stand up alone and be your own advocate because there will be times where there won't be anybody who will believe in you and believe in the decisions that you're making.

So you have to have the courage to be able to stand up and say, wait a minute. You know what? Yeah. I'm I'm gonna do this and I'm just gonna show everybody I can. Now I'm gonna be out of fight.

But, yeah, I think that's gonna be the first 1. You know, the courage to stand up and just be your own advocate and you know, just tell everybody what you believe in and not just talk about it, but to actually show it.

Yeah. Well, I'm glad you brought that up and we'll get there in just a second.

But before we get ahead of ourselves, a second question, and thank you for the first, what are some of your current values? I think a big 1 for me right now is integrity. I posted not too long ago even on Facebook.

I think integrity out of all the values that we could have a conversation about. I think integrity is the 1 that I hold higher than any of the other ones. And really, that's just based on I mean, really a lot of things.

But, you know, in a world, we live in this world of social media and it feels like there are so many relationships that we get into now that are surface level and, you know, politics get in the way, religion gets in the way, ideology's getting the way, and that's just really weighing heavily on me as of late.

So just the integrity to be able to be honest with others. And I guess it ties into the courage to not be afraid, to let them see who you are. You know, have a little bit of that vulnerability.

And I think, you know, if we wanna bridge this divide that we have in our society, I think we need to also understand that we are responsible for the type of information that we put out in the world.

And I would hope that we would have the integrity, the honesty, to be able to put out information that others can find trustworthy and be able to count on us to provide information that is trustworthy.

So, yeah, I think integrity is a big 1 right now for me. Sure. I mean, ultimately, that's what Harmony is all about too.

You know, in this particular example, an instance, for Anybody listening to this podcast or to yours in any of your interviews and episodes along the way, let alone classes you've taught, and those students where they have to be able to trust that what you are saying is credible enough that take their time, which is already scarce.

And then extend the opportunity to you or to me to take that value and exchange it with something like kind Oh, yeah.

You know? So that that level of harmony, that balance is tricky. Right? So identifying what as an individual is valuable enough for you to spend your time on it?

That's a tricky balance, but I agree understanding the integrity or more importantly, even just your own, and then being consistent with it goes a long way.

But I don't wanna detract too far from focusing on you, so I don't wanna talk about me here and now.

I have a feeling though that we are in alignment when it comes to that. You know, I yeah. I just I think we'll agree that I I we have an ethical responsibility Yeah.

Whether we are speaking to someone verbally or if we're writing something and if that's on social media or through an email, no matter what it is, the information that we're putting out in the world, we have an ethical responsibility to the people who are gonna be consuming that information and making sure that we're you know, giving them the correct information that's accurate and it's reliable.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, so saying that we're talking about people interpreting what you communicate after you've done it.

Let's go to the other end of the spectrum and then talk about the future. How do you see some of your values changing? Than, let's say, in the next 20 years.

That is a tough question. How do I see my values changing? You know, like, in the next 20 years or so? Man, I'm having a hard time answering that question because I think maybe I'm so stubborn and how I view the world.

You know, I do see that, for myself, learning how to listen with more of an empathic ear learning how to give others the faith that they need in order to express themselves even if I disagree with what they are saying.

You know, these things are very difficult to come by.

I always like say communication is a skill just like any other skill. You gotta work at it to get good at it. And so I think for myself, those would probably be the values that I I want to be more intentional at continuing to develop.

So just allowing others to safe and time they need. To communicate what they need to so that I can better understand it. But having an empathic listening, you know, style, an empathic ear, and add that to the the situation.

I think that is my personal that's what I want to go into intentionally to try to develop and, you know, how I might add something more positive to my interaction.

Mhmm. That's that's smart. It's enduring by nature. Yeah. You know? Yeah. Because everybody's different.

So how do you empathize more effectively with somebody than somebody else is going to change exponentially every person you meet in any given emotional range too. So yeah. Well, I don't know where to take that.

That's deeper than I was prepared to to handle that. Well, you said something really important there though. I mean, it it is difficult because people are so different and, you know, emotions are all over the place.

And really what you have to do is you gotta put yourself in the back seat, you know, I think that's connected to another value that I hold very highly and that, you know, humility Already folks sit tight when we ride back on transacting value.

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It is difficult because people are so different and, you know, emotions are all over the place and really what you have to do is you gotta put yourself in the back seat, you know, I think that's connected to another values that I hold very highly and that's, you know, humility having a a certain amount of humility and being able to be humble.

Because even if I just because I'm listening with an empathic ear. And if my goal is to understand what it is that you're saying, that doesn't necessarily mean that I'm going to agree with you.

Sure. You know, that doesn't necessarily mean I'm gonna act with or I'm going to discount, you know, my my own principles or my own beliefs.

But, you know, if I could at least give you enough room so that you can explain to me why you believe the way you do or, you know, where those beliefs came from, I I think that will do a lot in a lot of different relationships that we all have to be able to make those connections, you know.

So doesn't necessarily be an agreement, but, you know, just the ability to come to an understanding. And it's not easy. You're right.

Because everybody is different. Yeah. Well, it's something we talked about back in August. I actually think it was your point where you said conflict is just a natural part of relationships and communication is no exception to that.

Yeah. That's right. 100 percent. And what we're talking about well, communication 24 7 tying then your personal values and your perspective on life, what you've learned and grown into now as an adult.

How do you put those values into your podcast, into your classroom setting, into your lifestyle as you interact with people. Because saying it's 1 thing, And again, as personal or as vulnerable as you wanna be.

But, you know, saying these things means something to somebody, these values, these words. But as I'm sure you can attest as well, lessons taught aren't always the ones received.

Mhmm. So as sort of a point of clarity or just as an example, how do you put some of your personal values into your podcast, into your classroom What do you do?

Well, the first thing that I always think about regardless if it's the podcast or if it's a less that I'm putting together for the classroom or the conversation that I know I need to have with somebody is starting with the audience.

You know, remaining audience focused, audience centered. And what is the goal that I'm trying to achieve?

So you know, for example, if I'm planning an episode, I don't sit and think about what is it that I wanna say during this episode what I do is I change that into what does the audience need to know about this or what does the audience need to hear or what should the audience understand about this?

You know, so when you remain audience focused, that will go a long way in helping plan out what it is that does need to be said.

You know, how that message does need to be aligned so that you can send it in a way that the audience will be readily available to receive it.

So that's the first step right there. As I always think about the audience first, whether it's a classroom of students or, you know, a bunch of listeners on the podcast.

Well, let's say on the podcast, they're invisible. Mhmm. And most likely, total strangers. You know, like, you may have some demographic information.

Or platform considerations and percentages. But all things considered, you don't know who's listening to you. So how do you decrease the ambiguity then? Howard Bauchner: We start with well, I usually start at what is a problem?

You know, what is a problem that I can help solve? So for example, I've had a lot of people contact me about FedEx. You know, they wanna get on the big stage at some point.

And over the couple of months, I've had, like, 7 or 8 conversations with different people. So if I were to put together an episode on how to create an amazing introduction, you know, for your TED Talk.

Mhmm. I'm still going to begin with who is the audience. Now, this particular episode may not connect with everybody, every single 1 of the listeners, but that's okay.

You know, I come from the belief even if I'm able to reach just 1 person with whatever it is that I'm talking about, whether it's how to create a great hook.

You know, for your next speech or how to have a courageous conversation or how to give more effective feedback, you know, if you're a new manager I'm always thinking about who is this person, you know, who would need this information and then let that be my guide.

So, you know, in the field of communication it really is all about just understanding what are the problems that people are expressing? What are the concerns that people are expressing?

If you go out on social media, just pay attention or you read the newspaper, you know, pay attention to the news. It's very easy to highlight all the problems that people are concerned about, especially in connection with communication.

So that's how to kind of get around that. Is everybody going to be concerned with that particular problem that I'm talking about on that particular episode?

Probably not, but there are gonna be some people who are and they're the ones that I'm thinking about. Already folks sit tight and we'll be right back on transacting value.

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So that's how to kind of get around that.

Is everybody going to be concerned with that particular problem that I'm talking about on that particular episode? Probably not, but there are going to be some people who are and they're the ones that I'm thinking about.

Yeah, I think it was a blinking and maybe I'm misquoting or totally misrepresenting the quote. But who said, you can please some of the people, some of the time.

And even some of the people all the time. But you can't please all the people all the time. No. And betting communication is much along the same lines there. Yeah. Well, I mean, it's a huge, huge area.

You know, when you think about the field of communication, it's this huge umbrella term that that means so many different things from nonverbal communication to verbal communication to the technology that we use and how that impact, how we communicate.

You know, there's pull host.

So I could do this podcast in communication 24 7 for years and years and years and never repeat in episode because there's so many different angles to this very complicated process that we call communication.

Well, okay. So then let's narrow it down. Mhmm. Identifying authenticity, which an angle that you brought up and ownership of what you say or what you intend to convey in in any number of senses as well.

So to have the amount of passion that you do or conveying perspectives and the ability to communicate.

I don't know that everybody can relate to because not everybody's interested in the same things. Mhmm. I think it's fair to say though. That everybody is at least passionate about their own self interest.

Oh, yeah. Maybe not. Maybe more so. Yeah. Exactly. Maybe not, maybe more so, also their self literacy, let's call it, mhmm, right, understanding who they are they represent, how they wanna come across those types of things.

Mhmm. So how do you recommend then all of that being said? People increase the literacy of themselves to be able to do that more effectively.

1 of the things that I find is pretty common whenever I talk with somebody about communication skills development is we are all very similar in that who doesn't want to be acknowledged.

Right? Who doesn't want to be recognized? Who doesn't want to have their voice hurt and to be taken seriously. So there are some things that all of us regardless of our beliefs and our values we're all gonna have those things in common.

Now the challenge is how can I express my views and my values? In a way that you're going to want to continue to listen to me.

But we can't make that guarantee in communication. We cannot make that guarantee. So you have to be able to understand that focus on the things that you can control and try to let go of the things that you cannot control.

For example, you cannot control what anyone else says, you cannot control what anyone else does, you cannot control what anyone else believe.

However, you can control what you say and what you do. So that the beginning of understanding, alright, we're all going to have different values, beliefs, likes, dislikes, all of those things.

But there's still no reason why I can't figure out a way or at least try to figure out a way to communicate what it is that is important to me so that you can at least understand, you know, what I'm saying.

So that's why I say, you know, humility goes a long way in communication.

You do have to you have to be able to put your ego on the back seat and come from it from the perception of Alright? I'm remaining audience focused, audience centered. You know, this is a topic that I need to talk to you about.

So what can I say or how can I say this in a way that is going to make it easier for you? It's gonna be make it more palatable, you know, for you to swallow, for you to be able to digest.

It's not an easy task and also communication cannot solve every problem. So that's the big thing. That's another question I get often is people want the magic wand, you know? What can I do or what can I say to make this problem go away?

And sometimes it's really heartbreaking to understand going back to you can't control what other people say, think or do. Sometimes you cannot control anything, you know, regardless of what you say and what you do.

So it's a very difficult process and that's why it is a skill. Just like any other skill, we gotta work at it. Yeah. And then Is this not easy? Sure. Sure.

And that level of I guess, potential rejection in what you say or what you do or even who you are if you're being authentic. It doesn't mean people will like you. Already folks sit tight and we'll be right back on transacting value.

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You want more value for your values. Busbrough can do that too. Sure. Sure. And that level of, I guess, potential rejection in what you say or what you do or even who you are if you're being authentic.

That doesn't mean people will like you. No. Sometimes it's gonna mean that you're just people are gonna get pissed off at what you say, you know.

I mean, if this is what you believe, you know. And I think that's where the courage comes in though, you know, you know, to be able to go out there.

And if you wholeheartedly believe in this, and you're willing to be vulnerable in this moment, and you're willing to share what your true beliefs and values are, then you have to be prepared, not everybody is going to agree with you, and that's okay.

Not everybody has to agree with you. Yeah. Yeah. Yep. You gotta be okay with that. Which, again, is is just gonna take some time. So -- Yeah. -- speaking of time.

If there are people, for example, who given whatever setting they're in, around the world, around the country, in any level of economic standing and condition who just aren't as readily exposed to Let's call it a sphere of influence where other people are more philosophical or more introspective or talking about bigger talk topics.

It's just not a thing in their environment.

But maybe audiobooks are, maybe going to the library is maybe reading the newspapers. What types of things do you recommend reading or trying to surround yourself with to supplement maybe some of those deficiencies and and work at it.

I think the most important thing that we can do for ourselves is to get comfortable with being uncomfortable.

Mhmm. I think if you're on social media, follow people you don't necessarily agree with. If you like to read the news, yeah, read your go to, you know, news organizations, your sources, do that.

It's easy. It's easy to digest. But I think it's also important to read information from the other side, you know, so that you can be more well rounded and the topics of the day.

So if you like to have conversations with people, then I say when you're at the grocery store next time, you know, ask somebody how you're how they're doing and and invest some time and just listening to them, getting to know them and, you know, practicing those listening skills.

So I think the key to answer your question, I think the key is to seek out things that you would not necessarily go after, you know, or listen to, or read so that you can broaden your worldview, you know, and your understanding of the world and the topics that are happening around you.

Be willing to get uncomfortable. For the sake of just understanding things that you don't understand now.

I think that's the biggest gift that you can give yourself and to the world, really. Sure. Yeah. It goes a long way increasing resiliency. And, frankly, maybe even ironically here, increasing resiliency takes a little bit of being nice.

Don't don't be a douche, be kind a little bit and be open minded and willing to listen and, you know, that alone and teach people how to deal with different perspectives because you Listen.

It doesn't always have to be building resiliency as a result of rejection or building calluses as a result of friction. Yeah. No. Sometimes you just make your hands stronger.

Well, and sometimes we assume that just because we'll see a specific label, you know, for example, we're gonna assume something about that person But if you give them the opportunity to talk, you give them the space to explain maybe why they believe the way they do or why they value the things that they value.

Oh my goodness. You have given an opportunity to actually find something that you might have in common. No matter how small that something is.

But if you are completely unwilling to have a conversation with somebody because we assume, that we're already gonna disagree with them and we're not gonna like what they have to say, then you rob yourself the opportunity of actually being able to create a connection with someone new and expand your worldview.

So don't be afraid of that part of it. You know, it doesn't always end in conflict. Sometimes it really does end in, well, okay? I feel like I've kind of met a new friend today and I never in a million years would have thought that.

Yeah. Establishing commonalities. I I think it has to be the first step or at least attempting to. Already folks sit tight and we'll be right back on transacting value.

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Also, check out the communication 24 7 podcast available wherever you listen to podcasts. Yeah. Establishing commonalities. I I think it has to be the first step or at least attempting to. Yeah. Yep. I like that.

I think that's actually a a solid point being that Also, we're just about out of time to to round this out that understanding where you are and as much as I hate to couch this with and know yourself and seek self improvement reference It's exactly sort of where it has to start.

You know, you can't, in my opinion, an experience, attempt even establish commonalities with somebody else if you don't know where you stand or your opinions are.

You know, you gotta have somewhere to start from and it may be as simple as I like to color green or I'm hungry. Yeah.

That's what gets a foot in the door. But, Jen, I appreciate you taking some time to come back onto the show and talk for a little bit If people wanna reach out to you, listen to your podcast, anything, watch some of your YouTube videos.

How do people track you down? How do they get in touch? Sure. You go to my website, WWW dot communication 20 fourseven dot com, and it's all filled out. No numbers. Communication 24 7 dot com. I'm also on LinkedIn.

So if you wanted to DM me on LinkedIn, I reply there. YouTube channel is communication 24 7. So if you wanna watch some of the videos or listen to some of the interviews that I do, with experts within the field of communication.

Be happy to have you there and leave some comments, you know, and ask me some questions because I have found in, you know, doing my podcast.

1 of the things that I love is when people ask questions and they get involved in the conversation.

It just makes you know, it adds just a different element to it, and I really enjoy that. So don't be afraid to reach out and ask me some questions.

Yeah. I imagine it would help the interviews be a lot more entertaining too because then people have their own input. And then they can hear the information that they want to hear. Yep. Yeah. Absolutely. Okay. Perfect.

And for anybody listening, if you want to reach out to Jen and for whatever reason, maybe you feel uncomfortable or it's just not in the cards to get onto the website, feel free to send an email to survival dad y t at gmail dot com, and we'll get in touch with Jen on your behalf and get you guys in touch as well.

Totally cool with me. But, Jen, again, thank you for coming out. Thank you for sharing and being vulnerable and as always, being a a contributor on transacting values.

So thank you for your time. Alright. Thanks for having me. And no problem. And to everybody listening, thank you for tuning in to our core values for February of harmony, kindness, and passion.

I'd also like to thank briefly everybody that has contributed to communication 24 7 because it was ultimately your input that helped Jen form her perspective, which ultimately form the inception and foundation for this interview.

So thank you to Jen's audience because that worked out pretty well. This go around for us too, but Thank you to our show partners, Keystone Farmers Market, Buffin Clecker Farms, and obviously Buzzsprout for your distribution.

But to anybody listening, if you're interested enjoying our conversation or you wanna discover our other interviews, check out transacting value podcast dot com.

Follow along on social media while we continue to stream new interviews every Monday at 9AM Eastern Standard Time on all your favorite podcasting platforms. So until next time, that was transacting value.